Frustrating

Post Reply New Topic

It seems that it was a case of self-correction which got unedited, since he wrote "all most" women - started writing "all", then switched to "most" and it finished with "all most". I edited it out.

I've been ninjaed

Weight loss will tone up and slim up your face which is changing it. I'm still convinced that's worth a try before considering plastic surgery, and that it would make a more positive difference than plastic surgery.

Some overweight guys can get girlfriends and wives, but it makes it more difficult without compensatory factors like a well-paying job or vibrant social skills and a charming personality.

I understand losing weight can be difficult when depressed and in an environment where eating whatever you want is the norm, but with determination, planning and support from those around you it can be done.

Being thin won’t make it for my low income or lack of car. It won’t make me a real man nor will it make me lovable.
Only thing it might do is open me up to women who just want to use s thin body fir sex and throw it away, I don’t want one night stands

I have no ambition, no determination. There no end goal reward, no pot at the end of rainbow. So no point. It’s sll or nothing, thin, good job p, car place. Unless you have all 4 it’s hopeless. So I get depressed and breaks my diet plan. I ate a bunch of fried and two hamburger today as well as two high calorie cookies, and I bought a box of nutty bars and thing of chocolate pudding. I’d have to live alone and not bring anything outside my diet plan to lose weight as well as force myself to go to thwork gym and since I sphave me every min nit at work gaming to distract myself I don’t wake up in time to do it and t do it means giving up the only thing good that brings me enjoyment in life, since going to th gym mans my life is just work, sleep, gym work sleep gym with eating the same crappy food every day after day after day.

I'm going to break from my typically overly soft & pleasant demeanour for a moment and be very straight forward with you for a change, sly:

You aren't willing to do the hard work it takes; and this is why you can't have nice things.

That's it, that's all. There's nothing else to it, really. Your personality comes through plenty fine on here in text, and you're very pessimistic, negative, and depressed - none of which are attractive to women. So, even if they gave you the opportunity to get to know you, they wouldn't be attracted to such qualities in you or anyone.

You and you alone can control your fitness level via diet and exercise. You have to be willing to be disciplined and determined to get yourself into shape or die trying. Diet, exercise, plenty of water & rest, for as long as it takes to get yourself into the kind of physical fitness that girls find attractive. In the process you'll think clearer and feel better, too, as exercise & healthy diet are fantastic treatments for depression.

If all you do is talk down about yourself and then self-sabotage by eating foods that are unhealthy, what positive result can you possibly expect?

None of this is rocket surgery stuff here. Everyone has been telling you the same truths for years. You just have to make the decision that it's more important to you to be attractive to girls than it is to be comfortably lazy and eat unhealthy comfort foods. Make that decision, then take decisive action & get your body in motion every single day, and then fuel it with the things that'll build it - and your mindset - up to a level where you actually begin to start looking & feeling good.. and then don't stop! Keep going! Never stop! And eventually, even with zero dollars in your pocket, girls will begin to notice you. You'll strike up a conversation at your local farmers market when you stop by for fresh veggies, and all of the sudden you'll wonder how you just spent an hour talking to a pretty girl and she didn't make an excuse to turn and leave.. and then you'll exchange contact info and agree to meet for dinner later that week, and then, life changes.

But not of these possibilities can become realities unless you're willing to change yourself for the better. If your idea of making these things happen is trying to wish them into existence vs. work hard for them until you achieve them, then like I said.. this is why you can't have nice things.

Last edited by goldfish21 on 14 Jun 2018, 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I dunno. I have found myself being attracted to chubby guys before. One of them still lives at home with his mom. Im attracted to him because hes intelligent even though he weighs a ton!

My autistic daughter has been living with her boyfriend for over a year now (they've been a couple for over two years). They met on OKCupid. He is approx 5'6" and a size 3X. He does have a job and a car, but not a great job; his one accomplishment is employment stability. They both geek out over the same interests and they both make allowances for the negatives in each other's portfolio of assets and liabilities.

As a mom, I am grateful that my daughter has found a good man.

