Aspergers SUCKS.

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Sweet Pea hugs

I know what you mean. I hate it too. I wish I didn't spend the first 10 years of my life being stupid (as everyone else called it) I think I would be alot better today. I practically got up one day and said "This isn't worth it" (what my father told me for years). The thing is its not worth defending being different. If i cant do it then I might aswell just go with the flow like everyone else. Be the same. I noticed people give me more respect for being normal. I hate people saying its some kind of gift to have it. I wish the ones who say that would get Aspergers then know what a gift really is.

Actually, I blame Asperger's for everything gone wrong in my life.

I blame it for not having many friends, and I blame it for my difficulties with making friends. Why else would I be so crap at making friends? All my cousins are all NTs and they don't have issues with making friends, so why have I? Where have I gone wrong? Well, it can't be entirely my fault - I can't make friends because I have Asperger's. There's no other way of saying it.

See - this is the problem with sites like WP. Half of people's advice is ''be yourself, don't try to put on a charade just to please people'', and the other half of people's advice is ''you're not trying hard enough, get an interest and stop complaining''. I actually do both. I do my best to fit in, which is why I hate being shy and always afraid of a social faux pas. And I don't just spend my life sitting at a computer complaining that I don't have any friends. I have a job now where I am talking to new people, and I used to (and still do now) do voluntary work where I did make some friends, but the friendships either didn't last or I was too odd. When I try to be friends, I always find myself being too clingy or too ''in your face'', which seems to frighten people off more than being too shy and boring does.

That's good - you're identifying the issues. That's the first step to overcoming them. It sounds like you get too intense with your friendships - you need to learn to let go a bit more. It can be difficult when you struggle to make friends as you want to hold onto the ones you do make. But that can be too smothering. The paradox is that you make more friends when you aren't trying to.

The issue with both viewpoints - "be yourself" and "make an effort" - is that they're both too simplistic. Yes, you should be yourself... but that means being true to your core values and feelings. It doesn't mean you should do what you want and everyone else can go hang. Somewhere between these two viewpoints is the best path to take.

Friendships don't always last. Actually, they often don't. The idea that friends remain that way forever is in the same vein as the myth of true love. I think some people really do fall in love instantly, and then spend the rest of their lives together. I also think 99% of the population aren't that lucky. Relationships of all kinds are hard work. If a friendship doesn't have something to build on, it will fade over time. You'll lose touch. Don't feel sad about that - focus your efforts on making friends based on shared interests. Work is seldom a shared interest unless you both really enjoy it.

Oh, and as for social faux pas - keep on making them. Learn from your mistakes but don't ever panic about making them. I made a ton of them myself. There were times I didn't want to go out ever again. Unless you do something really bad, odds are most people will have forgotten your blunders within the next few weeks.

It does suck and I hate the f*****g s**t. All I want is to be accepted by a small group of ordinary people and just be more social and not worry and stress over so much. It's easier said than done. Seeing everybody else around me having all these things really puts me to shame, because they are all these socially-orientated people that take their social skills for granted and here I am just a lousy Aspie, being unable to go on vacations with mates and meet people on the vacation and date people, all because of this f*****g c**t of a disorder called Asperger's Syndrome.

It is more common to be born without it, the majority of people are generally NT, so why wasn't I born in that majority too? I could have been. I want to be somebody who takes my social skills for granted. I want to be Miss Popular, going away on vacations with friends. But I can't. Nobody will go with me. I hate having this f*****g cruel s**t. I hate it hate it hate it, I am really on the verge of committing suicide, just to get me away from this s**t. I try my hardest to make friends and I end up just smothering them. I try talking to people but I'm too shy. I haven't many interests, only playing the piano with one hand, which I don't class as an interest exactly, it's just something I can do in my own time when at home, I'm sure if I went to a piano-playing club (which there isn't much of that sort of thing in my area anyway) I would still be shy there and not really make any friends to start going out and about with. I can see it now: there will be one or two extroverted life and souls who are quite narcissist and all the attention lavishes onto them, and I'm always left alone quietly in the corner. It's happened before. And why should this be my only chance that I MIGHT make a couple of acquatences anyway? I want to make friends the way NTs do.

