Already feeling like quitting college again

Post Reply New Topic

Focus on the course and what you were learning, not the people.

I didn't go to college to socialise. I went to learn more about something I enjoyed and to gain new skills and maybe get a more interesting job.

The people were just noise.

No one is looking at you and judging you. They're too busy getting on with their own lives to care.

Don't let your anxiety ruin this for you.

Write out all the positive points about college. Add to it as you go on in your course.

If you start having negative thoughts like you have expressed in your OP. Stop. Just stop. Take out the list and read the positive things.

Ok so here's what I would recommend.

My approach has been to cut out the junk from my diet in manageable increments, and it's been working very well for me. Starting July 1st, I stopped drinking all sugary drinks and started exclusively drinking water (except for on my birthday, and having milk with my cereal). Starting August 1st, I added all desserts and sweets to the list of things I'm no longer having (again, with the exception of my birthday). As of today, September 1st, I'm no longer having fast food.

I tried cutting all of these things out at once but it doesn't work for me. Doing it incrementally allows you to have a month to adapt to the change before cutting out something else, with the ultimate goal of only having unhealthy stuff on special occasions.

If you're committed to losing weight, eating less unhealthy and not allowing yourself to get diabetes, I would recommend a similar approach to the one I've taken. At first, cold-turkey is the way to go with things you're giving up, because you completely get yourself out of the habit of having whatever you've given up, and not being stuck in the habit gives you more control.

If I were you, I'd be picking the first thing you want to give up, committing to not having it at all, or only having it on very special occasions, sticking to it, and then next month picking something else and doing the same. I'd try to give up as much as you can without making it too hard to handle. If you wanted to start with drinks, giving up all sugary drinks is what I'd do, but if that seems like too much, giving up soda, for example, would be a good start. Giving up Coca-Cola and just substituting other sodas for it won't help much though.

Since you have trouble with comfort eating, if you decide to try doing this, it would be a good idea to get your therapist on board so that they can help you stay on track with alternative ways to deal with the things that make you eat for comfort.

Also, should you start doing this, I'd recommend getting a set of scale so you can keep track of your weight. Seeing your weight decrease will motivate you.

Yeah why not go to the college for the course, not the people.

I feel like the course is consuming my life. It’s making me feel like time is being taken away from me and I hate how I am considered a “freak” for wanting to talk to the opposite sex.

???

How many hours a week do you need to use on it, homework included if you have any?

And how do you know you're considered a freak?

Can you see it as a distraction from a sh*ty life as well as a path to better things both career wise and socially. What course is it?

Two hours for class time and it’s variable for homework but my energy is usually drained due to work and the horrible heat my state has.

I’ve been told I would be considered one if I tried to talk to girls in their 20’s or even my own age since I am 31 but still live with my mother, don’t have a career, and a significant history of romance.



English Composition.

Some articles claim that half of college graduates work at jobs that do not involve their diploma

Depending on what location and major, variation

College is not all that precious lil "people" act like it is

All things equal, going to college is better than no college

But not all things are equal

And just a little better

(STEM exemption)

I still don’t get what your obsession with that term is about. I also don’t wish I was a civil engineer. What a thankless profession.

Oh yeah, I didn't take the fact that you also work in to account, and the weather there even less. Understandable, then... do you think you could temporarily reduce the amount of hours you work? Or could you work less hours/not at all on the day of the week you study and work more on the other days?
As for the heat, er... drink a lot of water? I suppose nothing else that'd be easily attainable would work.

Girls in their early twenties (under 23) might really be the best to stay away from for someone your age in the romantical sense; ten year age difference is a huge deal at that point when it comes to romance. 23 or at least 25 and up however I don't see why it'd be a problem.
As for the other part, well, the stereotype about dangerous deadend momma's boys doesn't come from nowhere, it's the case with most stereotypes, so it's no wonder if some are wary of you. The way I see it, you have two options: either change your situation (you making any plans on moving out yet?) or let people somehow see that while the stereotype is sometimes true, it doesn't apply to you.
But you know, while I don't know how it is in your area, here lots of people don't have proper careers at your age and many are even unemployed, so that might not be the main problem. I think that, first and foremost, what needs fixing are your social skills. Have you gotten any practice lately (during the last two months or so?) Have you tried to ready any books that teach about proper ways to socialize?

Also, I checked the word "composition" with google translate and don't get what of those words apply to your course. Is it a grammar class? Creative writing class? Both?

"Composition" usually involves a course in "how to write well."

A "composition," in English, is something that you "compose," or "create."

It could be a creative-writing course----or it can be a course in how to write a proper research paper. Or a combination of the two.

It's a good choice career wise as Marknis is already a good writer and he's quite quick as well which makes a huge difference to earning potential in the freelance world. I've done lots of research on writing incomes for myself; I'm too slow. Good job my passion is fiction.

I can’t really answer the work related questions except that I work part time, I have to work at least twenty hours a week, and my schedule has changed before to where I don’t have to work the weekends regularly anymore. I imagine I would get put back on the weekends if I tried to change my schedule again. I do have a water bottle but sometimes I forget to fill it.

I sometimes see young women with men in their 40’s or even elderly years. I’ve even seen a girl post a video of herself having sex with an “older man” and calling it her passion on a “fling site” I tried out of desperation. I’ve attended a depression Meet Up group in Austin recently and I still hang out at the comic book store but I still suffer from stress, anxiety, and burn out.

kraftiekortie pretty much explained it for me.

So far as your OP goes, you're bringing back a lot of unhappy memories for me! The institution seemed monolithic and unsympathetic, and it always seemed like absolutely everybody else was having the time of their lives except me. In retrospect, I bet lots of people weren't, but that was how it seemed.

Twenty years too late, I had a Wechsler Test. The psychologist's report on that testing concludes (quote): "In terms of how this could impact on Mr F's presentation, it could result in difficulties in social adjustment, academic identity, relationship formation and self-concept. This is apparent in Mr F's presentation and is associated with individuals who are diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder."

So the torture you're describing goes with the territory. But if you already know you have an A.S.D. and are getting some help and support, then you may be in a slightly stronger position than I was, and good luck to you.

If you're certain you actually want the qualification, then maybe try to focus on that as your motivation and accept that, by virtue of your condition, you simply cannot expect to have the kind of fun everyone else appears to be having?

That is not the same as giving up and assuming you'll never have any fun at all. But A.S.D. is a disability, and you can take a bit of pressure off yourself if you accept that you are in some ways disabled and that's why others find it easier than you do. This has worked for me, albeit somewhat late in the day. My whole school and university career were poisoned by suicidal depression and bitter envy of all the other students who went to parties and had relationships etc. Now I realize if I'd had the right help at the right time, I could just have concentrated on being who I was, and not have ploughed so much time and energy into being miserable. Being miserable was not a good way to attract people, whether Platonic friends or sexual partners...

I just got done with some assignments but I don’t know what I should do now. I am home alone, I don’t have a place I can go hang out at since places besides the redneck bars are closed up, and the few friends I have don’t seem to be available.

The situation's obviously over now, but for future evenings like that one: you can get some execise done at home, you can do some extra studying for that course, home study something else, google around a little of you could find a better job...

Or if you want to do something nice, just take a book or watch some TV. It's not healthy to just be at home all of one's free time and not productive either if you just watch TV, but there's nothing wrong with doing that sometimes.