So... I dispute the assertion that you have to be thin and muscular to get a girlfriend. Goldfish is gay and part of a subculture that hooks up for casual sex, so he may be overgeneralizing that what works for him would work for you. If you want a meaningful and lasting relationship, disregard his point of view.

I do think you may need to bring things to the table to counterbalance chubbiness. But it is wrong to assume that no guy who is overweight ever gets a girlfriend. (And no, my daughter is not similarly built.)

I've been very transparent about the fact that when I was fat (242lbs 38" waist) girls didn't pay attention to me. I'm currently 206.5lbs at 13.0% bodyfat & very strong, and guess what? Girls pay all kinds of attention to me even though I'm not seeking it from them. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I'm oblivious to the fact that girls are generally significantly more attracted to fit male bodies. I share this information with out of shape people like sly simply because it's True & he can utilize it to benefit himself. Get fit, girls will be more attracted to you. It's very, very, simple. All kinds of guys have all kinds of constraints as to why girls aren't as attracted to them as others (jobs/money/education etc.) but physical fitness doesn't have to be one of them. It's one of the few things that ANY guy can do for himself to improve his chances of getting a date/partner, regardless of his education, job, financial situation, car ownership, intelligence, or any other factor in socio-economic status.

Some members of the gay community have asked me why I work out, and the primary reason is for better brain function & then functional strength.. but what I tell them is also true: "Because I like hooking up with 21 year olds & I don't have a Million dollars." It's FAR easier to get fit than it is to get wealthy, so, improve your chances in the dating pool by removing the objection to an out of shape body by getting into shape. Pretty simple stuff & extremely effective - as I've proven; it even attracts people I have less than zero interest in. All. The. Time. But when I was fat and out of shape no girl paid attention to me like they do now.

^ Truth.

Working out is one of the easiest ways to improve your mood and increase your attractiveness.

Yup.
If there's nothing else you can change in your life, at least do your best to take care of your health. Daily exercise can work wonders for mental and physical health. Once you're looking and feeling good, it will improve your self-confidence.

Dr. Semmelweis is correct! Thank you, good sir

Yep. He certainly was

And.....5 foot 6 and size 3X is certainly considerably fatter-looking than what Sly is. Sly is 6 foot 3, and probably weighs about as much as this guy.

Sly is no heartthrob---but he's not the Hunchback of Notre Dame, either. He looks pretty much like a regular slightly chubby guy---not particularly fat.

I weigh 175 lbs. and I'm between a large and 1X.

The bodyweight really has not that much to do with it. If you love yourself and set your mind in a more positive direction, women will find you interesting even with above average body mass.

I am working out on a daily basis, but do you have to do that? Not really! It helps me improve my motor skills and give me the strength and energy that i desperately need throughout the week to interact with people more efficiently.

But why am i even starting with this? This will turn into an uncooperative conversation with him giving himself the role of the victim and me therefor becoming the accuser, anyway. I shouldn't even bother

Working out didn't significant improve my "success" with the ladies. I ran 3 marathons in the 1990s, and I'm proud of that. But, like I said, all this training didn't significantly improve my looks.

In fact, if I were to talk about what I did at the gym, and how I trained for my marathons, many people would get annoyed and call me "vain."

I agree! Within the last few months my body has shifted significantly to a wide chest and a small waist. It almost seems like i am a body builder, but is it really something that concerns me? No! It is just a positive addition to the overall benefits that a proper workout and a good diet brings

have gotten fit without even thinking about it through martial arts, bodyweight exercise, walking for being without a ride, and eating a strict fairly healthy diet due to allergies to almost anything that can be bought preprepared. there can be possible alternatives to get exercise through necessary or enjoyable activity, rather than making it “the” activity.


another thing that can be worked on, if one’s type is suspected, is in acquiring skills and hobbies that could make a relationship more enjoyable, intimate and less difficult to sustain passions.

the other thing to work on is flexibility... becoming open to change and growth without losing oneself, because infatuation only lasts about three years maximum. individuals are ever changing, even if it’s not obvious. to harmoniously grow along another’s side, and they yours, is like being dance partners. you have to sense one another, and move together in the right directions... it’s an inflexible stance toward inevitable change that leads to many breakups and divorces.