Should I?

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Heh, yeah, I could really use a friend.

Ever since I graduated high school I've pretty much done nothing except get up early for work then look for something to do for the rest of the day. I did all sorts of different stuff, I went skiing alot in the winter, bike riding and what not, it just gets boring doing everything alone. I have friends but all they're interested in is marijuana.

I never learned to ride a bicycle. I've never skiied either. I had a chance to go skiing in the Swiss Alps when me and my classmates went to Europe on a school trip, but I was too scared! But I had fun walking around the town of Interlaken with my friend who didn't want to go skiing because she found it too expensive. We found a shop that sold just knives, and there was this Swiss Army knife with over 80 extensions that they were selling that was advertised on a board outside the shop. I should have gotten it. Anyway, a lot happened in Interlaken. Some guys in my school group (there were 70 students from my school and 15 from another school going on the trip together, and 5 teachers chaperoning the 85 or so students) walked out of a bar to have their drinks outside and were accused of stealing the glasses. Thern 2 guys (at least 2) got into a physical fight and this lady who worked in the bar was so angry she was pounding her fist on the glass countertop and shattered the glass. Then some guys from my group found a car, and started kicking it, then they opened it up; it was open, and took something from it, and then the car's owner came along and threatened them with a machete. The cops were called, and we saw them at the hotel the next morning. The same night all that happened, the students upstairs (also in my group) in the room directly over my room were jumping up and down and shaking the whole building, and this heavy mirror that was hanging on the wall in our room almost came off the wall. The hotel's owner, a friend of our main chaperone (our main chaperone was the guidance counselor at my school) said he didn't want us in his hotel, after decades of letting our guidance counselor's group stay there. (Our guidance counselor had been taking the 11th-graders at his school to Europe for 21 or 22 years). He said we were the worst group he had ever had. That's not the first time I was in the worst group ever. Once in sailing camp my instructor said to my group that we were the worst bunch of sailors he had ever seen. Before that, my 6th-grade teacher said that my class was the worst class she had ever had, and she'd been teaching for years and years. I think there's something about people born in 1986, 87, 88, 89, 90... mostly 88; most of the people in my year were born in 1988, including me. I was also in one or two other "worst" groups but I forget when. Anyway, I'm getting really tangenty.


I tried pot 4 times and didn't really like it. Once it made me laugh and laugh, but I didn't find anything funny. I was talking about something that I didn't find funny, and suddenly I started laughing and couldn't stop, and that went on for a while. I also felt disassociated. And I wasn't laughing; it was just my voice box and my mouth that were laughing. Know what I mean?


Oh, and I'm thinking of going back on antidepressants... right now I don't know if I need them, but my mood will probably go down again and I'll probably need them. What anti-d's are you on? I was on Celexa. It worked for 7 months, but the 2nd and 3rd times I was on it I don't know if it worked. I was also on Prozac, but I don't know if that worked either.

Last edited by Ana54 on 24 May 2009, 8:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yeah i know what you mean, it just made me laugh alot even though nothing was funny.

i tried it, i didn't care for it, I guess it doesn't mix with risperidone because it made me feel like crap. One time I had a terrible trip off it, my eyes were rolling, I was really dizzy, I was walking in the street into oncoming traffic.. I was shaking violently, had difficulty breathing, no sense of reality. After that I just decided that weed just isn't for me. One of the worst experiences of my life by far, and I'll say that again even when I'm 60. My job drug tests, anyways.

I'm pretty much open to doing anything friends want to do (except eating at resturants, my eating habits are so poor and i'm terrified of trying new foods) the only problem is absolutely none of my friends want to do anything. If they do want to do something, it's consume alcohol or take drugs. Neither of which I care to do...

He ha; I love eating at restaurants... I go to the same place and get the same thing most of the time when I go out though... souvlaki! It's delicious and it's healthy! Not that healthy and delicious are synonymous... I believe in people's cravings.


I haven't done any other illegal drugs; just pot. Though I want to try stimulants. Even Ritalin, Adderall, Strattera... good enough for me!


And I edited this into my post but you had already read and replied to my post by then, so I'll post it again:

dang, sorry i had missed that part

uh, right now I'm on 10 mg of lexapro and 1 mg of risperdal. I've been on that for practically 1 1/2 years and it's worked great for me. I can't really get my hands on risperdal anymore so I'm just gonna slowly stop taking it and see how that works for me. I lost health insurance because I turned 19 and fedex doesn't really care about us part-timers, so it'd basically be like 400$ a month just for all my medicene.

My old psychiatrist is gonna help me out with some lexapro samples, though.

I had been on so many different anti-depressants it wasn't even funny... Nothing worked for me at all except lexapro. It's kept my mood stable for over a year. I haven't cried since june.

I wish my eating habits were better... I just have a strangest phobia of eating new foods... it's really socially crippling, especially if I were to ever pursue love I could never really eat outside the realms of fast food and pizza.. It's kinda upsetting, especially since I can't seem to get over that fear.

