scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Page 1179 of 2221 [ 35531 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 1176, 1177, 1178, 1179, 1180, 1181, 1182 ... 2221 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Jul 2011, 1:51 pm

chrissyrun wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

TenPencePiece wrote:

^ I do not feel like I fit in here - I do not fit in with either this AS crowd, or the general NT crowd. I do not function like any other human does, AS or NT.

you're right. you do function differently, absolutely.

and so do i. and so does chrissyrun. we are all freaks or weirdos or nutbars on here in some way or another. when i was your age i felt like i could not fit in anywhere as i felt i was actually an ancient person trapped in a teenager's body. everyone has reasons they are distinct from others, but there are just some people who do a better job of masking their differences to "fit in". NTs *usually* have an easier time of this - they can play pretend much better and connect much more easily than we do.

but trust me, you can possibly connect with us to a certain degree on here BECAUSE of your own oddities, not in spite of them.

You don't know how much this made me laugh...thank you for including me in the weirdness! :lol:

oh, i wouldn't leave you out. :lol:

hope i honestly didn't offend, just grabbed you as a random example as you had responded to his post too. i LIKE that we are all weird on here.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Jul 2011, 2:01 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:

Quote:

when i was your age i felt like i could not fit in anywhere as i felt i was actually an ancient person trapped in a teenager's body.

Yes, I feel like this. I even go far as to say I detest most people my age, as to me they are more than alien beings, and pretty much all of them are shallow.

don't sweat it. wanna know my dirty little secret?

even at age 39, i STILL detest a minimum of 90% (probably closer to 99% or even 99.99%) of the people i have contact with, either online or in person.

but in the intervening years between 16 and 39, i mellowed enough to at least see some positives and some potential in other people. i dug deep with others to try to find the real gems worth knowing, because they do exist. and i cultivated various forms of relationships with those people. i have come to desire the connections, whereas at your age i could hardly even stand to be in other people's presence without feeling nasty and negative emotions.

i still don't feel a total connection to other people. sometimes in the presence of the man i married and my own daughter i even get nervous and uncomfortable, feeling like an odd man out.

we are different and unique in our own ways, it is true, but we also overlap with other humans in many ways. there can be value in cultivating those areas.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

OneStepBeyond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,310

09 Jul 2011, 2:10 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

even at age 39, i STILL detest a minimum of 90% (probably closer to 99% or even 99.99%) of the people i have contact with, either online or in person.

D:

we heart you ten

TenPencePiece
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

09 Jul 2011, 2:13 pm

It makes me wonder why I bother sometimes, but I do!
I just hope I won't be depressed again come winter, after so much progress this year.

_________________
I'm always here, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive

chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

09 Jul 2011, 2:21 pm

Quote:

We are all a bit awkward, and prone to saying the wrong thing. We might not express how we feel very well. We are likely to all feel a bit isolated on here, or separated from others. This is partly because the internet has its limitations, and partly because we are Aspies.

Yes, I'm not sure if what I'm saying on this thread is coming out how I want it to, but I hope the sense of isolation and detatchment - despite interacting with others both online and in real life - is coming across, as it is how I feel.

I know the feeling. Like you could have a million online friends, but it's not the same as real life, and the real life ones just don't work.

Quote:

But from what I have seen of your interactions with others, you do very much fit in. I have seen that you talk with quite a few people in Random Discussion, who appear to like you and value you. I certainly like you, and think that you offer a lot to WP. You are very welcoming to others.

See above, but yes, I like to think I'm friendly. I just really spoil things sometimes when I'm having a bad day, as I become very much self-deprecating and perhaps even disrespectful to others.

You are really friendly! That happens to everybody. Ya just gotta realize that bad days happen....that's life. If you post about it, fine (heaven knows I do this too). Just don't let it spoil your idea of the whole website, because this is a community for the bad days and the happy days.

Quote:

How would things need to change for you to feel like you fit in here?

I'm not sure. It isn't the fault of anyone here, but I do not feel like there is anyone who is like me out there. Now you may come back with the everyone is unique argument, but I'm just so so so far from the norm, from anyone else, or so I feel.

Hmmmmmm, still agreeing with you for that argument on my behalf. You don't even know how weird I am.

Quote:

when i was your age i felt like i could not fit in anywhere as i felt i was actually an ancient person trapped in a teenager's body.

Yes, I feel like this. I even go far as to say I detest most people my age, as to me they are more than alien beings, and pretty much all of them are shallow.

that I don't feel, rather, I am a kid and adult at the same time. Like I am immature, but not in the same way that most teenagers are. See, I am even weird in that respect.

