Feeling sorry for myself

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Ouch. Sorry about that. Totally is a drag to deal feet and leg issues.

Finally got in the shower today (trash bag taped over cast). Boy did that feel good, it's no fun to not be clean in summer heat.

Because of the broken ankle I could not drive us to a concert out of town that I had tickets for and had booked a non-refundable hotel room. Fortunately, I was able to give the tickets to my housekeeper. She reports back that it was a great concert and she had seats just 7 feet away from the singer! It gave me happiness to know that the expenditure was not wasted.

Gardening is apparently too much for me in my fragile state (that's how I broke the ankle - uneven ground) and my husband is too frail to do it all in this heat, so I have decided to give away about 2/3 of my plants (all are in containers). Found a grateful person to give much of it to. Again, there's some vicarious pleasure in seeing them go to a good home.

But these both represent losses for me. Apparently even travel in-state is going to be too hard for me, and I don't trust my legs in the garden any more, a pastime I enjoyed very much.

Daughter did give me some rides the other day, and at first she seemed very chipper but it seemed every conversation ended with her saying "Can we please stop talking about this?" - even topics she started. I think we were both irritable and got on each other's nerves, but it made me sad that it seemed to tax her so much being around me. Not saying it's either party's fault, just an irritability thing. Not only has it been hot, but my leg has been very tender with the fracture.

People said I should get help for caring for husband. Actually, although we've had a lot of adjustments and he is increasingly forgetful, HE has been taking care of ME - cooking and dishes, etc.

Would it help you any to use a wheeled walker? You could sit on it to do some gardening. I have one and its very useful. It is light and folds up to go in the car. Im glad your husband is able to help out!

Thanks Anne, but actually we already have one and it is implicated in the injury! I was out dragging a hose, while holding onto the walker, bent down to pick something up off the ground, my weak ankle was on uneven ground, it buckled, down I went, and the rest is history.

I will retain my rose bushes and a fraction of my perennials, and place them on the driveway. There, I can tend them from my mobility scooter. It's safer, though not as great an adventure.

Ankle updated: swelling is considerably less and I am taking nothing for pain. Have at least a month more in this cast, then may graduate to a boot.

Today we went to the geriatrics clinic for my husband's check-in. They put him on a second dementia drug (first donepezil, now also mementine or something like that). Also after all this time (2 years?) the doctor did give him a diagnosis, early-stage Alzheimers. For me at least, that was a help. Maybe it's being autistic, but I like to have a category.

But there are still many things my husband can do. Today he took the mobility scooter over to the senior center for Memory Cafe, and again in afternoon went to the farmer's market to get fresh sweet corn. Tomorrow he'll go get a fasting blood draw, then do a banking errand, and then go to exercise class before coming back home for lunch. Getting out and about and seeing people is good for him, and I can't drive now anyway.

I am so glad to hear your ankle is healing. May it continue to go well.

Feeling useful and needed is important to self-worth and health. Sounds like your husband is benefiting from your temporary ambulatory impairment. Not that that makes it worth it, but it does seem to be a positive side effect.

Thanks, blazingstar.

We are doing as well as could be hoped given his age and condition. I find it useful to focus on the positives - what he still CAN do - while keeping a symptom log to hand to his geriatrics doctor at visits. The thing is, for me as an autistic, there will be numerous changes on an ongoing basis, that will hit me when not expected. So it's a continual change in expectations.

Im glad that your ankle is improving!

Ahh, thanks, Anne.

I hope the ankle heals quickly for you, BeaAuthur.

Thank you, QuantumChemist.

Going back to doctor tomorrow for ankle ... this is the 6 week checkup. They may change my cast in some way.

I was told (by the doc himself) that the usual estimate for returning to driving is 8 weeks - which means 2 weeks from tomorrow. I'll be bummed if he changes that estimate tomorrow.

On another front ... man! You people with autism think you have it bad? Try going to a caregivers for Alzheimer's forum. That is the most depressing place ever! And yet - I have to go there for the information I need.

An old man came courting me
Hey do a dority
An old man came courting me
Me being young
An old man came courting me
All for to marry me
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

For he's got no faloodorum, fadidledo doorum
For he's got no faloodoorum, fadidleday
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
So maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to the church, hey do a dority
When we went to the church, me being young
When we went to the church, he left me in the lurch
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to our bed, hey do a dority
Now when we went to our bed, me being young
When we went to our bed, he neither done nor said
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Now when he went to sleep, hey do a dority
Now when we went to sleep, me being young
When we went to sleep, out of bed I did creep
Into the arms of a handsome young man

And I found his falodoorum, fa didle dodoorum
I found his faloodoorum, fa didle all day
I found his falodoorum and he got my dingdoorum
So maids when you're young never wed an old man

- Songwriters: O S Abbott. Never Wed an Old Man lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company