Rants

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Is still amazed people think they are above others.

Oh, some people know that they are human, but can at least admit when they are wrong. I've learned that others can't.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It seems like no matter how I'm acting, it's always the wrong way. I've been trying so hard to overcome this disorder, my past, and the demons that came with it...but it's not enough. Not enough to hold a job, not enough to placate the people around me, not enough to make me look forward to waking up every morning.

I don't know if it will ever be enough.

sometimes i feel really sad for no reason and i want to curl up in bed and cry and i dont know whats wrong.

how many of these repeating nightmares am I going to have and will they stop if I figure out what they mean or why I'm having the same one for so long. lost. lost. lost. lost.

blahhhhh

F*CK!! !! !!

What did I do do deserve this?

everyday is the same, why do I try?

It's pointless for some one with Aspergers disorder to go to college they'll end up in a work force where dumb smooth talking jocks and trust fund babies high 5 one another and tell each other how awesome they are and take long boozy lunches,

While aspie wants to be left alone in their office cubicle

How do you think that will pan out?

cute

why do all my relatives have to be sexist/heterosexist? told my godfather and his wife i was changing courses to a B education/arts and their response to that was "thats better for you- that way you'll be able to look after the kids when you get married." this is not the first time i have had this reaction. why do you think i like blokes?, why do you think i want to marry?, why do you think i will want kids?, why do you think the 2 would come together?, why do you think i would be the primary caregiver?, why do you think i would pick my career so it is soley based around marriage and children? why do you think it appropriate to tell me how to live my life?

Totally pissed at the way the world is. They teach us, institutionalize in us, that we are created equal and have the same chances as everyone else. Then you grow up and it's all about who has the most money and the whole ideology of everyone is equal is a crock of s**t. People look at me like I'm a complete idiot for working at a gas station and won't even hand me money like I'm diseased, yet I have to respect them and have to hand them their change. They just throw it on the counter like I'm a slave that has to pick up after them when in reality I am in college and comprehend subjects (Chemistry, Physics, and Cosmology) that most of them can't even imagine understanding at the high school level. WTF? Then the people who are SUPPOSED to be the Normal people treat people like crap and buy a bunch of useless crap (i.e. fashion, the newest cars, latest gadgets, etc.) to show they have more money than the others without any thought of the consequences of their actions, like corporate personhood, indentured servitude of the lower classes, and destruction of the environment that leads to dangerous chemicals getting into the air, land, and water that could one day lower the IQ's of the Normal people in following generations, cause severe genetic mutation, new diseases, and possibly even infertility of man kind. Why do I get this and the rest of the world doesn't?

what the f**k is wrong with me?