I'm too quiet.

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Teasing: Work, work, work. And for play?

I was doing an hour of "fun" (just for me) stuff each day, but slacked off recently. I'll get back to it.

Already got your next career/subject in mind? I have a 20-hour course I signed up for... much start... and complete.

I'm fairly sure I'll be doing more geospatial work eventually since that's what I've been planning on anyway, my internship right now is a total distraction from my plans to just focus on the one thing but at least the work can be cool.

All I've been doing for fun is riding my bike but with today's ice storm I should get into some videogames or TV, I'm not very good about relaxing on my own, all I usually do is eat + sleep + work & maybe talk to friends online if I can find anyone.

I'm rubbish at texting.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

My ASD evaluator echoed that I don't "relax". Perhaps b/c I think that sitting around is to "relax". But as you pointed out (a bike ride), that's not so. I see one definition is "rest or engage in an enjoyable activity so as to become less tired or anxious." So I clearly am the "activity" type of relaxer and mine is: research. Admittedly I call it "fun" or "play" but I suppose "relax" applies also. My ASD-like BFF and I spend hours talking sometimes... it can be intense and … relaxing? I spent the other night putting together C-19 data to look for myself at the spread rate (including logarithmic graphs) for regions of personal interest --- it calmed me down --- so that was relaxing. Therapy is relaxing for me.

Well today I I guzzled a lot of coffee without much work to do, now I'm just on my couch post bike ride doing nothing. At least I got some exercise although I'm realizing that the suburban nature of my surroundings is giving me cabin fever. I'm a mountain person, not a city person.

Society demands otherwise & having capitulated, I'm paying for it with my nerves. I gravitate to extremes, work better under pressure & can't seem to ever communicate what I need people to know.

I need people to know that I believe we should take more care of each other & that I've only ever seen them deny me any chance to make such contributions. I don't have any quarantine exit strategy, I was already walled off completely without recourse.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

RE: outdoors. I'm glad you are getting out, even though it's not far enough for you. For my husband, the mountains are his "church". With stay-at-home, he's driving five min to the nearby dog park and running up into the foothills. I'm burying myself in online research.

RE: caring for each other. What would that look like for you? I have considered volunteering, but haven't taken any steps (underwater with work/kids). I'm in more contact with my family than usual.

RE: quarantine exit strategy. I was just thinking about that yesterday, that I could get used to these restrictions and not want to expand afterwards.

Here I am, a racing mind, up overnight. My tea is ready.

I think my exit strategy is frighteningly nonexistent. I was quarantined before any of this started.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Maybe sooner or later I'll somehow be sufficiently mind-altered to transcend this.

I can at least dream anyway.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I would like to be mind-altered: to put my concerns aside and be free.

My husband is frustrated with a new bike tire: a tube air leak he can't figure out despite tubs of water and valve checks. I am frustrated by having to work... and people. I just want to do what I want to do. Why is that so difficult?

I'm actually frustrated by not having enough work to do.

People, including myself, convinced my subconscious I'm no good for anything else & now hopefully a few of us can recombobulate it.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Perhaps you need a new "hobby". I am a workaholic myself, but as I get older I funnel more and more of that energy to my own interests and not my company's interests. I'll be ready for retirement for sure (after a couple more careers).

I also can be concerned when I am "busy" with my "work" and not the household or social needs (so am 'no good'), but then I think how fortunate I am and how my priorities suit me and well, the Life is Good that way.

I'm too tired to look up "recombobulate", but I think it means put back together. MG might know.

I tend to always think that means coding more in my case; it's not my interests in the way of that, it's time & energy.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos