I Don't Want To Play

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Yeah if another guy did that to me, I am a feeling my dad would understand him! I am still not saying that my dad is a lecher. But when I tell my dad that I don't like guys staring at me, I don't like to be hit on, I don't like attention at all. And all he does is smile and says "Well you're beautiful." But he thinks that should make it alright or something. My parents keep wanting me to wear a different coat, because I choose to wear a raggity coat I fondly call the "hobo coat." I tell them wearing it makes me feel more comfortable, and like no one is going to really stare at me. But my dad doesn't care with the explaination, he thinks I should just look beautiful even though he knows that the result is feeling of dread for me. Or he doesn't believe what I say about my feelings. I think the latter is true more.

I don't think he was being over sexual or anything. I think he was just treating me like a little girl. He still wants to pat my head! and that happened after I told him I don't like to be touched to explain one of the reasons why I first thought I had AS. Its like I am his pet or something. But this whole situation really sucks, I was really getting along with him, we were talking for once, he was giving me school and career advice. My mom was saying before he did that whole thing about how proud of me he was. Now he won't speak to me. Bleh. I have no idea how to have a talk with him about boundaries. But it is kind of hard when the other party doesn't believe in your own emotions.

I would write him a 3 paragraph letter.

1. Explain how much you value your relationship and his advice, etc... how much it means to you. That will make him feel good.
2. Then explain how you don't like being touched, not just by him but by anyone. Stress that it's not just him.
3. Then reiterate how you feel sad about not having his support and how much you value it.

Hopefully he would think about and reflect. Some people just can't understand, for whatever reason.

Thank you this is most helpful. I wrote him a long letter before, that didn't impact as much, but if I do it again he might think more on it.

Continuing one of the worst weekever, one point my mom kept playing out was that my dad fixed my car, I know he didn't but they reacted as if replacing a few sparkplugs was good enough for me to be forever in debt to them. My car was still not functioning right, and to prove my point on the most socially painful awkward days of all days today, my car died on me while I was in a town away from home. About 15 miles away from home to be exact, but it was six in the evening to pretty much all car repair places were closed. I naive enough thought to call my parents to tell them of the predicament. Pretty much this was the conversation:

"Hey dad, my car brokedown, it just won't start."

"Oh really," My dad said dryly.

"I told you to plug in your car." My mom interrupted as she picked up the line.

"Yeah I did." I lied since it was only 20 degrees at night now and a car only should be plugged in a negative 10 degrees.

"Well I am just going to let your father deal with you." She hungs up.

"So what are you going to do about it?" My dad finally said.

And then I realized that because of this whole thing, he wasn't going to help me at all. He wasn't going to pick me up or check on me or help me at all. It all was very sobering.

So I said, "Well I guess I will get someone to tow it to a repair shop. I will be late coming home. Bye."

Today I realized that I can no longer rely on them for anything. If I could I will move out tomorrow, but I can't but I have to shut off most ties to them. It is just crushing that they won't help when they could. That they don't seem worried or anything. As if they aren't going to help me out of spite. That they want me to squirm with myself while they wait for me to come crawling back to them repenting my rebellious sins of independence and self respect to beg them to tell me my life and my wrongs. My mom keeps saying that I should live on my own to know respect them and what they are doing now. As if living by myself is a punishinment instead of a freedom. As if I lack the basic reasoning to decide for myself with anything.

For all they knew I was alone today, with no one else for help as if I couldn't figure out things for myself. As if I were to be homeless in night. Luckily throughout this whole day my boyfriend was with me. We walked to his apartment and proceeded to make dinner and watch a movie. Then a coworker on his way home was able to drop me off at my house.

I don't care about the whole situation with the car, or the people or the running out of money today. It is just shocking on how suddenly everything can change over such pettyness.