Thanx all for the replys....
I am going to tell that therapist I'm going to see when I get out of hospital about this. I don't know if it will help, atleast it's not my secret anymore, it's not something I keep to myself anymore and somehow it feels a little bit better not being the only one knowing about it. I've not told my mom or any family member, and I don't think I'm ever going to eighter, but atleast I've told a couple of people, like one of my friends and here at the internet too.
Thanx for the support.