scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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1 million, lifted a load of weight off my shoulders I had for a while.

-10

I lost my job that I only had for 2 weeks, and it was one I really enjoyed, and it was a miracle I even got it.

And finding a similar job in my field is nearly impossible. I will never get to move out of my parents' house, and I stand no chance at a relationship unless there is someone who will settle for me when they can't get anyone else.

-10

I was doing fine until I stopped raiding.

I am so tired.

I'm having a really hard time waiting till the 23rd.

I got stressed again, and now I've got really, really bad and really, really powerful invasive thoughts.

*hugs to everyone who needs it*

I'm -5. It's not getting any better.

5 at the moment, as I am 'medicated' but other then that 1 is about where I am at....lets just say for whatever reason I keep remembering things I stopped thinking about for a reason. There is a reason I tried never acknowledging my hellish childhood.

-9

I have lost all my hope, and I wish I would just kill myself. I just can't see any particular reason to get hope back, again.

I've started reading about suicide, again, too.

I hate being a part of this moron world. I hate being a part of the human species (even if I'm not, really). Can't I just die, already?

+5

I wouldn't recommend suicide, Beauty_pact, and yes, I have been there myself more than once.
Hope things improve for all those in the negative.

I have waited long enough and tried more than enough times to get it to become better... but it doesn't get better. My interests are being taken away from me and I see no sign of my true love existing in this world. And if she does, how am I supposed to find her? Maybe we can't find each other, in this life - maybe we're merely fated to kill ourselves, in this world, and find each other in a better life, on a better planet, instead?

I'm truly sorry you feel this way. Sometimes I have similar thoughts myself. But you could also think about this - maybe you're fated to endure this life, this world as a test? Maybe if you stick around long enough you'll meet eventually? Maybe if you quit too soon you don't get to go to a better planet? Maybe if you quit you'll take away the chance for you two to meet? It's just some thoughts from a slightly different pov. I hope you'll find the strength and the will to endure this and I hope you feel better even if it doesn't seem to be possible.

7

Pretty bored at the minute but just chilling out whilst listening to music

+ - 2

I'm not sure at this point. Woke up after a nightmare, chilled in bed for a while so it neutralized the effects of the nightmare.

Missing GF, but I also get a day to relax after a really long training session yesterday.

Seeing her on Monday. We're going to discuss things, and not knowing whether or not things will be good or bad keeps tossing me on two different sides.

On one side, my hopefulness makes me feel good when I think about ONE possible outcome.

The other side makes me anxious, because I just don't know what will happen.

I guess we'll need to see.

Last edited by Ohgodspiders on 17 Jun 2011, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you for your concern. I'm feeling a bit better, now, though... I'm not sure how long it will last, but yeah... I woke up feeling so crappy that I barely could get out of bed, but a friend showed me this, which kind of cheered me up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGdCJeSu ... ata_player

I hope it doesn't give me ideas, though. :B

I'm going to make a big cup of tea, now, and eat ice cream...

EDIT: Double post. -_-;


...Oh, just -3, right now, by the way.

+1.

-3

Tired. Bored. Stressing.

Your username always adds +1 to whatever part of the scale I'm feeling:)