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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Sweetleaf
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06 Mar 2011, 7:12 pm

emlion wrote:
you'd be surprised on how they'd react.
maybe they'd want to help you instead of condemn you?
i always think people will hate me for being 'weak' but they never actually do.
i mean, would you hate someone who was having these thoughts?


I already tried to kill myself once and they did not react the way I say they will now, but they figure I am somehow stronger then that now......wouldn't want to dissapoint them again. Even so though I need more help then I am getting but I don't know how where to turn and I don't want family interference.

I mean its bad enough the counseler I go to has seen my mom, her boyfriend and my brother.....my mom recommended him when I decided to try counseling agian and I can see why she likes him I mean she loves meditation but that approach is not really helping me I guess.



MXH
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06 Mar 2011, 11:17 pm

-5, same as always. Lonely, not caring about anything anymore and now an old obsession I thought was past me is back in full force. Winning!

Ohh and I decided to make as many charlie sheen references as possible. Winning!



Titangeek
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06 Mar 2011, 11:19 pm

+4, today was a good day 8)


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CockneyRebel
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06 Mar 2011, 11:48 pm

+10. I'm feeling a lot better about myself than I was a week ago. :)


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emlion
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07 Mar 2011, 7:00 am

-8.
pain, pain, pain.



Jonsi
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07 Mar 2011, 7:15 am

+6, excited for lunch. Seafood chowder today. :3

I shall share it with everyone in this thread.



emlion
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07 Mar 2011, 7:16 am

Jonsi wrote:
+6, excited for lunch. Seafood chowder today. :3

I shall share it with everyone in this thread.


the cute DP is back! yaay.



Jonsi
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07 Mar 2011, 7:20 am

Y'all deserve something. And this seafood chowder is homemade by a Nova Scotian, so it'll be the best chowder you've ever eaten!

And we have tons left over. D:



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07 Mar 2011, 9:27 am

2. I really feel like an idiot after what happened last night. I can be a little too sensitive sometimes.


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CoalBogey
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07 Mar 2011, 1:14 pm

-4. Burnt out, snapping at people, frustrated.

Sweetleaf wrote:
emlion wrote:
it's funny you say that, i thought that too until recently - i was talking to someone here Kaybee i think about meditation and stuff and i tried it and it's actually really, really good. i was completely cynical too, until i tried it.


Maybe I am afraid of what I will find if I do that, I mean the things that go on in my head that I am aware of are bad enough...I don't really want to dig deeper. It just seems like no one gets that Im in pain and just want some relief. Eventually I might be ready to try out more meditation and really try and come to terms with things hidden inside that are bothering me. This might be stupid but I feel like if I listened to one of the meditation things alone I might find something I don't want to let out and wont be able to handle it alone with only a cd player for company.


A Buddhist once said that intense meditation can be like jumping into the ocean when you've only just learned how to swim. I think you could perhaps follow emlion's example and use lighter meditation to clear your head for 20 minutes each time, and eventually if you still want to, very carefully learn more about how other people use it to gain insight into themselves, preferably with a teacher if you can find one.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Mar 2011, 1:17 pm

-11



abaisse
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07 Mar 2011, 1:25 pm

+8, 2 points subtracted because I should be writing a paper.



ryan93
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07 Mar 2011, 1:54 pm

8, Met a girl in my college today who I actually has vaguely similar interests to me; she likes science, is an atheist, likes "do androids dream of electric sheep" and best of all smokes pot, which I find hilarious :lol:


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CoalBogey
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07 Mar 2011, 2:03 pm

-7. losing it. no one to talk to



emlion
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07 Mar 2011, 2:20 pm

-9
i'm so exhausted and in pain.



Jonsi
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07 Mar 2011, 3:48 pm

-6.

Not mad, not unhappy, not in pain. Just a bad mood.