Developing a Thicker Skin

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Sometimes in social situations people mock each other because it's fun and relatively innocuous, however they're often good friends so it's taken as normal. Outside of that, it's a bit unfair and crosses a line, I think.

Do you see any professionals or some such that you talk to about this? In an ideal situation what would you do to change it?

That's a shame.

I went to college with someone who had particular views about women, he got some flack for it, but took it in good spirit as we were never malicious about it.

Really I do...

Yeah, it's happened to me. Just get away from the obnoxious people, it's not ideal but really the only reliable way to deal with them.

i have a friend called sonia who is hyper sensitive to any attitude about her.
she is diagnosed as bi-polar, but i think she is borderline personality disorder. she sees things as "black or white" (not visually) among many other things.

but apart from that (which is irrelevant i guess), she is exceptionally easily hurt and even enraged at how she perceives others attitudes and opinions toward her.

today she rang up grizzling about how she went to see her doctor who she gets on well with, but his receptionist was rude to her (in her opinion).

sonia: i saw the look on her face as soon as i walked in the door. she thought i was a loser and she was VERY unfriendly to me!!.

me: did you look shabbily dressed?

sonia: what?!?!? i always dress nicely mark!! ! you know that!! !.

me: well did you look haggard and tired then?

sonia: what are you getting at mark? are you saying i'm ugly?!?!

me: no i just wondered if you had had a late night or something and....

sonia: oh so you think i often look tired huh?!?!? bags under my f*cking eyes huh? like a feral f*cking banshee (an australian mythical creature) ?!?!?

me: no i was trying to work out why the receptionist was like that to you.

sonia: why do you do this to me mark?!? why are you never on my side?!?!? i f*ckin told you what happened and you're trying to validate her reactions!! !! !.

me: unless she was insane, then i can not understand why she took exception....

sonia: oh! so i'm the insane one huh?!?!?

me: she is not allowed to treat you differently than any other....

sonia: aaahhh you got that right!! !

me: therefore if she saw you in any other way than as a normal person, then she has head problems because you look nice, and if you looked and acted the way you usually do, then she is the one at fault.

sonia: yes she's a b***h!! !

me: so why bother worrying about what she thinks?.

sonia: because it....it....it....hurts so much...boo hooo hooo

(she dissolved into a crying fit)

me: have you got your medication and have you taken it?

sonia: oh god!! !! then she screamed and what she said to me was distorted over the phone and then she hung up. she did not ring back. i will hear from again though. ho hum.
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i am not saying that you sound like her, but i am puzzled at how someone can be affected by another persons mere thoughts.

on occasions, sonia comes to my house and we talk, and she generally feels relieved (she says) after a while of being with me because i am the opposite to her in the emotional sensitivity sense. she sometimes starts to think the way i do about external opinions after a few hours with me.

but she always goes back to caring what others think after she leaves.

i would like to learn from her how to be more affected by peoples opinions. i do not see her as worse off than me.
when she is elated about someones thoughts about her, she feels a feeling that is more powerful and pretty than ever my mind could feel.

she cares too much and i care too little, and i try to tell her why not to care, and she tries to tell me why to care, and we benefit from each others company, but we are genetically who we are and she goes back to fully caring, and i go back to fully not caring after a few hours from her departure from my home.

the following will not help you i think because you have neurons that are wired into a "caring" module that can not be undone by words of others.

i am resistant to others opinions and attitudes to me because they do not apply to what i care about.

whatever appraisal they have about me is totally in their own heads. the electrical impulses that buzz through their brains are too faint to affect my own feelings.

i can hear what they say and know what it means, but i can not internalize it as valid.

they are like animals who make animal noises. if i walk through the zoo and a flock of gibbons all start shrieking and freaking about some aspect of me, i find it noteworthy, but i do not agonize over the reason they all got stirred up.

humans are just advanced apes and they are programmed for "reproduction" in priority over "intellectuality".

"intellect" is just a specialized tool that humans use for survival like long giraffe necks aid giraffes. they enjoy a niche zone. reproductive "instincts" are much more dominant in the direction of an animals behavior than their tools they use to survive.

i classify humans as animals like any other animal, and if a gaggle of geese is freaked out by me scratching my head then i do not feel sorry or wrong.

this is drivel i suspect as i am cloudy of head at the moment (i am not intoxicated, but i feel rather deeply autistic tonight)

whatever i will post it anyway

I don't know if it will help you but i think you should read about projection. When some insults you for having no life, they are doing so because they have no life and they cannot cope with the emotions involved with it. They project the attributes onto you and dump their emotion load onto you as well. When i am insulted i always try to figure out why said person is insulting me, and then answer is usually so hilariously funny that i really couldn't care less that i've just been insulted.