Why aren't I good enough for a woman how I am?

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Sly, what do you expect people to say when you ask questions like the one in the title of this thread?

Maybe instead of asking a question, you should say, "I'm feeling lonely and unwanted. I need hugs, stat."

(((((sly)))))

Really? What is your attitude about women? What is your attitude about employment? What is your attitude about money?I've never used a dating site. Then again, I don't post negative comments about women all over the Internet, either.No one is attacking you. We're disagreeing with you by telling you that we think you need to change your attitude regarding women and your relationship to them.

And yes, we really do "get it". Nobody likes people who complain about their problems, especially when those problems have only one significant common factor - that is, the person making the complaints. And when those complaints are along the lines of "all women hate me", it is to be expected that women will pick up on that bad attitude and react accordingly.

Every woman is different - each has different goals, standards, and tolerance levels. If every one of them reacts negatively toward one man, then it must be something about that one man that triggers their reactions. So no, the problem is obviously not with "all women".

Unless people admit that their problems originate with them, their problems will likely continue; and if they never admit that they even have problems, then those problems will never be resolved.

Suppose your happy all the time and never ever in your whole life complained about anything. Everyone complains about s**t. They do it on Facebook, on YouTube, or in person

So in your world no one or anything effects you, so if I walk up and kick you in the leg that's your fault you cause it and you better fix you getting kicked in the leg

Real world now people can effect others thigs that are out of your control can effect you. No matter what you do. You can do your best work hard and never get anywhere. You might also just get hit by a car crossing the road and die which again isn't your fault you can't control others and things others do effect you wether you like it or not. Putting you head in the sand and telling people everything bad in their life is their fault regardless of facts that it's not and out of ther control is just s**t talk. I get it fornd you don't like me so just leave me alone.

I don't think in political correctness i dont know what's right thing to say or not

Hugs

you might get further with women if you used a little political correctness. if not carried to extremes, pc is just being considerate of others' feelings. it only takes an extra minute to ask yourself how something will sound to your audience.

How was I suppose to know a woman implies all women, oddly I thought a was noun for singular.

How would that help anyways,none of the women on wp consider dating any of the men on wp. I'd rather be myself here as it's the only place I can be.

Being respectful and courteous are being considerate of others.

Politically correct is pandering to some group to win their approval. I'm seriously not mentally capable of imaging all the trillions of ways anything I say will offend anyone. Might as well not say anything, as just saying hi can offend millions of people. Anyone can be offending by anything.


What I'm getting is its not ok to talk at all about women be it one or many. Females are not to be talked about at all 0.o

And people wonder why I and other men are so messed up.

I have no advice or wisdom but I have a better job idea. You could do what my boys did and go to a temp agency. They hire laborers and guys to clean up construction sites and stuff. They also place you in factories. No experience required. You watch a safety film for training and you push buttons and move things. The pay is good and then you can get hired on by the company and you get a raise and benefits. You may not even be aware of the factories that are around there. I had no clue and had only heard of Mercedes but there are a ton more and not all automotive

Call a few temp companies and see what they say. Don't give up if the first few have nothing. Some of them only do office temps but i guarantee you there is one that does labor and factories. It's full time and you get paid better and usually daily for labor. Factories do it weekly here.

So you're saying that when you wrote "a woman" in your thread title you literally meant that there is one woman who doesn't like you and you don't know why? I don't believe that. You sound like you want to hold onto your anger when you write a response like this.



As another person said, you post your negative thoughts all over. That much negativity over and over will turn off men and women. Too much positivity can feel fake, and turn off men and woman, too. This is just how people think. The main issue is you don't seem comfortable with yourself, and if you don't like yourself how can you ask others to?



I think many of us here have posted or felt things similar to what you're posting. There is nothing wrong with you, it's just a behavior that's not helping you to get what you want. I would suggest finding a group to join to get out even for a little. I don't know if that's easy for you or not, but it has helped me. I can meet people without trying to meet people--that is, I meet women but I'm not in the group so I can find dates. If dates or relationships develop, this is good, but I don't look for them, so I'm not disappointed if nothing happens in that area. I go out to do something I enjoy (walking), so even if I don't meet many new people for a time, I've still done something fun. It has helped me worry less about relationship issues, and I've met a new group of people who enjoy my company. You will also get some insight into other people's lives and views, which should help you worry less about things like "why all women are this way," or "why other guys always have it easier," or whatever. The more you stay in your own world of disappointment, the more it will seem like everyone is happy but you, and that's not the case. This is also better than dating sites. Dating sites suck and can generally be a waste of time. Go out and do something you like so you can be with a group who shares your interest, instead of sifting through random people on a website. Like I said, even if you don't meet someone, you will at least be doing what you already like. If you're searching online then your entire focus is on searching a website, and it will be easier to feel disappointed if you don't meet someone.

