scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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7.

2 Thanks samtoo. Went to support group and feeling a little better now.

sick and oh so tired of social mental gymnastics. It all takes so much energy for precious little return 3

MissConstrue: Good. I hope your mood stays in a higher place and gets better still.

I send a hug your way, Albatross26.
*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG*

Miss construe,
I feel your pain.
In August I had to put down my best friend (black lab) of 11 years. I knew it was coming for quite a while and had plenty of time to understand that I had to do it in a way that I'd rather not have.
Exactly one month before, I went on vacation, to the house of my friend of 27 years- who incidentally, heroically, gave me this dog as an 8 week old pup. (Long touching story there).
I came back from vacation so angry and distraught that I did not answer her calls from the moment I left her house. She quit calling.
I thought about what had happened for a whole month and a half. I didn't want to be wrong when I finally found the words to address this with her.
I was absolutely confounded as to her behavior on my trip. I finally concluded that I must have given her permission to walk on me that she had been so intolerable. I wrote the letter. At this point I was prepared to say "so be it" If this is the end of our friendship.
It took me over a week to open her letter that I hadn't expected beyond a week later (I'm glad she took the time to think long before sending it.)

I read the last lines first. "As you have chosen this course of non-communication, you should continue it.. (So be it.)
I finally read (a week later) ----the rest of the letter. I apparently had kicked things off to a bad start. Then we had a miscommunication on me understanding that she would be having clients at the house ( I was not upset about that, I was upset that she was pushing the 'project' that I was going to do until the day before I left.) Somehow she wanted to fit in between- a 4 hour (each way) drive to New Orleans (I was to leave Sun AM -we were to return Sat 1:pm- delayed until 5 pm Sat), Long story short, in few words, she wrote how my actions early in the trip had set her off on a course.....and I can not dispute it looking at it from her point of view.

This is the impetus that caused me to look further into this AS thing and realise that HERE is the marker for how far off-base I am in the NT world. It NEVER crossed my mind that 'me' reacting to broken time expectations, onset menapause (sweating like a fountain), 105 degrees after a 6 hour trip with 2 black dogs (one- turns out within one month of death) that I cannot let out of a car so therefore must sit in a driveway, pouring sweat with 2 panting hot dogs .....I was 'perturbed'.
I know that when I'm distressed, I get "acidic". (I'm proud of my success there- It passes quickly) and I can recover the ball-/no harm-no foul and go on.
I WAS attempting to recover quickly (which I'm not good at) because they did return quickly. I thought I did ok. I thought I kept it under control-ok,,,
after cooling me and the dogs off, I'm prepared to begin vaction time, Hi how are ya.......

Not so...... NTs.................................I had NO idea that that WAS the 'tone setter' performance. That all else that followed was predicated on that.
OOOOH! I had NO idea! Well, I MUST conclude that she is right. Right? She has the Majority Rule Right? Either way, I've lost the one thing that preserves my sanity. My VERY best friend in the world.
The losses though, could we please count this as a 'death of a loved one' on the stress scale?
NO! it doesn't count. It never counts where 'i'' is concerned. just other people but not me!
Story of my life.
Signed,
Not depressed at all
Fine, Thank you-How are YOU? (can you say fecetious?)

-3. Just deleted everything in my inbox here....finally.

6. Today was a good day because:

1. I got adequate sleep.
2. I didn't have to socialise.
3. I got stuff done.
4. I scanned my computer for viruses/spyware and it is clean.
5. It was windy.
6. My dog is awesome.

On the other hand, I had some rather bizarre and disturbing nightmares last night (although the computer interface in one of them was interesting), and I just got distracted from my composing by Beethoven. Now I feel inadequate as a composer. I also need 62-stave manuscript.

+3 I'm alright today. This blasted depression isn't going to get a prober hold on me!! !

+10. I've recently forgiven my mum, and I'm looking forward to another day at her trailer. That would be tomorrow.

5

Alright, just annoyed. My game keeps crashing on me...

2 I'm doing ok except for the guy that's trolling me /:

I'm about a positive +8.5; I'm loopy for some rezone

0. Home alone with noone expected for days. Can finally relax without worry.

Positive 1

0.
Intrusive thoughts suck.