My husband is a narcissist

Post Reply New Topic

Take care, scrulie. Please keep us updated.

That's the reason that I've never been in a romantic relationship, nevermind a marrige. I'm also not in much of a hurry. I hope that you protect yourself, and get out of the relationship, if it gets out of hand.

I was 5 years in a relationship with an NPD. My mother has narcissistic
parenting style, so narcissism
is nothing new for me, even if I didn't know how to recognize it
until recently.

New here and was checking around and I wrote a HUGH long post but then lost it, trust me your proably glad...anyhow , let it suffice to say that I was in a relationship w/ my "Future-Ex-Husband-to-Be" for 7and 1/2 years of unbelievable BS, of course I bought it hook, line, and sinker and I believed "The Disney Myth"and feel like a complete idiot now.He's known as "The Dreamkiller" in my mind (He did't cheat on me that I know of) Every word that fell out of his mouth was a lie but I'm the HAPPIEST I'v been in a LOOOOOng time now that we're apart. I think the only reason we met was so I could have our 6 year old autistic daughter that he could care less about. If it doesn't relate to him it's not worthy. He even tried to make my grief over my moms death about him. "Quit crying, it's upsetting me that I don't know how to comfort you, does this shirt look good on me?"What a jerk. Feel like a idiot, but at least now I'm a HAPPY idiot!! ! pm me if you want and I'll give you the whole sordid story....don't want to bore anyone and I'm sorta long-winded as you can see. Good Luck w/ whatever you decide to do. wish you all the best, just call me "soon to be single and overjoyed about it."

I think my my ex-girlfriend and her mother both have NPD. Her mom is the like the leader, and she is the subordinate.
I seem to always go for the selfish-users for some reason.

One thing I've learned...you CAN'T change people like this. They have to realize they have a problem and change themselves...which probably won't happen..."they are always right"

They use people
Everything's about them( they are only concerned with their feelings, what people will do for them,their needs, their interests,etc.)
lying
blaming(no matter what happened, it was always someone elses fault)
controlling
impossible to please, and deal with
moody
throw a fit when they are critisized or things don't go their way
inconsiderate
no empathy
shallow minded
hard-headed/stubborn
thick skinned(on the surface anyways)
disrespectful
bad sense of humor
etc. etc. etc.

Just found your thread,scrulie..suffice to say,I know what it can be like,and you have my best wishes.

ANY sort of psychological "breathing room" is essential for maintiaining your personal sense of equilibrium and integrity with a narcissist,even though they excel at separating their energy sources from their integrity.

You can learn to recognize their patterns,be smarter than they are,enough to deal as necessary.But it is very much worth your while to keep focused on your general wellness and maintain healthy boundaries.

And I agree,Aspies and the like can be easy targets,where we don't easily foresee ulterior motives and social schemes.

Be well.

According to my psychologist, the Narcissistic Personality Trait overlaps with the Asperger's Disorder in terms of the lack of empathy. Also, Schizoid Personality Features overlap with Asperger's Disorder with restricted range of emotions, preference for solitary activities, and lacking close friends other than family.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have news!

My husband and I have agreed to separate. Thank goodness, we've managed to communicate in an adult way and decided to sort this out without animosity.

I am planning a new life for myself now. I intend to return to my psychiatric nursing career and hopefully emigrate. There are a huge number of practical details to attend to now but at least i am no longer trapped. I am feeling very positive!

I'll let you know how things are progressing. In the meantime thanks again for all your support

thats excellent news

my sister has a sort of nomadic life, travelling around the world doing nursing in various countries. Theres a lot of opportunities out there.