My stepdad is disconnected from us

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I am glad to hear that you are no longer in a home where you have stress and verbal abuse.
I am relieved that those people no longer come onto the family property.
I believe that you have made a wise decisions by getting out of there.
I hope your mother can find some way to live with his behavior, since your government does not seem to offer family members much of an option when there may be progressive emotional/mental problems.
America has a history of tragedies when no mental health care or intervention was available.
Therefore we are able to report behavioral issues where safety may be or become an issue.
Britain has apparent concern for individual rights.
America has concern for those who may get hurt.

Britain has a system where if there's actual issues like if he was seen hurting himself or us, we'd be able to report. For eg if he pulled a knife or hit someone. Or if he was cutting himself etc.

But he's just grumpy and ridiculously naive.

He has been better over Christmas. We have been blunt with him about things like tone of voice.

He thinks he is aspie. That could explain what is mostly a case of bad tone of voice and frequent use of imperatives. And disconnect from the family. I ask him if he is angry and he snaps "NO I AM NOT".

The danger is his naivety. He needs to be told in a way he doesn't perceive as nagging 'it is unsafe to trust strangers so much'.

The annoyance is mostly shouting, bad tone of voice, his ability to talk to people like we're dirt, his inability to listen to us (despite him saying it's not an issue of deafness).

The naivety means that he should probably not be left to his own devices - that mum should probably not let him make decisions that affect the whole family.

They turned out to be a nice family but still, it's not safe to have people in the front yard. Even though it's just the front yard. It's still past our gates. If someone does come into a front yard for longer than a postman, they ought to be being watched.

And he wants me to talk to him like dirt too. For eg, if I say 'I'd like a cup of tea while you're up' he ignores me but if I snap 'make me a cup of tea' (which is a rude way to talk to someone), he makes it. In either case I wouldn't mind a 'no' but I do mind being ignored.

Mum says 'how can you talk to him like that, it's horrible'. It's because that's the only way he will listen.

The disconnect keeps happening. He will repeat something shortly after someone else said it.

I just talked to him about football:

Me "That player is injured I hope they can get him better for Saturday"
Him "They're going to have to build a new one"
Me "What do you mean?!"
Him "They can't use that one. They're going to have to build a new one"

Sorry, what?! He's a man, not a building or a robot...

He said it straight faced and I asked if he was making a joke and he said no.