My bullies growing up to have successful lives.

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I've noticed that some of the traits that describe bullies such as over confident, insensitive, pushy, dominating, etc....are pushed as positive traits in mass media. It's the ultimate Alpha in pop culture and in some primate troops, and they do end up climbing social and other ladders (such as career) if they learn to temper their temper just enough. Even if some of them *do* also fit the DSM definition of sociopath.

Then again, our consumerism is based on the concept of working for and buying from a Corporate Person for whom owner profit is the overriding priority, not being kind, responsible, good to human people...in fact the human people are merely raw materials and sometimes a target market.

But keep in mind, among many primates Alphas are only on top a short while, die far sooner on average and *always* have measurably higher stress hormones, 24/7. If you think about it, human alphas are no different.

Is that really a life worth living? I guess it all depends on how you define "success".

Three different schools for K-12 suggests three different sets of kids bullied you. The elementary school ones may have been mean but they almost certainly weren't all evil - it's unlikely that there'd be four psychopaths/sociopaths in any given, say, first grade class. Let alone a brand new set of 'em in a totally different school's, say, forth grade class. The high schoolers are a different story - old enough to be cruel and coordinated with intent.

It sucks that you got bullied. It does seem unfair the bullies came out unscathed and you're still miserable. Dwelling on the misery instead of DEALING with it, coming to terms with it and figuring out a way to move on from it seems less likely to make you miserable.

A victim of bullying isn't to blame for the actions of bullies. However, I've seen more than one case of an Aspie kid who was politely informed they were no longer welcome at a particular activity after multiple warnings for valid reasons (the 412th time they steal another kid's stuff or go around telling each and every 7 yo the flaws in their paintings) see that as bullying, especially if the parent sees it as bullying (versus activity kid isn't ready for quite yet that it is).

Respectfully, I disagree. When my daughter was younger, no matter what school she was at or which grade she was in, there were always one or two mean kids who could sense that she was different. Mostly because she didn't socialize, ignored them or simply gave the "wrong" responses. And those one or two mean kids in each grade (confirmed by the teachers or aides) would then gather a few others and seek her out in order to pick on her. I saw it, my spouse saw it, and the teachers saw it. The last school was the one where the principal said, "we call them bossy, not a bully". We'd gone through several schools by that point; each had at least one or two cruel bullies who targeted AS/ASD kids specifically because they were the least likely to have friends to support them. A month later we were homeschooling through a local district. We also met the mom of the last bully's next target after we left - also a girl on the spectrum - who confirmed our observations.

I was the 7 yo kicked out of art class for critiquing and, in hindsight, it wasn't bullying.

I'm so sorry to hear what your girl's been through and that she was targeted. How terrible. However, I'd encourage you to reconsider the homeschooling - the most important things I learned in school were how to deal with other people (I'm so not a people person): to cope with the occasional teacher who thought I was an idiot, make it through recess when BFF and I weren't speaking to each other, that doing my best wasn't enough if I didn't bother to do what was required, to do stuff to a standard I didn't set by a deadline I didn't set regardless of my feelings about it, to show up every day when my first boyfriend dumped me (my parents were right: the sky didn't fall) and muddle through group projects with assigned partners of never have chosen. It wasn't easy, I screwed up all the time and the place to screw up all the time is elementary school -- people are pretty forgiving of the 9 yo who melts down over not getting the purple chair, not so much the college sophomore. It takes a ton of practice and homeschooling, while initially "easier" on an Aspie, deprives them of skills they'll likely have a helluva time learning on their teens. Academic stuff can easily be made up later, social competence ... not so easily.

(Unsolicited advice: if she can handle it, encourage her to get a part-time job early, like, 14-15. "Soft skills" are hard to learn but nobody blinks at a teen fired from three minimum wage jobs... happens to NTs all the time too. It makes you unemployable if the three firings are in, like, college or after because the kid never had any work experience).

OP, the probability is that PTSD is a sequel to that horrific experience of bullying in your past. Another bullying survivor has created this website, which may provide some comfort and contains a list of suggestions to assist self-recovery:

http://thegrassgetsgreener.com/living-w ... -bullying/

I am sad that you were victimised in this cowardly, nasty and horrific way; many of us here were, as the different are particularly targeted, as you will so well know. I truly hope that life turns out so much better than you can foresee at the moment. This was true for me, despite sustained bullying over years - more at home than school, unfortunately, though the effects (PTSD) are the same wherever it happens. I wish you recovery, and it is possible.

What she said as that was pretty much my experience.

For example, one bully asked if I was straight. Being naive and assuming he meant my spine (I was borderline scoliosis at that age) I said no, I am curved. What followed was two years of merciless bullying of the "gay" boy. I was bullied by six groups (two elementary, two junior high and two neighbourhoods) and the script was the same: 2-4 sociopaths would gather up half the class and gang up on me. For some reason I was never bullied in High School nor late in Grade 9 thanks to a Black kid who probably knew what it was like to face prejudice and cruelty and stood up for me. I was also never bullied playing baseball except from the sociopath who went to my school and his parents and playing on another team. They literally got half the parents encouraging violence against me for no reason. Jerks!

I do remember being told that life only gets harder (NEVER say that to a depressed, bullied kid) but I found the workplace was great! My coworkers liked me, the bullies were few and far between and they could not lay a finger on me. It was Heaven!