Fnord gave great advice on understanding how your problems can originate with yourself. I would say, if what you're doing isn't working, change what you're doing.

And, when in doubt, also remember the wisdom of George Constanza

i'm not sure how to help you, sly, as suggestions seem to be taken as insults or impossibilities. the response i hope to get is: i'm not sure that will work, but i'll give it a try, as what i'm doing now isn't working.

I get that sly is venting, it's healthier to get it out than to hold it in. I doubt he expresses this sentiment to same degree in real life. All you can do is try to improve yourself in spite of your circumstances and I believe everybody can in one way or another. It's not good to compare yourself to other people, you'll never be happy doing that. I think telling him his main issue is that he's a complainer isn't really helpful since he could have all these same issues if he never mentioned them. Reality is reality and life is not fair, you just have to grind on and find some sliver of happiness no matter how fleeting.

Nope. I fake being happy. Smile and say I'm good etc. part of me liked to tell them no I not good I feel terrible, but that's not ok to do.

I have improved myself, problem is it's never good enough and never will be. I'll never meet the goals society says everyone should. I won't ever be middle class. My parents weren't t
And their parents weren't snd their parents weren't. Just like in old times, peasants can't become Knights and lords, most poor people will never move out of their class.

Being told to become a lord over and over wouldn't ever helped a Pesant just as telling s poor person to become middle class won't help. I looked for better work for years, I spent 4 years in college, I got great grades. Non of that matters . You can have non of that but your best friends uncle is the boss and you get hired,, you can have all of that but teds best friends uncle is the boss and so he got hired instead of you.

That's how it works around here it's all about social connections. Well I'm a aspie, I suck crap at socializing, so I don't know any bosses or friends of bosses.

I want advice on how to find love without becoming something I can't. I can't change being poor or sucking at social stuff. This is it. I'm f*****g hugely lucking to have this part time job which I may lose in September and go back to being jobless. Lots of people will never get off ssi. Lots of people will remain homeless despite ever f*****g best try they give. Hard work doesn't equal success. Most well off people never work hard in their lives, they just have connections and know how to work the system.

So yeah I gut depressed being told to change things I can't. Like telling a paralzied guy to just get up and walk. He can't walk so f*****g stop telling him to just walk.

It's annoying that sad women get comforted and told it's not their fault their great. Sad men are told it's all their fault and they just need to get a better job and change who they are to find love. Why the double standard

I don't compare myself to other people. Women do that. I don't give a s**t about other it's being better then me. I'm not competitive or ambitious.

This assumes if not tried different things, which is judgmental and insulting. Why does everyone assume I've done nothing for the last 10 years. Because that's the startups lazy guy? Because they don't want to believe that despite trying everything it didn't work?

I dont know what to do either, but anything regarding changing who I am or finding better job is f*****g no go and will not help. I know if I had s middle class job I'd have better luck with women, but that won't ever happen. I won't ever make more then min wage for the rest of my life. That's a fact that can't change so no point in suggesting I do so. Only way that'd happen if I'd been allowed to join the military even then they get paid crap.

You would suggest a person in a wheel chair just walk it off, why suggest impossible things to me 0.o due to the combination of things a better job is an impossibility for ,e unless some corp designed to give Aspies higher paying job pops up.

I want advice on how to find a gf with my current situation. I have a min wage job and only have 20-40 a month to use for required supplies and dating.

Mainly just wanted comforting with this thread and instead it's just made it worse and ruined my whole week. I felt crap and then got crapped on.

I also hate people assuming they know how I think. I do not hate myself. But I live in a world where if you want s gf or friends you have to give a s**t what they think. I'm not arrogant which would be required to not give a s**t what anyone thinks of you. I'm not going harass women who think I'm trash because I thinks I'm great. Opulent respecting women include respecting their wishes to. It be approached by men they deem as not worthy of their time? I'm not a disrespectful person. Also seems like a waste of my time chasing women who will never have any interest in me?

If I make myself physically disable will people then be more understanding?

Sly, I have an idea.

Post whatever you want
on the Rants thread: viewtopic.php?t=28605
and the
Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent thread:
viewtopic.php?f=23&t=20952

In the Rant thread, everyone who reads it knows that the person is "Ranting", the opinions expressed are not meant to be interpreted as rational or accurate.

The Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent is addressed to an unnamed specific person(s), so your posts wont be misinterpreted as directed at all women.

I hope you will consider this idea, and try it before you discount it, I think it might be a compromise that could work.

Most people seem to not read the "Rant" posts or the "Anonymous Message" posts anyway.