23 Dec 2007, 8:22 am
Inventor wrote:
I see, people acting like people, well we can't have that, can we?
Getting two people to agree on a movie is hard, then when questioned after, you would swear they saw a different film.
Social lessons are fun, more so for Aspies!
I do not work out my expectations beforehand, and they do not live up to them.
None would agree on what did happen.
No one expresses themselves properly, and if they did, others would misunderstand,
It is the Human Condition.
You have a friend who is trying to help you, how would they feel if they found you had torn out your hair and jumped out a window?
It would make them feel bad. Being rude is never the answer.
Since you smell nice, more hugs.
Getting two people to agree on a movie is hard, then when questioned after, you would swear they saw a different film.
Social lessons are fun, more so for Aspies!
I do not work out my expectations beforehand, and they do not live up to them.
None would agree on what did happen.
No one expresses themselves properly, and if they did, others would misunderstand,
It is the Human Condition.
You have a friend who is trying to help you, how would they feel if they found you had torn out your hair and jumped out a window?
It would make them feel bad. Being rude is never the answer.
Since you smell nice, more hugs.
err, lol, [hugs back] thanks, you always make me feel better with your 'almost as true as facts' words @_@
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I like your scent. I really do. What is it?
i really don't know, but sometimes you can get away by putting too much shampoo in showers
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Ah, I see what you mean now. You've buried your own sense of self so far that you can't find your own properly?
hmm yeah, like that. but i think i do know who i am really, it's just that the conditions i'm living in right now isn't suitable for it to be exposed. and sometimes you're stuck, you just can't bring it out. ow well.
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Is the person you like a boyfriend of some kind? Tell me to get stuffed if I'm being nosy.
I know it's hard, and I'm a bastard for doing it but try not to plan things too much. Just remember that people are morons in their own world. They wouldn't have any interest in watching the Japanese film because it's weird and just doesn't occur to them. If you plan things like you do looking for failure you will fail and you will feel on edge. It's like trying to hold everything back. I still do that to some extent but then I think to myself: what can people do to me? Is Chop Chop Square around the corner? No. I'm not a social person by nature. I will interact with people outside my family when I feel the need to and when I desire it. I think I'm polite but reserved and very distant. It's all part of my nature, I guess.
Who was your ex-bully? Does she live locally? I don't 'do' parties. Don't feel the need to if you don't feel like it. I don't like parties at my house because I cannot find an adequate means of escape.
What was the film by the way? I might have seen it.
I know it's hard, and I'm a bastard for doing it but try not to plan things too much. Just remember that people are morons in their own world. They wouldn't have any interest in watching the Japanese film because it's weird and just doesn't occur to them. If you plan things like you do looking for failure you will fail and you will feel on edge. It's like trying to hold everything back. I still do that to some extent but then I think to myself: what can people do to me? Is Chop Chop Square around the corner? No. I'm not a social person by nature. I will interact with people outside my family when I feel the need to and when I desire it. I think I'm polite but reserved and very distant. It's all part of my nature, I guess.
Who was your ex-bully? Does she live locally? I don't 'do' parties. Don't feel the need to if you don't feel like it. I don't like parties at my house because I cannot find an adequate means of escape.
What was the film by the way? I might have seen it.
oh noes, i'd be glad to talk about it. nah, i've never seen him as a bf or anything like that. despite being aspie i guess i have attracted some people but i don't like it when they 'advance' to me cos a) they don't really have anything in them that i like and b) i don't want to disappoint them. so i start collecting 'signs' that a person gives off if he likes me, and classify em as 'Harmful' and reject them straight away as soon as i can sense them. this guy that was mentioned is one of my closest mates but i thought i could sense those 'signs' and i panicked immedietely. i was also upset, because i thought we'd be mates forever cos i don't really judge people by their sexes. i told this to a friend of mine who knows i'm aspie and she asked me 'well do you like him?' so i got confused, and said 'err maybe'. but after alot of thinking about it, i decided that i really can't see him as a bf. meh, there were some complicacy going on after that but i did several experiments and now am overall happy that he may not see me in that way. but when somebody mentioned his name yesterday, i got pretty upset. right, i'm boring you now -_-
i dunno, i thought something different would make them happy. the film's interesting anyway, and since i thought my friends are quite intellectual people, they'd like it. it's Casshern btw =]
but that's it, i hate parties but i thought i'd hold one up as a challenge. okay it turned out that i'm wrong :S it went disastrous - at least, for me because they kept telling me it was fine - and there are so many parts in it that i got totally lost. five people want different things and i'm leik, why can't we just follow the normal menu and what we've planned before bout what we're going to do? :S normally if i'm in that situation i'd run away to somewhere quiet and shut my eyes tightly and take deep breaths. but i couldn't escape yesterday, i gotta serve them and nobody's helping me etc and that tension basically built up until i felt like slapping and hitting everyone. thinking about it now, i was a pretty scary person yesterday, wanting to do violence and all that although i've sworn to myself never to do that 0.0 anyways yeah i resorted to one last relief, which is what all girls do =] i went to the toilet and gave myself a good cry
but i'll try and do what you suggested. it'll need a lot of practise tho.
