scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Well, I would be at an 8, but I'm pretty pissed off right now.

What's the cause, if you don't mind my asking?


I'm around a 5 still I think. Happy to be going home soon, but going home means packing, driving, breaking the routines I've made over the last couple weeks, etc. Also "have" to go out tonight, a friend wants to go bar-hopping. He's already layed it on pretty thick about me going back to school "this early," since I don't have classes until the 16th. Acted like that decision somehow was an insult to him, because I'd rather be there and happier than be here and miserable, but have him around to hang out with...when it is convenient for him. Well, more like a 4, maybe a 4.5. I really don't want to go out. Don't see the damn point, nor how it will be enjoyable, drinking a beer, maybe being forced to talk to people I'll never see again, then going to another bar and repeating, until he gets tired of it, because if I complain about it or say I'm tired and ready to go home I know he's going to insult me for it in a sideways way and force me to stay.

now its a 4.

ugh... arrogance really irritates me. People that think they're special, better than others, and at the same time deserve to be treated specially, though they feel they have the right to treat everyone else like s**t. Thank god this is the internet, or I would be arrested for choking the life out of some of them. It wouldn't irritate me as much if they didn't give off the feeling that they thought they were so damn clever, when in reality they structure things for the very purpose of giving them that feeling.

You can ace a test if you write it in the first place. That doesn't make you smarter than anyone that doesn't, it makes you a fool.

Time to listen to music so I can relax... I hate when I get so irritated by one thing that I come off as being irritated by something else that is really petty instead.

EDIT: heh, I think I may be compulsively updating here tonight. Oh well.

Now around 8: "wooooo saaaaah" (accompanied by rubbing ear lobes). Think I calmed down enough (on my own, w/o music, w/o much assistance from others really) to type up a calm, non-aggressive response. If it is attacked, and I can't see why it would have been taken in a potentially wrong way after careful consideration, I can be comfortable about believing the poster is a troll, rather than angry about it. If it isn't attacked, but rather points are discussed in a more civil way, that means better communication has been formed, which is a positive outcome.

6.. i have to buy guitar strings and groceries and lots of laundry to do.. Saturdays suck until about 3pm

Buying guitar strings means guitar that can be played. Past that, I can appreciate a dislike of grocery shopping and laundry, but the guitar strings sound like they're for a good cause!

I'm at about a 3. Saw a new therapist today, which is very anxiety provoking for me. She seems understanding and nice, but I've had so many bad experiences with mental health professionals... Also, having thoughts about my own mortality, since I learned that my mother has cancer is and undergoing treatments. Knowing that your parents will die some day is a given, but still to have it staring you in the face is pretty scary.

4.

Stressed over traveling tomorrow, wide awake so I won't get much sleep before driving for 17+ hours straight.

posted something here (different thread), never liked how it came out, tried to come up with a better way to put it, couldn't. finally just said f**k it and posted what I meant directly, even though it made me feel anxious as hell and almost ill. Still have no clue if it managed to "fix" my earlier possible mess-up, and that's been an irritation as well.

5 first exam tomorrow
don't feel like seeing people, so many of them
i'm currently at good friends' house
that's already largely enough talking

5: Becoing a little more worried about my considerable weight gain after the Christmas period. I would go out and walk but I have problems with my feet that prevent me doing so. The fact that I can't properly exercise is beginning to chip away at my self-esteem. Hopefully I can soon get my feet sorted and I can be back on track again with the walking and swimming. Other than that and the end of the cold I'm fine.

A 5.

It's a weekend, which is always a good thing for the mood. Slightly anxious at an impending social situation though: my friend has decided that I need more friends and given my name/profile (MySpace, seeing as how none of us live close enough to visit frequently) to one of her friends. Who I am informed that I "shall love" and that he's a guy "who will adore" me. I have no idea who this guy is, much less what to say. Plus, this random girl who I don't know (who doesn't have my friend as a friend either) has added me, and I don't think she's one of those randomly adding people. And her entire profile is in French [(although comments are in English)], which I don't speak. Spanish, yes. French, no.
And since I tend to ignore my MySpace anyway, I'm so not posting the first comment.
(Am I the only person who can get worked up over social situation in MySpace? It sounds pretty pathetic even to me.)

Up to a 9.

Both people are nice, and we get along well. Plus, the friend of a friend has almost exact same interests. And my sugar high is kicking in.
I don't think I've been a 9 in ages.

8,i'm suprised...

5. Bored.

-1000 sound right? Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now.

-5. I just got back from seeing my cousins in Chico, and it was horrible. We watched Mozart and the Whale together, and they made fun of the characters because they acted 'ret*d'. I act just like the main girl in it.
Their house is a bit messy, and I felt really out of place, and I'm scared to leave my house now.
I hate going to people's places, and I hate being insulted.

I know how you feel...