Alternative's First Suicide Attempt

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Was it painful? I wish I could die painlessly...

Yeah. It was a cry for help to begin with.

No, not really. I didn't take enough.

It was a cry for help. If I wanted to kill myself, I would've thrown myself in front of a train. I live a 2 minute walk away from the train station.

I know it was wrong and pointless, but to be honest. All actions consequences. I know that. But my sub-conscious inside DOESN'T. It's as if I have some sort of personality disorder that has driven me to such blind, sub-conscious persistance of suicide, and breaking computers etc.

i have no advice, but i do care

but that probably sounds pointless unless you remember talking to me, which is unlikely

When I was 17 I took 41 500mg Paracetamol. I was just very sick for a day - think I was lucky as I didnt tell anyone (my parents assumed it was food poisoning) and I didnt go to hospital or anything. Have heard that only 20 can kill you so I think I was lucky (although in hindsight, it kills you so much later that it is really no good for a suicide attempt).

After the overdose I felt a lot better just for having tried it - even though nothing had changed because I hadnt told anyone about it. When my parents did find out later that I was depressed and I started getting help, just the fact of having help helped me to a certain extent, although I needed antidepressants and hospitalisation to really get over the depression.

I hope that things get better for you. My antidepressant of choice is Effexor - it seemed to work on me after a while and had no side effects apart from initial nausea. Also take some fish oil tablets - they seem to be helpful in reducing/preventing depression as they provide fatty acids that the brain needs to make certain chemicals, including those that might be lacking in a depressed brain.

My activity of choice is to go for a walk alone in a beautiful place - it allows you to think and sort things out without the distraction of people whilst at the same time giving you exercise, stress relief and a reason to live (if only for the beauty of nature).

You needed to search the Internet for that answer? I always thought that was the most obvious answer, but also one of the worst ones. There are better ways to "off" yourself, ones that don't leave such a horrible mess behind for your family to get stuck cleaning up.

But I agree with you on your opinion of suicide. It's our life, and its our decision -- some of the greatest minds that have ever existed took their own lives in the end. It is certainly comforting in our times of great sadness to know that we do hold our own life in our hands, knowing that there's a way out if one hits absolute rock bottom.

When I told my mom I was suicidial a year ago, the first thing she said was that she didn't think I was compatent enough to think of such a thing...it didn't help.
I wish I had the guts to just go through with it.

After reading some of the posts, I also searched for suicide methods. Shotgun is not a sure thing. In one case a guy went to his barn with a shotgun, shot himself in the head, had to go back to the house to reload and tried again in the barn. The second time was successful. I guess the pain inside was a lot worse than the pain outside.

I hope you're getting the help you need, Alternative.

Gasoline and a lighter seems to work with the avatar, but don't take my advice. Suicide, while a personal choice, is nothing but weakness. Living is hard and takes work. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can begin to live.