I worry that I'm getting bitter

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akar4
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28 Jul 2016, 2:44 pm

I just posted something that may help you here:
viewtopic.php?t=325528



Jabberwokky
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30 Jul 2016, 12:46 am

arachnids wrote:
I can totally relate to what you're saying OP. I'm 46 now and have become very bitter and dream of becoming a recluse. I can't afford to though.

Everyone else seems to be so relaxed and at ease with themselves and the world. They also seem to get away with a lot. I put one foot out of line and I'm jumped on immediately.

I don't have the answer, or indeed, any answer other than to show yourself care and don't be hard on yourself.


It was freaky reading this because I am 47 and I could very easily have written your post; it is exactly the way I feel. I am to some extent successfully being reclusive within my busy rat race existence. I am not yet a recluse but certainly reclusive.


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RetroGamer87
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30 Jul 2016, 3:38 am

Aristophanes wrote:
Well, Retro, all I can say is that bitter and happy are phases, you'll freely move between them depending on circumstances.
Yes I do. This is very jarring for me, to move between misery and euphoria several times per day.
Aristophanes wrote:
I've found myself actually getting more positive as time passes-- which is equally as disturbing because it's change and change is difficult to undertake.
Yes it's disturbing. When I start to feel good about myself it's kind of like stepping out the door and thinking you've forgotten something. If I feel happy it means I've forgotten to do something or forgotten some reason why I have to be miserable. Being sad is the default. When I'm down there's no reason not be. There's no reason to not stay that way forever. It feels like the natural order of things.


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Spiderpig
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30 Jul 2016, 3:49 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I feel society is powerless to help me but not powerless to punish me.


Nothing strange about that—punishing is usually much easier than helping, and, on top of that, it requires willingness to help you, while punishing needs only willingness to get rid of you.


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