I pretty much eat nothing but pizza everyday. I eat other things... I love pancakes, french fries, ooooh, that sounds healthy right? I'm no where near fat, somehow, I can't explain it. I eat nothing but garbage.

I'm gonna turn 27 one day and my metabolism will be non-existant. I'll be screwed.

I've been on 2 anti-d's (Celexa and Prozac) and 7 antipsychotics-- Seroquel, Haldol, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Risperdal, and loxapine. I've taken a few Ativans too. I was on about $700 worth of Abilify the second time I was on it, and at the same time about $30 worth of Celexa, then when my dose was increased about $45 worth of Celexa. Even though generic Celexa goes for $4 at Walmart and Kroger. I was on 4 mg of Risperdal. I was perfectly content to stay in bed all day.


I love your signature, by the way!

lexapro should be fairly cheap; I hope anyways. I know risperdal is expensive and hard to get. =/ I was on ability for a while (made me sleepy as hell) invega (worked great but they stopped making it) Geodon (i couldnt stay awake for the life of me) risperdal (still take) seroquel (didn't do anything) lamictal (didn't do anything) lol, I've been on so much medicene it's ridiculous. Just glad I finally found one that works.

My boyfriend, a member of WP, is on Lamictal and loves it. I was on Seroquel and it made me sleep for like 12 hours... then it made me psychotic a bit. I was walking down the street with my mother in Edmonton and I thought to myself, "I should go back to my apartment now." I thought I lived in an apartment by myself on Jasper Avenue. Really, I lived in a tiny room at the YMCA on 102A Ave. with my mother. Lexapro is more expensive than Celexa. A lot of people are prescribed Lexapro, but their insurance won't cover it, so then they get prescribed Celexa. Geodon made me sleep too. And it sucked that I had to eat a meal when I took my Geodon, because often I wasn't hungry. And I was pregnant, and the Geodon gave me this funny feeling in my uterus like it was contracting, but I think that was mild akathisia. Some days I forgot if I had taken my meds or not, so my shrink at the time gave me a pill box with little compartments for Monday thru Sunday in the morning and Monday thru Sunday at night. I used it, but it made me accidentally take my night meds in the morning, and then I would be passed out all day. So I stopped using the pill box. I still forgot to take my Geodon though, so I took the bottle of Geodon, put an elastic band around it, threaded a string through it and wore it around my neck. My boyfriend saw it and said that I didn't have to wear my pills; he would remind me to take them. Risperdal made me so tired and indifferent that I didn't even get up to feed or change or talk to or walk around with or play with my baby. Luckily my boyfriend was there.

Geodon really screwed with me. I was forced to take it because I had attempted suicide and they felt I needed a switch in medicene... man... when I took one in the morning it just killed me... and I had a shift of 2pm-midnight at the movie theater. I literally couldn't keep my eyes open and they refused to send me home because someone else already went home sick. I couldn't do anything, I don't know how I made it through that day, it was really pathetic. I'll never take geodon again.

Seroquel is a tranquilizer I guess, it puts everyone to sleep. That's all it really did for me, and since sleep wasn't really a problem for me at the time I didn't really need it.. it was a problem for me though when I got off fluoxetine... I had such hell trying to get to sleep... it just wasn't doable for me. Not to mention fluoxetine made me somewhat psycho, made me start cutting (i stopped that within 3 weeks, that crap is just a social stigma and did nothing for me)

I'm kinda worried because a strong side effect of getting off risperdal is not being able to sleep... I'm slowly cutting down my dose to .5 mg a night until I run out (2 weeks) I really hope nothing goes wrong because I badly need my sleep, I generally start work around 2am..

I was on fluoxetine too. For like 4 months. Don't know if it did anything for me. The second time I tried it tho, when I wasn't being prescribed an AD but wanted one, it made me giddy fr 2 or 3 days, but not in as... fun a way as Celexa did. The Prozac acted more like Abilify, just making me more motivated and such.

Fluoxetine was by far the worst of all the medicenes I took. It made me worse a great deal. Doctor upped my dose too when I told him all this stuff.

I want something like Pristiq, Effexor, Cymbalta, or Wellbutrin. Yesterday I was actually cocky enough to say I might not need an antidepressant.

I heard it has really, really unpleasent withdrawl symptoms. It's like the only one I've never taken.

Yeah, it's the best one to be on and the worst one to go off. But it's good for people who forget to take their meds, because within 5 hours of missing a dose, YOU WILL KNOW.


Anyway...


Today my boyfriend called me incoherent when I called him scum and a piece of s**t for stabbing me in the back (see my thread about him suing me). I wasn't incoherent. It was perfectly clear what I was talking about. He just didn't like what I was saying, so he called me incoherent.


I need, but don't have, someone who will stick by me n matter what, a person who never gets to the point where they say, "f**k you; you're on your own." And who wn't rat on me if I break the rules or the law, who would instead put me before other people.


Well, my mother said that she would only rat on me if it was dangerous for someone not to because she is legally obligated to and would get in trouble herself if she didn't. I hope she means that she would do that because she would be unable to help me if she was arrested.