God I f*****g hate this f*****g AS f*****g s**t I want to f*****g die and I want my f*****g brain cut out of my head and burnt so that it will never exist on this planet again, I f*****g hate my f*****g brain and I am not coping with being different and odd and stupid I f*****g hate it I f*****g hate I f*****g hate it!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

I agree with this too. I especially hate them saying im gifted , blessed, should use my disadvantage to my advantage. (Whatever that means) So tell me then why is something that makes life a lot harder gives constant stress and comes back to haunt me at the end of the day a gift. If being an Aspie is great gift I guess my mom is gifted as a diabetic too. Sure is the life for her. Or maybe my dad was blessed when he burnt his hand. No one would consider these gifts so why is aspergers a gift too? I always think its better to keep going even if it means to challenge yourself then "stop where you are good". In life everyone should and needs to know more then one thing. You dont have to be an Aspie to be gifted either. My sister is a perfect example of NT and has an IQ range around the scores people wrote about here and she is a straight A high honor roll student and will be going to college all expenses paid next year as a result of that as well as the fact she is the head of most of her activities.

I just wish I had the guts to commit suicide. I got into a massive rage earlier and got my coat and my boots on and threatened to get the next bus to the train-station so I can jump in front of a train, and that would be it. No more s**t for me, ever. But then that's being selfish. But since my parents and my w*ker of a brother were mad at me at the time because of the rage I was in, they probably would have just played along and let me do it, and I probably would have done, if I had the guts. People often say ''you can't be that angry/depressed, otherwise you could do it regardless'', but that's not always true. I am really on the verge of doing it, but there must be some sort of self-control inside me to stop me, and also I am not selfish enough to do it. My family may hate me at the moment but I presume they will be really upset if I did do anything stupid.

I am just so morbidly depressed. I haven't been eating properly since Monday, and my stomach feels hungry but my mind isn't, and it doesn't seem to want me to eat. I can't sleep properly, and that's not like me either. And I cannot concentrate on anything, so it is mighty difficult to distract myself from all the things that are depressing me because I just can't, no matter how hard I try. I watch good films to try to distract myself from thinking, but I just cannot focus. I write stories to try and distract myself, but it's still the same. I've never been this bad before in all my life. Whenever something has been bothering me I have always been able to distract myself from the bad thoughts by watching films, going for walks, seeing friends, etc. But I feel I don't like anybody at the moment. I just want to move far, far away and start a new life, with new people, and try to better myself with different surroundings. But it's not that simple and I don't have the confidence to just up and do that.

The things that have made me go into this deep, morbid depression are:-

-I am too quiet, making me feel worthless. Not many people talk to me, which lessens my chances of meeting new friends and a boyfriend

-I have a crush on a man but I have found out he is married, and he is honestly the most handsomest hunk I have ever seen in my life, and I have seen a lot of cute men but he really is the one I would absolutely love to marry and hold in my arms forever

-I work every other Sunday but I would rather work none because Sunday is literally the only day of the week I can do charity work with a small group of really lovely people who I do feel socially accepted with (it is only a Sunday charity thing, they have work in the week also)

-It's supposed to be my favourite month of the year but instead I just heard my part of the country is going to get temperatures of 0 degrees Celsius and more horrible snow to come, which I thought was over. Also lots of lovely little flowers are starting to grow and all that evil snow is going to kill them off, and flowers are lovely

-One of my friends has changed, she is a lot older than me and always has seemed quite socially awkward for as long as I have known her, but she went on holiday a few months ago and has came back all in love with this man she met on holiday and is suddenly all over him, even though she has always said she loves being single and has lost interest in men years ago. She seems to have changed and I feel I don't want to see her any more, when before I really admired her and thought she was rather similar to me

-I can't stand the sight and sound of my brother, but I am afraid to move out because of the big change, and because I am severely depressed now and I'm on the verge of a breakdown I think, I just cannot face all the stress of moving out just because I hate my brother


I am thinking of going up the doctors and going on anti-depressants - until a thread has popped up in GAD saying that meds like that affect Aspies in negative ways so I supposed I am doomed to be depressed all my life. I am just crying and crying right now and I can't stop.

I have been on pills for depression and they never effected me negatively. Only thing I experiences was not able to pee when I had to go and they lowered the dosage. But that is just a side effect of the medicine, not because I was ASD.

Not all aspies are effected negativity by medicine.