AprilR wrote:
But at the same time, i feel no responsibility anymore to "make life meaningful"
If it's "meaningful" or not is quite irrelevant. The life of all animals and humans could be considered meaningless. The existence of our entire solar system or cosmos could be considered meaningless. Just ask a nihilist about how meaningful the existence of humanity is. Does that mean they should stop existing?
They bring diversity into the universe. A unique form of existence. No matter what they do with their life.
Existence is preferable over non-existence. No matter if it's "meaningful" or not. What matters is whether you feel comfortable with existence, and if you find ways to enjoy it.
The definitions of the word "meaningful" are limited by the ego, "cultural programming", the very limited extent of human consciousness, etc. So the word "meaningful" is pretty much meaningless. It can mean everything or nothing. If you want a meaningful life, then just define the word "meaningful" in a way which makes it possible to make your life meaningful.
E.g. you may find meaning in creating things no one has ever created before. Because it brings novelty into the universe (my very limited ego and consciousness tell me that there wouldn't be much real novelty in the universe without life existing). Or you may find meaning in helping or inspiring other people to enjoy their existence.