Upset

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I always thought the more talkative people smiled more .

Talk yes. Things to say, no. Those type seem to usually have very little in the way of independent, interesting thoughts to share. It's usually a whole lot of menial crap, and even in that way it's like your talking to the same person over and over it seems because they all say basically the same things in the same ways. At least how I see it.

I think putting out a positive vibe is helpful. Smiling, joking or finding things amusing. With Aspies the problem is often our looks do not reflect our mood or thoughts accurately to NTs. I look at the 'faking it' aspect this way: If I am in another country I am going to enjoy the experience/do better by learning and using their language. So I don't think the AS/NT translation process as faking it.

I agree. I'm not always aware of what kind of signals I'm giving off so I often feel misunderstood by others. I try to change a few things so that I'm not misinterpreted or don't get targeted as much, but not so much that I act like a completely different person.

There's some people that are passive aggressive towards me and far as I know I didn't do anything to offend them or anything. I ignore it as much as I can and focus on other things, but it makes me think that when they treat me that way it means most people will be influenced by them. I do try to smile and be friendly, but when I feel really tired it's harder for me to do and I feel like it comes out wrong.

I was recently told during an evaluation at work that I excel with interpersonal and communication skills, but at the same time people act uncomfortable around me and target me.

Yay you!



It may be that those are just jerky people. Watch how they treat other people (besides you). It may be that they target everyone who isn't in their clique, whatever it is -- their ethnic group, or social club, or religion, or age, or school background, or people who work harder than they do, or anything. Some people just have bad character, and the trick is to not let their bad character get to you (easier said than done).

They seem friendly to other people though. They could persuade other people into treating me that way too because it seems like most people are influenced by the kind of people that target me.

A lot of people don't treat me like an equal and are disrespectful towards and feel sorry for me instead. Then if they do something I'm not always sure what to say and people start to feel even more sorry for me. It's just so frustrating. I try to ignore these kinds of people, but it's sometimes hard not to if they are around me all the time. I think it's the way I talk that's causing the problem because I sound childish and people judge me for it. It's so frustrating. Then most of the time I don't have a lot of energy so it makes it harder for me to interact with people. I don't know how to stop people from feeling sorry for me or targeting me.

I feel like the reason why people feel sorry for me and act uncomfortable around me might be the same reason why I might never be in a relationship. I feel like if someone online met me in person they would start to feel sorry for me or be creeped out by me.

Sometimes I just want to get away from everyone. I'm just tired of the games and the way people are so judgemental. It's like people feel like they need to either bully or feel sorry for people who are different. I can block them out sometimes, but it's frustrating to get treated that way almost every day.

People have practiced speaking skills all through history just like skills in reading and writing. Lessons in speaking (elocution) used to be a standard part of the school curriculum for centuries, up until maybe 50 years when so much useful stuff went by the boards. I'm sure you can practice your speaking skills as well and get more comfortable with it, not so you have to use it all the time, but so the skill will be there at your command whenever you need it.