scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-4 bored and lonely.. i was conveniently reminded of this today when family friends call me randomly to see how how im doing since my folks are out of town, or when my brother gets drunk and feels the need to initiate overly emotional facebook conversation in an effort to feel as connected to me as he does to his friends. dislike.

0, neutral, i guess. : |

- 10.

if i can stop being a f**k up for one day i'd be happy.

-10. There is a point where feeling unwanted and being unwanted meet. Ive been reassured im way past that point.

-1

-4

Too many things to do. So much so that I question why I'm doing them in the first place.

Brain is going non-stop, but lack motivation to try and focus to get them done. Starting not to care one way or the other

+5

Someone in my apartment complex just disposed a plastic Christmas tree! I didn't have one, and couldn't afford one either.

1: The ordaments are silver and red, which happen to be a favored color combination of mine in tinsel. Some are really pretty, and perfectly intact. The only reason a few out of one box were broken, was becuase tape wasn't on the bottom of the box. A mild set back.
2: The beads on the big silver star can easily be replaced. It looks just like one of those silver stars I dreamily eyed last December in Hobby Lobby. What luck.
3: The tree didn't stink. It didn't smell like the dumpster, because it wasn't put inside it yet. It actualy smelled like my Grandfather's house before Grandma died. I took a big sniff or two.
4: The lights didn't work, but I would rather use blue.
5: It has everybranch still inside the box, and they are easy to put together. It was bare around the middle, but the owner had also tossed the green tinsel that they had apparently used to make up for that.
6: The tree box is a perfect fit inside my closet. I can't wait to bring it out next time. I think it might be possible to make room for it in my room.

0. Give or take 1 maybe. I've been at -9 or -10 for the past several months but all of the sudden it's stopped. Feels pretty good but I'm weary of it.

+8
Stuffed guts today
Knee feeling better for now
nice bike ride today

I was pretty stressed and overloaded for the later half of today. I'm feeling pretty calm now, so a -1 or 0. About neutral.

+4. I've pigged out on turkey and I feel guilty.

-10. meh.

-2

+8 I had a good day with my family and a great conversation with my cousin. And I laughed a lot. I missed laughing

+6
After a brief dip in the past two days, things are going fine, and have been generally for 2 months now since my last depressive period.