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Why do people on this forum always side with women?

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Yigeren
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17 Feb 2016, 7:17 pm

This is the reason why I think it would be so helpful to have some kind of feedback group for those with ASD. Men in particular seem to have a lot of problems with dating.

I know in my case, that I seem weird to people, and they don't know what to make of me. Some people are willing to overlook my weirdness, but most are not. Plus they misinterpret things that I say, and I misinterpret what they say, and I miss too many social cues. So honest feedback can really help a person to change behaviors, I think.

It might be something really small that someone is doing that just throws other people off. And women are naturally cautious about men, so it might take much less to scare off a woman. She doesn't know if the "off" thing about a guy is really bad or not, but her intuition tells her to stay away.

Men that are willing to overlook my weirdness probably just think that I'm hot and don't care that much if I'm weird. Or they themselves are really strange or desperate.

So maybe your problem is not that you are bad, or that women are mean, but you might have small behaviors that women see as warning signs.

Or you are attracted to superficial b****y women. Just like some women like guys that are total dicks, for whatever reason.

I don't think anyone should be trying to make the guys here think that they are bad or wrong for having trouble with dates.

I think maybe a better approach is to find out what's really going on. I think the problem is often just going to be with social skills. Even small things can give NTs the "creep" vibe. Like wrong eye contact, or tone of voice.



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 7:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Why do some guys on this forum always blanket generalize women and pretend those of us with struggles, who have faced rejection, bullying, having self esteem crushed simply don't exist. It ends up amounting to most women here probably have autism related struggles along with whatever else...we don't fit in with 'all those women' so it's hurtful when you guys just lump us all in with them, at least that is why it bothers me.

I have seen numerous times a female tries to offer support only to be told how easy they have it and essentially that they have no business speaking of such matters...since apparently women by default can just get a great relationship dropped in their lap just by existing.

All that aside if people are telling you, you're a terrible person....that everyone would prefer you dead and everything is all your fault no matter what then report them for their personal attacks, if I saw such comments directed at you or another poster I'd report them to.

Where is anything in my post saying women don't have struggles ?
Your just trying to defend women even mean knew by again turning it around to being the mans problem.
I've never applied women don't have struggles, I do think it's easier for women to find relationships. You've had way more stuff with men then I've had with women. I've been trying to date since 11 so it's been 17 years of nothing but failure. And it don't looks like the next 20 years will be any different. Can you admit that perhaps in certain areas men and women can struggle differently? The genders can't struggle identically. There will be differences.

Look at me and you, we both tried to find a relationship on okcuoid, you meet a few guys and now have a boyfriend. I been rejected over and over and told I'm worthless for past 10 or so years on okcupid. So I'm not saying it just dropped in your lap for existing , just that it wasn't as hard as my struggle in dating and love.

But this isn't about who struggles more, this is about how women tend to side with other women regardless of situation. Much how feminist are attacking some women for voting for Bernie instead of Hilary because they should support other women regardless of anything else.



nurseangela
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17 Feb 2016, 7:40 pm

Why are we in the Haven talking about this?


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17 Feb 2016, 7:42 pm

EDIT

Text deleted by advice of counsel.


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Last edited by Fnord on 17 Feb 2016, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nurseangela
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17 Feb 2016, 7:43 pm

I'd watch what you say Fnord. Don't forget where we are.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2016, 7:47 pm

Hey Sly, forget what Katy says. She's a troll. There's too much Katy in what you are saying.

I've seen woman take an interest in you here. I've seen you have nice conversations with a couple of women here. I would say, if you forget all the nonsense, and just be yourself, that you'll find a lady soon enough.



beakybird
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17 Feb 2016, 7:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
We told to lose weight, build confidence or fake it, change out clothing style, change our hair, grow a beard/shave, build muscles and get w six pack etc. when it's a woman complaining it's always, you just not going after the right guys, don't change anything for a guy.



I know you're in a bad emotional spot over your loneliness, but you are WAY off on this. Women in our society are under far, far more pressure to conform how they look to an expectation of beauty. The difficulty a woman goes through in life as a result of being overweight, unattractive, etc is way more than the same type of man. You see far more couples with a man who's got a beer belly with a woman who is thin and goes to the gym than a ripped dude with a chubby out of shape girl. People, in general, are for more cruel to an "ugly/fat" woman than a man, from either gender.

And I say this as someone who grew up the fat kid and have been overweight or grossly overweight for most of my life, child and adult.



androbot01
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17 Feb 2016, 7:51 pm

sly279 wrote:
But this isn't about who struggles more, this is about how women tend to side with other women regardless of situation. Much how feminist are attacking some women for voting for Bernie instead of Hilary because they should support other women regardless of anything else.

Good Lord. Politics too? This thread is a whirlwind.
sly, I guess you are feeling ganged up on by women. It's still not all women though. The more you see women as the enemy, the more they will be.



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 7:52 pm

Yigeren wrote:
This is the reason why I think it would be so helpful to have some kind of feedback group for those with ASD. Men in particular seem to have a lot of problems with dating.

I know in my case, that I seem weird to people, and they don't know what to make of me. Some people are willing to overlook my weirdness, but most are not. Plus they misinterpret things that I say, and I misinterpret what they say, and I miss too many social cues. So honest feedback can really help a person to change behaviors, I think.

It might be something really small that someone is doing that just throws other people off. And women are naturally cautious about men, so it might take much less to scare off a woman. She doesn't know if the "off" thing about a guy is really bad or not, but her intuition tells her to stay away.

Men that are willing to overlook my weirdness probably just think that I'm hot and don't care that much if I'm weird. Or they themselves are really strange or desperate.

So maybe your problem is not that you are bad, or that women are mean, but you might have small behaviors that women see as warning signs.