Oh, and hyperlexian, no prob about including me....I'm cool with being called weird.

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Jul 2011, 2:21 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

even at age 39, i STILL detest a minimum of 90% (probably closer to 99% or even 99.99%) of the people i have contact with, either online or in person.

D:

we heart you ten

i keep my heart open and i give people a chance. i don't write them off easily, and i am always looking to find the good in them. it's just that the good is often mixed with a lot of bad.

don't worry though - there's 52,192 members on here so there will always be lots of people i like! and i don't ever ever ever fake my respect and love for people, so if i dislike them, they will either be ignored or they will know how i feel quite clearly.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

Henbane
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,071
Location: UK

09 Jul 2011, 2:25 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

TenPencePiece wrote:

Quote:

when i was your age i felt like i could not fit in anywhere as i felt i was actually an ancient person trapped in a teenager's body.

Yes, I feel like this. I even go far as to say I detest most people my age, as to me they are more than alien beings, and pretty much all of them are shallow.

don't sweat it. wanna know my dirty little secret?

even at age 39, i STILL detest a minimum of 90% (probably closer to 99% or even 99.99%) of the people i have contact with, either online or in person.

we are different and unique in our own ways, it is true, but we also overlap with other humans in many ways. there can be value in cultivating those areas.

I agree with hyperlexian. It is hard to find the positives in people sometimes (often). And I always feel like the odd one out when I am with other human beings. Even among the diverse range of people I encounter at my mental health/learning disability group. I usually feel completely alienated from them.

It is hard to see people as anything other than the shallow projection they choose to give to the world. And for some people, they really are that shallow. There is nothing there apart from the desire to be powerful, to bully, or to look attractive and make lots of money. There are a lot of people in this world that make it too easy to despise them.

But underneath the artificial veneer people paint on themselves, I think that many of them are much more than that. I think they still feel pain and loneliness. Even the most 'successful' people, the prettiest, the ones with loads of friends, the one with that amazing job, I think many of them have a lot more going on inside them than we could guess.

Maybe it's the world we live in, it's so shallow, and it turns everyone into something artificial. Or maybe it's just nature, people are animals, and have to appear strong to attract a mate and fend off the competition.

Or maybe I'm just waffling on.

TenPencePiece
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

09 Jul 2011, 2:26 pm

It may be worth noting that only 30,000 have actually posted...
In any case, I do not want to contaminate this thread any further.

_________________
I'm always here, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Jul 2011, 2:29 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:

It may be worth noting that only 30,000 have actually posted...
In any case, I do not want to contaminate this thread any further.

sokay Ten, i think we all benefited from taking a moment to think about how we feel about life. you gave us some things to reflect on and share too.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

09 Jul 2011, 2:33 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

TenPencePiece wrote:

It may be worth noting that only 30,000 have actually posted...
In any case, I do not want to contaminate this thread any further.

sokay Ten, i think we all benefited from taking a moment to think about how we feel about life. you gave us some things to reflect on and share too.

That is so true! It is not contamination, it is awesomation that we all got to think things out.

cdfox7
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,700

09 Jul 2011, 3:40 pm

-2. << this time lord is stuck an a slow regeneration. I lot of the time I feel am out of place in this world.
I feel I upset people for no reason and my life right now its a whirlwind of total chaos. I need to make changes both on the inside where my inner most demons are and on the outside. I need to keep on my quest of inner peace and to bring order to what I let and have in my life.

Is this world we live in to be viewed from the inside out or the outside in?
Someone once told me that I need enjoy my solitude
That same person called me an eccentric, I'll take that as a compliment than an insult
If I have to do this alone then so be it

jmnixon95
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Dec 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,931
Location: 미국

09 Jul 2011, 4:44 pm

+4

I'm okay today.

chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

09 Jul 2011, 4:56 pm

2 4 8 10 8 6 4 0 -2 -6 -10 -6 4 6 -4 0 2 3 4.5

I'm bipolar today.
And saying that brought me to a 4.7

TenPencePiece
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

09 Jul 2011, 4:57 pm

Now -1.

_________________
I'm always here, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Jul 2011, 5:04 pm

+5

i feel like i can really get through all this!

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

09 Jul 2011, 5:07 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:

Now -1.

Yay, that's up from -4!

Page 1179 of 2221 [ 35531 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 1176, 1177, 1178, 1179, 1180, 1181, 1182 ... 2221 Next

Jump to:

scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now? Post Reply New Topic

scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?