(C-)PTSD Thread

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I talked to my new CPTSD therapist a few days ago. It was a free, meet-and-greet chat to suss each other up and see if we were a fit. I liked her quite a bit but therapy won't start until about the fourth paid appointment. The first three appontments prior to that will be spent reviewing paperwork about confidentiality and my rights with freedom of information law. I know that's for my own good as well as hers, but I felt like telling her I don't care about that stuff because I just want to get started.

So far I haven't been allowed to say a thing about my life apart from listing my current diagnoses (voluntarily) when I first contacted her online. Anyway, when we finally get started on appointment Four we'll spend about three sessions with a deep-dive on my childhood and relationships with caregivers. Then about three on my adult trauma. After that (session 11?) we'll finally talk about therapeutic strategies.

She doesn't do CBT and agrees it's a poor fit for people with trauma, and especially autistics. She's primarily somatic and trauma-informed but she tailors her approach to clients' individual needs.

Please let me like her. The clock is ticking because my psych coverage will expire shortly.

Three appointments for paperwork seems excessive.
This usually only takes around 15 minutes, except if you need written reports.

I thought so too. My most recent one didn't do anything of the sort that I recall. My trauma guru did quite a bit of disclosure stuff but that's because the cops were involved with what had happened to me.

Part of it with this new one is reading about her treatment modalities or something like that? She asked me if I would prefer written or verbal information about her methods and I said written. But then again she said she won't know the modalities until she knows me so I'm confused.


I'm running on blind faith at this point. She seems very serious and professional for her fairly young age.

Hope the best for you with your new therapist...! Isabella..

I don’t remember my truama. It’s like blurry and fuzzy like a camera lens when it’s not focusing.

Is that because it happened when you were really young?

Yes and other things that have happened in 2020 is a blur.

Some of my adult memories are kind of fuzzy, especially two of my worst times. Since it went on for such a long time, I frequently think of something that I haven't thought about in a long while or that I didn't fully appreciate the significance of at the time for whatever reason. The brain does weird things to protect itself.

Yeah. I don’t really remember most things now. I don’t remember names. I have to think about it.

Sure could use more of that brain stuff to help ...me ..processing the situation is one thing , but some are so
egregious , that details keep popping up. They just dont scramble my brains as hard as before .

Yeah, stuff constantly pops up for me too, but it’s not usually everything at once. Often, it’s stuff that I still need to work through or process in some way because I was too busy trying to survive than to be fully cognizant about what was going on or the significance of certain stuff.

I’m sure there will always be things to work through, but I feel like everything is starting to fall into place in a way. Of course, maybe that’ll change too.

I think Covid gave me really bad ptsd to the point of severe depression. It was a bad time.

My ex’s birthday is tomorrow.

TW: SA

One of my exes was into that. ^
I didn't know at the time.
Thank goodness.

Another threatened that.

I rue the day your ex was born, regardless.

Anyway - on another note, here's a good comment about autistic groomers that I found on YouTube. I hope it's OK to reproduce it without their permission. It's exactly what we were saying here in the Groomer thread about our experiences with exploitative con artists.




On yet another note, I did the intake work with my trauma therapist after having a $192 meeting to talk about confidentiality law and her professional rules.

We really clicked in that meeting (or so I thought), and I liked her quite a bit. Then I did the intake papers online and sent them to her. She later informed me that we were NOT a good fit in her opinion, based on my written answers to the intake stuff. She believes I'm too autistic and that's not her area of expertise. Eye roll. I don't want autism help and quite frankly I don't expect her to know anything about autism. I only wanted trauma help.

Frown.

That means I spent $192 to learn her rules, but then got rejected on the personal intake paperwork which came afterward. Kind of makes you wonder why the intake papers don't happen BEFORE she makes people spend $192 to learn her rules? Something is very wrong with that.

The good news is she referred me to someone who is ND. I don't know if they're ASD or ADHD or both, but they have a PhD in CPTSD psychology, and they don't do CBT. I really didn't want CBT and the first one wasn't going to do it either. I'm just glad I have a backup option.

I'm meeting this second person tomorrow, and they have LOTS of availability in the next few weeks to move fast if I'm able to process that quickly.

Wish me luck.

At this point I'm scared to say very much, lest I be deemed "too autistic" again.

^ Yeah, my ex was threatening me based on context, tone, and other threats that he was making at the time.

That's a good quote. I agree with it 100%.

I would be really upset about being out $192. I really hope it works out with the new therapist though. It's cool that she's ND.

Good Luck on that second person Isabella ..hope they do not cost you another 192 .oo ,
Would have been pretty disgusted about that situation myself ...! Glad you got something out of the situation anyhow.....
And am thinking that , would have been seriously digusted with those people that you guys have described as exes.
Good reasons for them to be exes .