Or you are attracted to superficial b****y women. Just like some women like guys that are total dicks, for whatever reason.

I don't think anyone should be trying to make the guys here think that they are bad or wrong for having trouble with dates.

I think maybe a better approach is to find out what's really going on. I think the problem is often just going to be with social skills. Even small things can give NTs the "creep" vibe. Like wrong eye contact, or tone of voice.


It may be what others said were weird about you, some men find cute.
Niave, clumsiness are two traits lot of guys find unattractive, but others like me think is cute. I am around a lot of guys and they tend to tell stories and say that girl was so dumb I left her, I found the stories cute. But perhaps I find naive people cute because I'm a bit naive, mean yeah some of them needed told stuf but so what, it's kinda funny a girl thinking everything on the net is true it's not and best to show her, but I'd never call her dumb I'd probably blush and laugh some then show her. I think naive people see the world in a much better light then most. I use to trust everyone I didn't think people lied and used people. Sure would been a better world if they was true. I'm still a bit too trusting.

Men have various differences in what they find wierd or attractive. I'm usually the odd one out when it comes to things about women I find attractive or cute. A lot of people would call those women wierd. But I'm wierd too I guess so maybe you're right, but what's wrong with two wierd people being together? 0.o

They never meet me, never even talk to me, I'm denied even messaging them because I don't meet their list of what a real man is. Which is 22+ and hour with needing to make more down road, own a car, have their own place, handsome, athletic, confident, Manly, etc
My social skills are never seen, the few dates I went on I seemed to do fine, but as I can't message 99% of women I've never been on a date since. It's depressing :cry:



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 8:00 pm

beakybird wrote:
sly279 wrote:
We told to lose weight, build confidence or fake it, change out clothing style, change our hair, grow a beard/shave, build muscles and get w six pack etc. when it's a woman complaining it's always, you just not going after the right guys, don't change anything for a guy.



I know you're in a bad emotional spot over your loneliness, but you are WAY off on this. Women in our society are under far, far more pressure to conform how they look to an expectation of beauty. The difficulty a woman goes through in life as a result of being overweight, unattractive, etc is way more than the same type of man. You see far more couples with a man who's got a beer belly with a woman who is thin and goes to the gym than a ripped dude with a chubby out of shape girl. People, in general, are for more cruel to an "ugly/fat" woman than a man, from either gender.

And I say this as someone who grew up the fat kid and have been overweight or grossly overweight for most of my life, child and adult.

I'm. It talking about society pressure, I'm talking about advice. I've never seen a woman given advice to go hit the gym . I've seen tons of women say if you need to change your body to be with a man that's not the right man. It's also political incorrect for men to say they prefer thin women or to call women fat. It's funny and ok to call men fat, and the most common advice given to men on this forum when they say they can't get a date, is "go to a gym work out."
Where as to women is "keep looking, just gotte find the right guy"

Often seems it's assumed men are fat, maybe it's assumed women are thin so don't need to hit the gym. I think it has more to do with feminist fighting for women to be liked who they are. The who victory secrete average woman line, or the curvy barbie(notice ken is still thin with a six pack and no one cares). There's been a push for most my lifetime to see non thin women as normal and to tell women to change their body. Yeah it's not 100% done and still in its childhood but it's had an effect on how one talks to and about women. At least that I've noticed. I don't think I've ever seen anyone on wp tell a girl to go to the gym and work out to solve her relationship problem.



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 8:07 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hey Sly, forget what Katy says. She's a troll. There's too much Katy in what you are saying.

I've seen woman take an interest in you here. I've seen you have nice conversations with a couple of women here. I would say, if you forget all the nonsense, and just be yourself, that you'll find a lady soon enough.


It's not just Katy though she's the most repetitive and louder of the bunch. Others have supported her ideas or said nothing. You're amongst the few who speak out and it's a decreasing few. :( it's to the point perceels speaks out and he doesn't like me.

Who?

The problem is I am being myself and it's a crsppy self. I make 9.50 and hour and that once change unless the min wage law passes even thin it'll only be a .50 increase yearly til it gets to 13.25. Which is far from the $22 or more women here want.
I have a job and combined with ssi and aid from some other agencies I pay my bills. Why isn't that considered financially stable ? By the definition of being able to pay ones bills and live ones lifestyle it should be.

Also women don't tend to like childish playful men. And that's not even my weirdest thing. People tell me if I get s gf I'll have to sell all my video games and grow up, because women don't want to date a child.

I don't even think if I got s gf we'd ever live together,mite best to keep separate places. And just switch off every week as to where we stay.



Sabreclaw
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17 Feb 2016, 8:38 pm

I don't always side with women.



Yigeren
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17 Feb 2016, 9:27 pm

Well, if you are trying to meet women on dating sites, that could be part of the problem. People on those sites I think can often be superficial. It's like submitting a resume for a job interview; they eliminate people based off of a piece of paper without even giving them a chance. And they pick the ones that seem the best, and only those ones get an interview to actually prove themselves.

So your "dating resume" is getting rejected based on a few things that they find important without their getting to know you.



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17 Feb 2016, 10:05 pm

Is this post intentionally in the haven? The title refers to everyone on wp doing something, so i'm thinking it may not be?


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kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2016, 10:08 pm

I always advise Sly to try to meet women in person, rather than use the dating sites.



sly279
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17 Feb 2016, 10:22 pm

100000fireflies wrote:
Is this post intentionally in the haven? The title refers to everyone on wp doing something, so i'm thinking it may not be?

I'm never refering to all, everyone, anyone, etc when I make any post. Why do people keep assuming I am >.<

I posted in heaven because I feel upset and sad over how to seems a lot of people here side with women they don't know over the wp member they do know.