I feel hopeless and wann just stop living.

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kraftiekortie
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09 Jan 2018, 8:19 pm

Coyote's just withdrawing from the thread, not from you.



sly279
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09 Jan 2018, 10:50 pm

Went to a coin shop today and found a coin that was already messed up so I can touch it without gloves :) spent whole day running errands to be able to get ride there though.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jan 2018, 10:52 pm

I used to collect coins when I was a kid.



sly279
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10 Jan 2018, 1:29 am

Why’d you stop?



goldfish21
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10 Jan 2018, 3:57 am

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why do you think you upset Coyote, Sly? She's not upset with you, per se. She's upset about the futility you impose upon yourself.

Hitchhiking is illegal in the US. It is also sometimes dangerous. I don't think Sly should hitchhike.

Edit saw her post after posting.

We just have different happiness paths. If I was on an extrovert site I bet I’d get lots of advice about how interacting with people brings happiness. Wp is a aspie sure most aspies are inoverts. It doesn’t surprise me a bunch of anti social inoverts would say happiness comes from within. I had happiness before so I know where my happiness comes from. I was very happy when I had friends I spent every day with. Now o don’t and I’m depressed. The lack of romantic parter is part of that too. I’ve never been one to Derrick happiness from hobbies or activities it was always spending time with others doing those activities that made me happy. I accept that many here are happy with the activity itself. Why can’t any of you accept others might get happy from spending time with others?


No one has said that people can't be happy around other people. We've all said many times over that the REASON people are happy being around other people is that their THOUGHTS are happy when they're around those friends. Thoughts dictate emotions. It's the quality of your thoughts that dictate the quality of your life.

Also, whether solo, with people, or doing hobbies, people are happiest when they are being Present. Their mind is focused on the thing they are doing in the moment. Chances are near 100% that if you aren't happy while doing some hobby, that you
are not being present and thinking about the hobby you are doing live in the moment. You're either thinking about something that already happened (being depressed) or worried about something that hasn't happened yet (being anxious).

It's not us, a bunch of Aspie introverts who are trying to manipulate the definition of happiness to fit our antisocial nature. It's simple fact and has been written about by all kinds of authors for literally CENTURIES. I've read books about being present, books about happiness, books about improving your thoughts, books about improving your finances etc and every single one of them, even ones written in different centuries, different milleniums even now.. they ALL have the same common core basic truths about happiness coming from within one's own mind, from the quality of their thoughts. These are the simple facts of the matter. Once you accept them you will be able to make giant leaps & bounds of progress in terms of treating and beating your depression. Hell, if you will read them when I go through my books next month I will box up all the ones about thoughts, happiness, being present, and improving the quality of your thoughts etc that I've already read and drop them in the mail en route to your address.

Every psychiatrist & philosopher the world has ever known who've had anything valuable to say about attaining happiness all agree on the same universal truth that it comes from within - from our thoughts. THAT is why we can't accept that you might get happy from spending time with others & only from spending time with others.

You very likely DO feel happy around others. So do I. Especially certain other people in my life. I DO acknowledge the positive influence on my mood and well being of certain peoples' "vibes," & "energy," BUT it's those things that then further positively influence the quality of my THOUGHTS. I feel so good around those particular people because they make me THINK so clearly, positively etc w/ their physical (and metaphysical) presence/voice etc.

The reason I really want you to accept this universal truth is that once you do you'll be more open to treating your depression via learning how to improve the quality of your thoughts vs. operating under the assumption that ONLY being around other people/girlfriend can possibly make you happy - because that assumption is false & it's constraining you from being a happier person.


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kraftiekortie
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10 Jan 2018, 6:48 am

Because I got interested in other things.

I once had a 1943S steel penny.



goldfish21
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10 Jan 2018, 5:24 pm

Hey sly279 make ya a deal:

If you'll read even just ONE book I send ya/have shipped from amazon, your book reading completion bonus will be one pretty sweet Roman bronze coin.

Why?

