Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear dragons,

I'm rather glad that y'all had your time of fun, but your youth caused you far too many problems. Perhaps you should've learned better of our wisdom, afore you went off and began trying to change things.

EW

Dear self,


Stop being a dumbass. You did bad things last night abd you deserve to go to hell, if it exists. You're a bad person and deserve all your misery.

-Sophie

Dear Cockney,

No! Spike the hair! And post a picture. I spike my hair, and it took my parents a year or so to realize that's the way it was meant to be because that's the way I like it! I have dyed my hair blue and purple, but what I've found is bleaching it, and then using colored hair gel in MANY DIFFERENT COLORS works better. So one day I had blue hair, the next I had purple, or orange, or red, or green, or rainbow. Now, though, I just leave my hair alone and get it cut once every six weeks. But don't wuit spiking the hair!

But I like blue. Why not do both?

Dear "Brother",

Keep your petty BS up,and I'll give EVERYONE your myspace password...I already gave the link so my friends can spam your ass.

-SpaceCase

Dear mum,

I'll still be going out with my friends in the evenings, reguardless of wether I'm sick, or not. I'll be at home, resting during the day time, all this week.

Cockney

Dear Family,

I'm sorry I didn't turn out well. I'm not the good person you wished for. Mom, I'm sorry I get bad grades, and I'm sorry that I never hug you and tell you I love you.
Dad, I'm sorry I will turn into an alcoholic like you, and your parents, when they were alive. I'm sorry I steal your Xanax and Vicodin and alcohol.
Tanya, I'm sorry for being an awful sister to you. I love you so much, and I know I sadden you so much with my suicide and drug abuse.
I'm sorry.

Sophie

To All the Snobby Mum's at my son's school,

I am sick the snide comments I get about my son's behaviour. How can you be nasty to a 7 year old?

You're probably just jealous because my son is so much smarter than your kids.

Please tell me that isn't a suicide note. All of us on WP would be very sad if you weren't kidding about that. I am not very good at finding the right words for this but I wish that whatever it is that makes you feel this way would go away.

Don't worry, it's not a suicide note. Might be someday, but not now. I just feel bad for not being a good kid. Thank you for replying.

Gosh, I thought it meant you had already died a few times.
Was curious to see if it worked as well for you, as it does for
me.

Dear Nathan dickwad

I hope you're proud of the two year physical bullying you gave me. Man, what a freaking legend. A boy bashing up a girl with aspergers.

I hate you and I hope you die in a car crash. I would prefer to humiliate you in public though.

Love

Fiona. 1994 and 1995

To all the boys on the school bus who called me a Cockney,

Thankyou for noticing my most positive trait.

Shelby (1983-1984)

Given the chance, I'd help you get revenge on him.

Dear, Aaron,

Thanks for being my best friend in primary school. I still have no idea how me and you came to be best mates what with you being such a social kind of chap and me being known by all as a loner, but you were brilliant. I think I love you.

- Benji

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To whom it may concern (a.k.a anyone who makes negative comments about my appearance as if I give a s**t),

I'm not sorry that I don't conform to what you think I should look like. I prefer having short hair, I like dying it, and you can sod off and mind your own business. Believe it or not, you don't look so spiffy either. All the punks I know are much more open minded than you lot, and a lot more intelligent than a lot of you, as well, so stop judging me and the rest of us by our appearance. I like my septum piercing, I enjoy the whole culture behind different piercings and I enjoy the overall experience of getting them done (same with tattoos) - you might not like it but I don't comment on how boring I think you look, do I? No - because I don't care. You're you and I'm me. End of.

By the way septum piercings were warrior's piercings in tribes. So back off, or I'll spear you!

I don't have to justify myself to you so I'll end this here.

To all those cool old ladies who who think colourful hairstyles are great, I salute you!

- Benji

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To anyone who ever bullied me,

Funnily enough I can't actually remember much about you apart from your nasty streak. You obviously had no personality. Sucks to be you. Especially the stupid cow who needed two friends behind her just to come up and stab me in the back with a pencil. Seriously, that's very brave.

- Benji.

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To anyone who's corrected the way I speak...

I have a Cockney accent, end of. Leave me alone, for crying out loud. What's it to do with you how I speak? I'm proud to come from the East End with an East End family, I'm happy to talk as I do, and I do know the correct pronunciation of most words so repeating them after I've said them isn't going to make me change my accent.

It's patronising, and petty, and pointless.

- Benji




This thread's fun. And quite cathartic.

Dear Texas A&M,

Thanks for looking at my application. Unlike higher-ranked schools, your language was coarse and unprofessional. Where other schools said there were more competitive applicants, you told me I was not competitive. I was a bit hurt by this.

At the same time, though you rejected me, I likely would have rejected you. Your program isn't very competitive. The coarse language you use in rejection letters is proof enough of that.

-shadexiii