Upset with my life and feel helpless

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Awww, thanks.

Is this how you feel?
It's similar to how I feel a lot of times
Title is "invisible"

^ Sometimes I feel that way too. If they don't want to talk to me that doesn't really bother me that much most of the time, but it depends on how close I am to that person and how they treat others. If they talk about me like I'm not there and invade my personal space then it bothers me. I don't always know how to assert myself in those kinds of situations besides saying excuse me.

I hate that I don't know how to stand up for myself. Not only is it frustrating for me, but it also causes lots of people to feel sorry for me. I can't relate to people if they pity me. I don't exactly want to get close to most of these people, but I feel like I must be doing something that causes me to have this happen since it happens so much. It would make dating impossible because it seems like most important thing above anything else is good social skills, especially if you're a girl. There also must be something really off putting about me because several people act depressed or uncomfortable around me. It's not just a few people, it's more than half. I just don't know what to do with myself.

Whenever I look up how to deal with manipulators it always talks about people you are close to and not bullies who you aren't close to. Whenever I look up personal space being invaded it always has to do with friendly encounters and not someone who is passive agressively bullying you. It's not helpful for me at all and it is so damn frustrating.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with these bullies

One thing I struggle with is with my choices with respect to how I internally respond to how others treat me. Now I am not at all suggesting that this would be good advice to follow for you or anyone else, because I truly believe that each person's situation is unique and subject to its own unique context. But what I strive for is a state where I don't allow others' blatant disrespect of me to bother me (at least not *too* much).

I'll give an example - people interrupt me constantly. Once someone even said to me, "Brian, I can't believe how often people interrupt you when you talk." But 98% of the time that it happens, I just let it go. It's a skill I've learned with practice because it was always a conscious choice that I made, and I am much better at it than I was, say 10 years ago. It was really a personal choice I made out of necessity, because I realized that I was expending so much more emotional energy when I used to get extremely upset and discouraged by how often this would happen to me. But now I just let it go. I can't necessarily control other peoples' rudeness or bullying, but what I can control (to some extent) is whether I will let it overly bother me. And overall I think I am better for it.

I'll admit though that I tend to have a harder time dealing with it when family interrupts me. So I guess that's the other "2%" of the time hehe. I just feel like with family it should be different and that you shouldn't have to worry about these types of things, but unfortunately sometimes we still face it within our families, sometimes even more strongly.

I think part of why it bothers me is that when people would do those things to me in the past they would also turn other people against me by spreading rumors or twisting information. Also, if they saw that I was close to someone they would try to create a distance between me and that person so when people treat me that way I almost always have those thoughts in the back of my mind, even if it's with someone who I don't know. I don't always know what their real intentions are or what they are capable of either so I don't really know how far they are going to go. Some day are better than others though. I think a lot of it depends on how well I sleep.

What's really sad is that these are the types of people that need professional help and they don't even realize it . I don't get why people can't just mind their own business and worry about their own concerns rather than trying to stir things up and bother others. It's almost like some people feed on that drama and crave it and almost can't help themselves.

Totally understand on the sleep part. I've been very depressed lately but things are always at their bleakest for me during periods of time where i haven't been sleeping as much or haven't been exercising or haven't been eating well (lately for me it's all 3 hehe ).

What's also frustrating is that I don't always know how to respond in those situations. Just today at work I walked into the break room and I looked up at the people in the break room and on person commented that it was weird to another coworker and I think he was talking about me because he said it right after I looked at him.