You care about coins, I care about you learning what's in those pages so you can begin to feel happier & I would GLADLY spend the couple bucks on the book & coin if it means it's a turning point in overcoming your depression.

Open ended offer whenever you feel up to it. :)


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hale_bopp
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10 Jan 2018, 11:38 pm

Even for extroverts, happiness comes from within. It’s the key to everything. An extrovert who likes who they are and enjoys their life will always be better off than an extrovert who hates themselves and their life unless people are around them 24/7.

Extroverts tend to seek out other people. I posted a bunch of groups, are you not interested in anything on there? There are always people around in life who want to be listened to.



goldfish21
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12 Jan 2018, 7:03 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Even for extroverts, happiness comes from within. It’s the key to everything. An extrovert who likes who they are and enjoys their life will always be better off than an extrovert who hates themselves and their life unless people are around them 24/7.


This is true. I'm VERY extroverted for an Aspie. (but I do like my solitude, too.) I inherently knew years ago during the depths of my worst depression that I could not be around people as I refused to subject my friends to me in that state - I didn't want to bring them down. I knew I had to be happier on my own before being around other people. Especially in terms of thinking of dating or a partner. Part of the reason I've remained single is that I could never ever be with someone to their detriment. Unless I'm feeling whole & able to bring something positive to the relationship & contribute positively to someone else, there's no way I'd consider dating anyone. Now I'm a MUCH happier person and no longer intentionally avoid a relationship largely for those reasons.


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sly279
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15 Jan 2018, 3:24 am

Meh lost another friend.



goldfish21
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15 Jan 2018, 7:24 am

sly279 wrote:
Meh lost another friend.


Now you have more time to read books. Let me know when I should have one sent to ya.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Jan 2018, 5:33 pm

Which friend did you lose?



sly279
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16 Jan 2018, 5:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Which friend did you lose?

He was a 10+ old friendship. We hadn’t talked much for 3 years cause he moved with family and didn’t have internet. He finally got a PS4 this year and I was excited to play with him again, but instead he spends all his time with a guy from my vets clan who left it. Like from the time he gets on to time he gets off for hours 7 days a week. He won’t make any time to play with me, yet said he misses playing with me. If he actually did he’d tell the other guy I play with yiu 7 days a week today I, going play with sly. Instead he tells me this guys his friend too and ignores me still. He hasn’t made time to play with me in months, so I don’t consider him a friend as clearly our friendship doesn’t mean anything to him. I’d make time to play with him as I value our friendship.



goldfish21
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16 Jan 2018, 5:11 pm

So, basically the guy never said he wasn't your friend anymore and hasn't ghosted or avoided you, you're just jealous that he prefers playing video games with some other friend instead at the moment/for the last few months. Some friend you are to him.. saying you no longer consider him a friend because he's hanging out with someone else. Maybe he prefers that guys company right now? Maybe he's avoiding your depressed state of mind & being vs. not wanting to know you at all?

Just because I don't see or hangout with someone for a while, or they're currently hanging out with other friends they're quite attached to doesn't mean I'm no longer friends with them.


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Claradoon
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16 Jan 2018, 5:25 pm

Sly, have you tried volunteering? It works. I don't know why but there's something about human nature that makes us feel better and more worthy if we do even the smallest thing for somebody who can't do it for themselves. There might be an organized volunteer association near you, where they match you up and offer things to try. No harm in asking?



sly279
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16 Jan 2018, 5:57 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Sly, have you tried volunteering? It works. I don't know why but there's something about human nature that makes us feel better and more worthy if we do even the smallest thing for somebody who can't do it for themselves. There might be an organized volunteer association near you, where they match you up and offer things to try. No harm in asking?

There’s litterally no volunteer opportunity in my area. It’s all across town and I’m not going spend 5 hours a day just on the bus for free. I work 5 hours which makes a 10 hour day for money I’m sure not going going do thst on my day off for free. Not to mention it’ll overwhelm me.if I could manage it I’d work more.
Example, the animal shelter is across the other side of the city next to mine in an industrial area that the bus doesn’t go to. So I can’t volunteer to work with the kittens and cats.