I need help, advice , direction. HELP!! !! !! !! !! !! !!

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Psygirl6 and glider18 you both gave me excellent advice!! ! Infact your advice was so good I'm saving this post to refer back to when I need to remind myself.

you both helped me realize I don't need to be normal. Its ok to be me! I can be me forever and its ok!

It's ok that I'm on disability its not my fault and I'm not doing anything wrong. If people don't approve well that's there problem not mine.


You both helped me see that I don't need to seek the approval of people around me . Instead I'll be around people who approve of me already.

You both helped me a lot with your post's! thank you so much!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

You are welcome just-me. We are all here for each other. I have posted on The Haven several times in need of help for me---and I have always felt better after doing so.

Hi Just me,
You are very welcome. I am glad we can help you. I love this site. I am right now on disability, but because I am on disability, I got financial aid for school in September, so I can get a job in the medical field becoming a histo-techinician(studying tissues and of the body). I am now getting my own apartment that is subsidized(that is how I am leaving the group home). I have to rely on disability, which I hate because I rather earn my money which makes me feel very proud. I do not want to rely on it forever, so I found ways that I can use the resources they give me while being on it, and use the resources to make myself have a successful life. I do not want to be on it for ever, so I say the faster I get the services, the faster i would get off. Be on it for a couple of years, and utilize services right away, as opposed to wait forever. Unfortunately, I was receiving the wrong services, which would make me be on it forever(and my mother had major influence). But now that I am 30, no longer needing medications, and got mom off my back, I turned everything in my life around, and getting the right services.Like section 8 apartment and be independent rather than group home, or financial aid and go to school to get a career and get off disability, rather than a day program, where there are no jobs and where they 'make" sure your on disability for life.
That is how I am doing it. I am not sure how you would, but if you could, I would go for it. If your not ready, that is okay, too. Some people are different, they maybe ready right away, they may not. Go with your gut. Do not listen to anybody tell you different. You have to do what is the best for you. You know yourself only, not some doctors, or parents or any one. Just you. Be yourself. We are all great in our own way. And that is the beuty of being humans, especially with Asperger's.

Feathers? never experienced something like that. Similr when I put on a shirt with a tag on it. it scratches my neck just a little bit, then I am agitated and it feels like there is grass all over my back and my back itches...

commuincating.... I still have my hang ups and difficulties. I thought about joining a toastmasters to better my ability of speaking and communicating, it has been over 4 years now and have not done it yet. Major procrastination.

I am taking it one small step at a time. Writing a lot and writing consistently does help with the ability to communicate.... does not help with talking directly but it does help with some organization with your manner of speech....

I am far from normal, never will be normal, yet I am normal, to my self... this is how I am and what I am accustomed to be... I will not go further but this 'what is normal' has been something that has agitated me for years.

I used to be more concerned about how others thought of me, and the sorts... I am still working at this but have come a long ways...

I remember this and it helps me;
It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not...
be true to yourself...