Life usually gets easier for the bullied once the bullied reaches adulthood.

Of course, there might be some PTSD issues--but at least the active bullying is usually over, and healing begins.

I get the feeling.

Most of my bullies have had "normal" lives. Dunno about "happy." I get regular updates from my grandma. Some of them have married, some divorced, some multiple times. Some have been through Hell. Some have died of cancer. Some have disappeared. One ended up the mayor, then got kicked out and brought up on criminal charges for embezzlement...

I don't care any more. I wish them all the best. It doesn't matter what they did to me. Even if it did, I was an autistic kid. I understand why everyone said I deserved it. I probably did.

They were teaching me how to interact properly (or anyway what was improper). I'm not grateful (maybe I should be). But I don't grudge it to them any more.

Just don't ask me to make friends. I'll smile and wave if I meet them running to the PO for Grandma, but I don't want to get a cup of coffee and talk over old times. I don't want to pretend that what happened, didn't. I don't want to remember, and I don't want to pretend I've forgotten.

I'd just like to stop being so afraid that it's going to happen again that I can't reach out to anyone, or trust anyone, or go outside in my own yard (just because I live in a crappy little wanna-be town just like the one I grew up in).

Thank you for concern and advice, LeelaLeela. Our "homeschooling" is not quite what most think of when they hear the term. And despite being introverts we put effort into *not* sequestering her away (as is her inclination, too). We are fortunate enough to have a local district that has a separate satellite campus for independent study. The district charter school we utilize is very much a community & has a fair proportion of AS/ASD & other kids who were bullied elsewhere. There are on-campus classes 1-2 days a week depending on age & most of the classes are the type that involve interaction & group projects. Our daughter also volunteers at our other child's regular school in the lower grades two days a week and is involved in 4-H as well as a young programmer-gamer community online. She is currently doing as much social interaction as fits (& slightly pushes) her levels of social competency and anxiety.

I don't think you really know what you're talking about. You obviously weren't bullied much. In my experience the worst grades were 4-7. Little kids are definitely NOT innocent little angels. They are often imbeciles who take a lot of effort into pointing out anything mildly different. I have a genetic blond patch of hair (the rest of my hair is brown) and kids constantly and rudely asked "why". I had issues with my spine and little kids commented that I was a "hunch back". No. Little kids are f*****g s**ts. f**k them. They are not "innocent" just because they have cute little round faces. They are little demon f***s.

I don't have anything to say to any person who really, truly believes toddlers, 4 year olds are evil.

However, I beg to differ on when really little kids say stuff (little enough not have been taught not to look at a person with a disability and never, ever to ask an honest question about one) - it's usually done without malicious intent. My dad's blind, little kids regularly walk up to him and say "why do you have a stick?" and "he's like the little blind mouse!" -- he says "yep, I'm blind" and "born blind" and it's no big deal. A dear friend was born with only one arm (the other ends at the elbow) and her kid's toddler friends regularly, brazenly walk up to her and say "you have one arm" (response: yep!), what happened to your arm?" (nothing, born just like this), "why don't you get a fake hand / hook like the captain?" (heavy and annoying), etc. and they accept it and move on, says they have she's since she was little.

Little kids are curious, not evil.

I'm not going to speak of Marshall's behalf, but they were referring to 4-7th graders. Where I live that would put them at 9-13. That's not far off my experience: the worst was 8th grade followed closely by 7th grade. You obviously have never been bullied either but there is a difference between your example and a kid you barely knew coming up to you in private and saying "I hate you. If I could kill you I would." and another one said "I wish you would kill yourself. You do realize everybody hates you, right?" Both these kids were honours students that apparently came from good homes. Even if I was a bad kid (I was not: I was a a very sweet and kind kid), it's obvious they are not saying it out of ignorance or curiosity.

To the person who has started this thread a few things.

1. Have you considered teaching yourself some skills and turning it into a work portfolio. I know there are lots of places to learn some new skills like Khan Academy and Coursera.

2. We have 1 in 45 cases of autism thanks to the latest studies so one thing to consider is that some of these bullies will have children with autism. That is already happened to me

3. As for a girlfriend, find yourself a meet up of something that you like and just go and enjoy yourself.

No. They were not just curious. They also did nasty things like throw rocks at kids who look different. Third graders did this. The only reason adults don't bully is because they are socialized to know it is unacceptable. They still think the same way underneath. They just don't show it a brazenly as kids. The vast majority of humanity is s**t. Genetically they are s**t. They are programmed to be s**t because they are monkeys. They don't think for themselves. They are incapable. They follow the herd. The vast majority of Germany supported the Nazi's. Hitler probably had a cute face as a child, while he tortured animals. Little kids are not innocent. f**k the human race.[/quote]

Most people who bullied me when I was younger now thankfully, live far away from me, so no problem.

However, I've had encounters in the past crossing paths with bullies who have tried to apologize to me, but I told them to go f**k themselves regardless of how sympathetic they tried to be.

@ OP: Just don't think about them so much. If they have moved on with their lives, then so will you.
However, if this problem persists, make an appointment with a therapist, then start seeing your therapist on a regular basis. I started seeing a therapist in September and it has been helping me a lot with stress.