Well, something different did happen today. With classes back in session, the friends that are usually too far away are back in the area. We plan on meeting for pencil and paper RPG's every Saturday until the semester's over.
It was rather odd though. Although I was physically there, interacted with them, and made no insults to myself (hey, it doesn't happen all the time), I felt very...distant from them.
They know I'm an Aspie, and they have witnessed my lack of self-esteem quite often. However, it felt like I wasn't on the same wavelength with them this time. Half-way through today's get-together to determine which games to play, I just got detached and started reading a book I brought while the rest spent most of their time looking at TV Tropes.
I don't know if it's because I'm depressed, guarded, or just disinterested in the games most want to play (the most involved players love World of Darkness, which I loathe). There were a couple times where I felt I couldn't really be myself. Not to mention I'm getting frustrated by one's insistence that I participate when most of the time I'd be content just listening to them play.
So I'm planning to see them all once a week, but the fact that I was so detached today concerns me a bit.
23 Jan 2009, 1:45 pm
