Sick of being unhappy

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"all the time" if id had a relationship for some of my life I might be OK, but I'm 34 and i've never been I'm a relationship. That's not normal. I hate being a freak.

I hear ya...although I bet it must be especially difficult for you, because you live in a volcano.
Not too many people can relate to that, just sayin'.

There's nothing wrong with you. Even if you aren't in a relationship, you are not alone.

Same here

Have you tried online dating?

I know this may sound really cliche but it is for good reason. You have to learn to love and accept yourself before you allow people to love you completely. Being weird isn't so strange anymore and you will find someone it just takes time.

Maybe instead of worrying about having a relationship you could maybe get yourself to a good place where you are happy even when you are not in one. I know for me it didn't happen until I was happy not being in a relationship

I have viewed some of your posts, most of which, have resonated with me, profoundly. Therefore, I thought I would share this book, that I have found to be incredibly enlightening and helpful in understanding myself, in case it might be of value to you in some way. A few years, ago, over the course of 9 months, I had an encounter with a malignant narcissist (a workplace predator, specifically), who manipulated me and my mind to no end, and, at the end of the day, I was left with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, a lack of self-worth, fear of rejection, insecurity, a need for consistency, fear of the unknown, etc.. As a result of the aforementioned, I no longer had the ability to interpret or feel love from others, properly, or perceive gestures of love, interest, desire, etc., for what they had been, and, over the past few years, the few opportunities for fulfilling, lasting friendships/relationships have died out, before they've had a chance of getting off the ground.

Certain characteristics or communication styles of others, have the ability to drive me into self-preservation/self-protection mode, which can be so subtle, that I don't really notice it. I think it comes out in the way I project myself, verbally, physically, the energy I give off, or whatever it might be, and I inevitably cause the downfall of the potential friendship, before it has a chance to fully blossom. Although, that aspect of things, is somewhat separate, from other things I've mentioned. In any case, this book has provided me with much needed knowledge and awareness, that I have only recently begun to contemplate. It will effect all of my relationships, ie, with family, work associates, potential friendships, restoring an already existing friendship, etc.

Thnks Britte I'll have a look at that. My mother has BPD.

Alliecat I am actualy relatively happy on my own. I have a good little life. It's when I meet someone that I fancy. That's when things fall apart. I get angry with myself that I can't make it work. I mean, I am the common denomonator here.

I'm actually feeling better now that I've decided to move on from this chap. I feel back to normal again. Als , it's been quite sunny this week which always helps.

That's great to hear I'm glad you feeling better

I hope Hurtloam is not mad at me.

No I'm not mad at Kraftiekortie.

Thank you

I thought you thought of me as some office pest or something. LOL

I can relate.

I am sorry It took me a really long time to finally find the right guy. But I related to what you said about being the common denominator. It's not just all you, but I understand what you mean about feeling that it must be an important factor. For me, there was a book that really helped, it was called "Attached". It made me realize some things about my own attachment style, vs. the profile of the kind of guy that I often got attracted to...and how it was causing all of the mismatch problems. I'm not saying that the "problem" is you. But if you're like me, and you felt maybe there was something I needed to figure out, then maybe that book would help.

Try not to feel sad

This isn't a bad idea I believe some people have actually posted as well to meet someone on here.

Why does it have to be you that's wrong? It's their failing as well.

Relationships don't just magically work you are bound to clash a bit with someone at first until you figure each other out. I suppose unless you/they are expecting something that can't be given :S