I am Fat and Worthless

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i wish i could say something more helpful...you were a big help to me when i was going though my relationship crisis...
all I can think of is
1. you are NOT fat.
2. I am fat, and fat does nto equal worthless...fat is natural.

Fat gives many people the horn. Can't be that worthless can it?

Are you here Grae? I'm really worried about you, especially since your last post!

Dear Grael,
I think you are a beautiful person. You have beautiful, sparkling, and expressive eyes that are blue like a deep ocean waiting to be stormy.
And I feel that you are capable of loving others...I have felt cared by you many times...Also, others love you too...It is obvious from this thread and many others that there are people who care about you...
Love might be overrated...a short smile of a passing stranger might be an expression of love from the universe...
Or love is completed in me, in my own heart where I am able to receive and appreciate it...
Of course, maybe this is just a psycho-babble and sprititual crap...maybe I'm not understanding the things you are going through...
But the bottom line is, you are a beautiful and talented person... Your life is filled with 'life'...each moment is precious because you survived...
A lot of people, including myself, are glad that you are here.
I am interested in the book you are writing so keep up the good work!

you might want to try the following site. It might be useful...

http://www.ocdonline.com/

Graelwyn i hope you got some sort of help by now. if not you may want to get in touch with your doctor as soon as you can. most doctors treat this kind of thing as an emergency at your severity, 5'9 and 125 pounds is bad. i am 5'0 and 98 pounds and i am considered tiny, i am fed through a tube in my stomach because my neurological disease makes it impossible to swallow food. sometimes they can fix it with psychotherapy other times they have to insert a feeding tube of some sort... either way please get some help!

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

No, I have not had another appointment through from the shrink and since I missed several, I am too scared to broach the subject with my doctor who I have not seen since I lost weight. I am still around 126 Ibs, tho my height is actually 5'10, not 5'9. My OCD has taken over my life so much. I control it to a degree, but it takes very little to convince me that the scales are wrong and I weigh more than anyone in the world.

Example...denim jeans/shorts. I have loads. I wear a new pair and notice that after a day of moving and sitting in them, the material in the butt is softer etc. It drives me mad. To me it means I am too large for them. But it happens with things that are baggy on me too. I don't get it.

I exercise 90 minutes every day, no matter how tired I feel. I often binge eat at night so I stopped buying a lot of the foods I bought and now only buy salad, fish, yoghurt, fruit, crackers and dried fruit. I am getting panic attacks again which are making my life miserable. And I feel isolated as there is no one to talk to on here, on my messengers.

Times, I really wish I would just go to sleep and not wake up.
But I still fear death at times when I feel I am dying from the panic attacks.

I feel as if I am just taking up too much space in the world. I serve no purpose,have no function, do no good.
I get moody and spiteful, which just reinforces my belief that I am not a nice person, rather a b***h.
I have now been with my online bf for over a year, and I honestly do not know why he bothers with me. I am a bore.

have no right to help. There are people such as yourself and another member with serious issues not of their own making, and here is me with this s**T. IT makes me feel very disgusted with myself when I was given a healthy body. Just not a healthy mind.