well the weird thing about my ex-bullies is they're all psychological bullies who in turn suffer from physical diseases. and because of that i couldn't do anything because it would be wrong. one of them lives in my area, yes, but i'd thought she'd changed. but she's still the same, as i have found out yesterday. the weird thing is she wants to be a child psychologist, and i'm leik......'good luck' 0.0
23 Dec 2007, 12:56 pm
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i really don't know, but sometimes you can get away by putting too much shampoo in showers
That's true. You don't use perfume then?
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hmm yeah, like that. but i think i do know who i am really, it's just that the conditions i'm living in right now isn't suitable for it to be exposed. and sometimes you're stuck, you just can't bring it out. ow well.
Ah, now that sounds more like it. You feel your true identity is being suppressed.
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oh noes, i'd be glad to talk about it.
Nice to know I'm not encroaching on anyone's space.
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nah, i've never seen him as a bf or anything like that. despite being aspie i guess i have attracted some people but i don't like it when they 'advance' to me cos a) they don't really have anything in them that i like and b) i don't want to disappoint them. so i start collecting 'signs' that a person gives off if he likes me, and classify em as 'Harmful' and reject them straight away as soon as i can sense them. this guy that was mentioned is one of my closest mates but i thought i could sense those 'signs' and i panicked immedietely. i was also upset, because i thought we'd be mates forever cos i don't really judge people by their sexes. i told this to a friend of mine who knows i'm aspie and she asked me 'well do you like him?' so i got confused, and said 'err maybe'. but after alot of thinking about it, i decided that i really can't see him as a bf. meh, there were some complicacy going on after that but i did several experiments and now am overall happy that he may not see me in that way. but when somebody mentioned his name yesterday, i got pretty upset. right, i'm boring you now -_-
No, no, no! Not at all. If you like him, go with what your desires say. Wait until you're out of your environment if needs be. Any relationship would probably be hampered by how you're feeling, and a needy person probably isn't much fun to be around.
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i dunno, i thought something different would make them happy. the film's interesting anyway, and since i thought my friends are quite intellectual people, they'd like it. it's Casshern btw =]
I've heard of Casshern but I've never seen it. One on my many 'films to watch' list.
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but that's it, i hate parties but i thought i'd hold one up as a challenge.
For challenge you may read 'endurance test'. You've gone further than I would have done - I don't even really like attending parties, never mind hosting them on my own turf. You did the best you could in what was for you a very difficult and tense situation. You threw yourself into the figurative hot oil so it's no wonder you floundered.
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it went disastrous - at least, for me because they kept telling me it was fine - and there are so many parts in it that i got totally lost. five people want different things and i'm leik, why can't we just follow the normal menu and what we've planned before bout what we're going to do? :S normally if i'm in that situation i'd run away to somewhere quiet and shut my eyes tightly and take deep breaths. but i couldn't escape yesterday, i gotta serve them and nobody's helping me etc and that tension basically built up until i felt like slapping and hitting everyone. thinking about it now, i was a pretty scary person yesterday, wanting to do violence and all that although i've sworn to myself never to do that 0.0 anyways yeah i resorted to one last relief, which is what all girls do =] i went to the toilet and gave myself a good cry
That's no party and no fun for anyone. People are a pain in the neck at the best of times. You went much too far out of your comfort zone and had a nasty shock in so doing.
I feel for you.
Anyway, Christmas is nearly upon us. Try and have a good time/drown your sorrows if you can. If you'd like to talk in more depth there's a PM button underneath.
24 Dec 2007, 6:42 pm
24 Dec 2007, 7:18 pm
everyone has their own way to deal with it. I try to be really nice, and funny, so people will like me. I also use it to keep them at a certain distance. Since I'm 'funny', the 'weird' part just gets glossed over. Don't know if I've fooled anyone, but I've been trying.
Don't feel bad about parties; I threw one in 8th grade (well, a few decades ago), 60 people showed up, 59 got 'lucky'...guess who didn't...
Even NTs (or XPs or Vistas) get nervous about things like this. If you live long enough, you get some perspective. We're here to help, and hopefully most of us understand. Hang in there.
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