Rants

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Instant depression. Is that even possible? From decent, maybe even good to complete and total dominating darkness. Wtf?

That happens to me a lot lately.

I'm beginning to think there are triggers that set me off - anything - from a photograph or a thought to big stuff like thinking about my life in total.

I also think seasonal depression disorder is taking a toll on me and making it worse. I have to force myself to go outside more to breathe fresh air and try to get some sunshine on my head.

Hope you feel better soon.

After discovering I'm probably an Aspie about 6 months ago, I've been thinking about my whole life - all of the signs were there. How come I was never diagnosed?

Last edited by goodwitchy on 01 Jan 2012, 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And one more thing....

Just like cigarette smoking is banned in public places, I think perfume and cologne should be banned in public places.

If you want to stink up your own house, go for it, but that stench is horrible when I'm working and I can't eat when your smell is overpowering the smell of my food, and it makes me angry.

Life is torture.
Another new year and not a damn thing will change.
I have been feeling paranoid about that Mayan prophecy. I really don't believe it but It still scares the crap out of me.
The Mayans were good astronomers and that scares me.
I have done nothing with my life and don't want to die.
If there is an afterlife I will burn in hell. If there is no afterlife I will just die.
Death scares me. I cant even accept my grandfather's death from 5 years ago.
All I worry about is death and the passing of time.

it is almost scary how much this resonates with me.

maybe you should be checked for anxiety and depression. they are like the testicles to the penis that is aspergers.

In the last time i am thinking there is no time, maybe just our perception upon space.
Or maybe all is just a dream. Really, i don't believe in my brain. Maybe death is not real.
But stop thinking about it. It's self destructive. And you can't enjoy another 'reality'.
As a child i've created my own reality and i believed in lots of fairytales. Now i'm so unhappy, i can't believe a thing.
I'm thinking to change my beliefs, even if it's not 'reality'. I need to feed my brain with something positive.
World can be so 'dark' when you take it for granted...

I'm often confused on what alot of the folks in this forum mean when they say they're unhappy about their inability to work or drive.. or support themselves.

I mean, I understand, I can't imagine what life would be like if I couldn't, I don't want to.. but I feel.. I can support myself easily, I have a full time job and a car, and I'm still immensely unhappy with my life.

I guess there's more to life than just being successful.. what the hell am I supposed to do with success? Go out in the world, put a smile on and go do fun stuff? How does one do that?

tired of hearing people try to outwhine me.

after having to be / choosing to try to be social I replay the scenes and words and analyze if I did it right.
I was polite. I served food. I proffered an overnight stay. Why do some normal people brag so much about themselves. Is it because there's nothing to talk about that is 'so wonderful' as themselves. The - experiment is completed, results in; they were banned before and banned they shall stay.

My, stupid sister, recently went on to my account, there was this stupid scam message in my inbox, and behind my back, she replied to it! this was the exact message

tell everyone that i'm a stupid idiot that hogs the computer!
her account is named: magenta

Afterlife possibilities are not limited to Christian orthodoxy or nothing. I personally take solace in Kurt Vonnegut's hypothesis: life is horribly painful as is. Everyone, regardless of who they are and what they've done, goes to heaven when they die, because anything less would be a travesty.

Anyhow, my rant:

My feelings are mine. I can try to change them, but if I can't even understand them, it's not an easy process. Let me have responsibility for my feelings and you take responsibility for yours.

RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT JESUS RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTRANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT.

I do feel a bit better now.

My entire right arm keeps cramping up.

Ignorance is abundant at this house tonight!