scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Super duper 10.

+3. I'm usually around +5-6, so I'm feeling a tiny bit low but I'm okay.

3 I suppose.

I'm never sure. Is 51% sure enough to make a decision on? The future is so hazy. The things that I want might look appealing today but could be total nightmares tomorrow. Is this the one? Or another nightmare? I hate being torn.

0.

To clear up any misunderstanding: it is NOT because of the current situation or anyone's happiness. *edit to make things really clear*: I am happy that things are going well. If he was unhappy with how things were right now, my feelings would be in the negative numbers.
I am feeling low because of feeling ashamed of myself, and because my bank account was overdrawn AGAIN today, and I should be able to manage my money better, and I wish I had a job that wasn't very hard and paid enough to keep my bank balance above zero.

plus nine.
would be plus ten, but i have a hangover. >.<"

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001

Feel really good today. Tomorrow is our next meeting. We meet every Monday and Wednesday.

I feel like shìt. So -3 or something like that.

The reason I came to this forum was to find my real true love. I'm starting to feel impatient. I'm already 29, and every day that passes is one day too much. I'm not going to wait a whole year, as I was okay with imagining, before. I'm so fùcking bored with my useless life. Nothing is fun, anymore. Nothing. And the reason nothing is fun is because I don't have my true love. If I had her, all the things I used to like, all those years back, will be fun, again. The cure to how I'm feeling is her... all her. But I have waited for so long, already....

No number, but since this thread is for feelings: I feel like a complete hypocrite. I have been doing exactly the same thing that I was apologised to for recently: creating worst-case scenarios in my head and reacting to those instead of actually thinking.
The difference is that she actually realised what she was doing by herself; I didn't realise until I got that much-needed/well-deserved verbal slap.

+10 Sugar rush!! !

-8
Sad.
Sick at heart.
Afraid.
Guilty.
Angry, because I wish that people would take my words at face value and not read motives into them that weren't there.
Because it feels like in some people's eyes, it's ok for me to suffer any amount of pain, fear and worry, but the second I react, I'm a bad person.
Unbearably all of the above, because it seems right now like all the words of care ("I care" "You're so important to me" "I'm never stopping talking to you, ever") have come to nothing: I put a foot wrong UNINTENTIONALLY, not meaning to hurt anyone, just being scared of losing a friendship that is very important to me, and being clear that I am just getting things off my chest, that I don't feel bad anymore about most of the things, but that the ghosts of the pain still haunted me and it wasn't until now that I felt safe talking, that I didn't even require a response, and she gets pissed off, decides that I'm a bad person, and he disappears off the face of the earth, this time without even letting me knowing what's happening; knowing that the events of the past few months have made me incredibly sensitised (I feel like all my emotional skin has been flayed off, and the slightest touch has me screaming in pain), knowing that change and not knowing what's going on makes me panic, and knowing himself what it's like to try so hard with people and hurt them ("It seems that all I do is hurt people when I'm... trying to be nice.")

I am becoming increasingly convinced that the care is not real and that he wants me to be hurt.

I felt frozen inside all day. I started crying finally half an hour ago and now I can't stop. It has taken since May to work up the courage to speak of the things that I spoke of, and I thought I made that clear- that back then they had been too immediate, and now that there was distance from them I felt safe getting them out of my head where the intrusive thoughts of them have been torturing me since all this started- and it made everything go wrong. I am now scared to open up or trust anyone again in case it all crashes down like this.

I've felt so many times over the past few years like hiding in my room and never coming out. I can't really think of any good reasons why I shouldn't.

1. What crap is he pulling now?

about zero.
:/
be happy - people get annoyed.
be sad - people get annoyed.

-9...dare it get a little better?

~K

3. Confused and bewildered by people.