Single and Childless not by Choice

Post Reply New Topic

The secret to conversations is to ASK QUESTIONS. Sometimes people wish to share their lives with others and will open up if they are asked the right questions. And then it is just a matter of listening.

I have encountered plenty of people with autism who use appearance, age, culture, race to disqualify a mate, and who are highly opinionated. Attwood's book may be dated, and (if I'm not mistaken) is secondary research, not showing the original data or studies which would suggest less tendency to discriminate.

To the extent that a person with Asperger's/autism accepts outliers in a relationship, it's probably related to the fact that it's the best they can do.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I just found your statement likely untrue and certainly unhelpful.

Use information from Love and Dating with caution. It's probably better now, but for a long time it was full of misogynistic and self-defeating recommendations.

Anyway, I wish you well. People with autism do couple. My autistic daughter made dating a "special interest" (norms, behaviors, expectations) and has now been in a committed relationship for several years.

That it is, but make sure that the other person has the chance to ask you questions too if they want to, and make sure to answer them, preferably with about the same amount of detail as they answer to yours. I have this one aspie (officially diagnosed) friend who's always asking questions like an interrogation and I barely have a chance to ask anything back... though he's gotten better at having a conversation lately. The point is that just one person asking questions and the other just answering them isn't really a proper conversation, so avoid that situation.



I'd say that it is better than it was back when I joined, but it's by no means perfect and those problems still exist there so yes, use caution.