My life is over.

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(hugs autisticstar)

Tim

If you waste life, why wouldnt you waste death ?

Or.. you were

Hi again autisticstar, glad to hear from you again. Definitely, if you want to get involved, do it, get involved!

I've mentioned this book from time to time, can't express how much it helped me when I was very depressed: Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl. It's a small book divided in two parts. It's excellent, I go back to it from time to time.


If you want to read some reviews:
http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meani ... 0671023373

jeeze, im sorry you feel this way, indeed, being unfufilled is tough, lucky for you you have time left, i too am horrible at dating and wish I could manage, I too feel as far as that scene is concerned I am hopeless, but I guess some options are eather to keep trying or find something that makes you happy, whatever it is, for me its simple, being out in the wilderness, it can be something like that for you, or not. I too do not know what too do and it sounds like if we both could find someone to love then nothing else bad in life could matter. I wish I had advice, but I too am seeking answers, heh.

I hope you feel better tho!

I think I will check out the Victor Frankl book. Thanks woodman for your sympathy and to others who posted here as well. I woke up this morning feeling like I'm in a pit of darkness but there is just a little bit of light managing to see its way through. I think it's time to come up with some new dreams.

every word you wrote is so true

I know exactly how you feel. I feel worthless most of the time. I work so hard in college, and it's all so pointless, the profs have no respect for me and always put me down.

Sometimes all it takes to feel less depressed is a change of scene. I went to a party yesterday, and talked to some of the people there. The company was really good, and I was surprised that people seemed to like me, even though my grades and standardized test scores are not perfect. I was even more surprised to find out that many people aren't happy with certain aspect of their lives--be it their job, boss, or other things. Your "friends" don't sound like very good friends. If they were good friends, they would be supporting you instead of making you feel like a bad person for being depressed. Try to meet other people. Just be yourself--while it'll deter a lot of people, it will attract people who are like you, those that can relate to you in some way, and you'll feel better.

I am going through a difficult time right now, so I am probably not a good example. But at least I stopped thinking about suicide all the time like I used to do several weeks ago. Wrong planet saves my life time after the time. It always makes me feel less lonely and insane. And it's always there when I need it. WP is my best friend.

Autisticstar:

The world doesn't hate you. It hates everyone. You just notice it a little more than others.

Among other things, you said "I hate not being a young woman anymore." Well, mydear, I'm 65, and I don't miss being a young man anymore. Of course, I was never pretty (I imagine you probably were, and what's more, I imagine you probably still are). I never got invited anywhere, I never liked anyone, I was always angry (and we didn't have meds for it) and I couldn't get girls to take me seriously until after I got back from Vietnam, and then they did (I don't know why), but the point is that it all straightened out. I just sat back and watched.

We don't need someone else killing themselves. Identify three things you want (simple things) and try to get them. Then identify three more, and so on. Little successes. They help. I'm not minimizing the way you feel, 'cuse it probably really hurts, but the strength has to come from within yourself. And it's down there somewhere. I don't blame you for being angry about your situation....no, you didn't say that....I did, from reading what you wrote, but cheer up, because you get another chance tomorrow. When it comes right down to it, the only person you can control is yourself. And the rest of the world will do what the rest of the world will do. I'm not trying to be cold. But cyberhugs aren't worth much. Be nice to other people, but don't expect them to be nice to you. You're being nice, because you're a nice person, and that's how you are. It doesn't mean they're that way.

Hope this helped. Don't worry about being a young woman anymore. 37 isn't old. If I'd started younger, you could be my kid. You find that which you want to do and do it, and never mind what other people think.

Do something for me....no, do it for yourself, because you're needed. Go volunteer to help some of the Iraq vets coming back with PTSD. Not the men. The women. They have a higher failure rate. You get one girl who finally turns around to you and says, thank you, and I guarantee, it'll make your day. And it should. It's not easy, and you're going to have to listen to some terrible stuff, but all most people need (aside from professional help) is someone to talk to, someone who says to them, I don't care how bad it was. I want to hear it. I don't have answers, but I'll listen to you, and you can tell me anything. Yeah, serious therapy for PTSD is a professional thing, but the support that some of the young women need who are coming back from Iraq is first and formost, someone to learn to trust, someone who they can sit and cry in front of (same with the men), and with young women, it is usually better if it is a slightly older woman....and someone who has her own problems.....it takes trouble to understand trouble.

You can win. You will win. That's a spell. I'm a magician. You have no choice!

Cheers,
Btdt

Thanks again everyone who replied. I don't think that counseling is really the answer for me since I can't rewire my brain. I think I have just been feeling really crushed down because I tried so hard for so long to "be normal" and it just didn't work. I went over to a local organization that advocates for those with disabilities. I talked to someone and left my name and number and I haven't heard anything from them yet so I plan to call them this week if I don't hear anything yet. I went to find out if they have any volunteer opportunities there. Someone mentioned that an aspie needs something to do more than just big social gatherings, and that's certainly the case with me. I like to socialize with people I know but going to huge social gatherings is just plain hell to me. I went to a rare party last weekend and it was just a bunch of people milling around and eating and drinking. I just went to make my NT friend happy. I actually like watching documentary movies and a lot of people think that's weird, but too bad. . I think being my weird self is preferable to a lifetime of pretending. I figure I have two choices; I can either be weird and boring or weird and interesting. So, if I have to be weird, I at least want to be weird and interesting. . I can be weird and mean or weird and nice. As much as I dislike the sensation of lifting weights, I think my next project will be to take up weight training. I have heard that it really helps a lot in building confidence. So again thanks for being there in my moments of despair. I am still here and I will not let the forces of darkness win by giving up . I mentioned in a post in Random Discussion about giving a speech at a local public speaking group. It's a good outlet for me but I think I need a few other outlets as well.

you volunteer to do helpful things for other people.

this alone makes you a better person than 80% of the world's population.