I am considering permanently leaving WP

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AnnieDog
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07 May 2008, 1:20 pm

You're not alone in the dating disasters. It seems to be the season for it.

I've been watching another friend, similar age, also on the spectrum and his seemingly ill-fated quest for love. I call him the Boy Scout, because he's kind, helpful, and handy. He's tried Match.com, eHarmony, and all that and it just keeps going badly. I thought the divinity school student had a lot of promise. She gave him an STD. (I can't make this stuff up.) The most recent woman was someone the Boy Scout met at school (he's going back for a second degree) and she gave him a really obtuse answer when he asked her out. "I don't like to mix my school and personal life - I prefer to keep those boxes separate." He misinterpreted this to mean that he still had a chance and kept up the pursuit when instead it was code for "no, no, no." He is crushed, pissed at me for telling him that her answer meant no, and generally grouchy again. He hung up on me twice in two days for "sounding judgmental". Deep down, I know he's really lonely and sad. He wants someone to love him, he wants to be needed, and he wants to have a kid. Without that, he feels like he's drifting.

Have some hope. I found my husband at work and I hated him when we first met. He was raised by devout Baptists that most closely resemble Ward and June Cleaver. I'm a witch raised by divorced people and my best friend is gay. Our backgrounds, families, education, all vastly different on paper. Yet he and I are actually very much alike - so much so that people still ask if we are brother and sister. It can take a long time to find that right person and it may be someone who is "all wrong".

Be patient and open and the blessings will come.

In the meantime please don't just leave. Look at the number of people who have responded to your post. The "you" that I see out on other forums is fun and welcoming. To me, you were like a spark in the dark when I first came here. You have made a difference to others, even if it seems small.


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Tim_Tex
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03 Jun 2008, 2:29 pm

I tried moving on and found another friend, but I also lost contact with that friend.


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Tim_Tex
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03 Jun 2008, 10:42 pm

gbollard wrote:
Tim,

I don't think the current situation has anything to do with issues you've raised recently. It's obviously wider than that - and it's been slowly worsening for a long time.

You need to get out of the situation while you can.

The atheist that you mention. Why is someone else's belief so important? Love is the same in any language right?

At least contact this other person - please?


I did, and I lost contact with her as well.


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MR_BOGAN
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03 Jun 2008, 10:48 pm

Actually Tim I think it might be good for you to take a break from WP for a while. No harm in that.

You have a massive amount of posts. I'm sure you have learned all you can from here.

I'm actually finding WP a bit addictive myself :?


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spudnik
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03 Jun 2008, 10:50 pm

A lot of relationships are not made up of what people have in common, but what makes them different, opposites do attract with couples,
You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have the facts of life.
The facts of life.

There's a time you gotta go and show
You're growin' now,
You know about the facts of life.
The facts of life.

When the world never seems,
To be living up to your dreams.
And suddenly you're finding out,
The facts of life are all about you.
All about you.
You-u-u-u,
A-ll about you.
It takes a lot to get em right,
But you're learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of li-fe.
Advice from Petter Griffen



Tim_Tex
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03 Jun 2008, 11:20 pm

My correspondence with the first friend (the subject of the thread) lasted a year. My correspondence with the second friend lasted 3 months. All other correspondences I attempt last maybe 3 days at most.

The problem is not them. The problem is me. I am a freak and a loser.


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gbollard
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03 Jun 2008, 11:46 pm

Tim,

No way are you a loser. Stop being so hard on yourself.

What happened with the other friend? You said you lost contact?

is that like...
a. Lost her contact details?
b. She won't respond
c. She responds with "go away"
d. Other (please specify).



Tim_Tex
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03 Jun 2008, 11:55 pm

She used to be online nearly every day, but suddenly isn't online anymore.

No reason given.


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makuranososhi
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04 Jun 2008, 12:42 am

A freak and a loser? I think not... You're the most persistently friendly voice that I observed here.. something that I'm not accustomed to but not unappreciative of. I'm terrible at starting conversation, but here... between the efforts yourself and so many others, there is a chance to speak and be heard, even if by one other lost soul. We all need vacations, but I do hope you'll be around... if nothing else, those of us who are new could use your input.


M.


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04 Jun 2008, 12:48 am

Tim,

Any woman in their right mind would be crazy over you. Most women don't like the "gangsta" persona like the media portrays as the thing that gets women. They want a sensible guy like you that will love them and treat them like they should be.

But don't give up on ever finding love. Sometimes you just have to let it find you. Who knows, it might even be more exciting that way. :)


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greenblue
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04 Jun 2008, 1:01 am

makuranososhi wrote:
A freak and a loser? I think not... You're the most persistently friendly voice that I observed here

Social_Fantom wrote:
Tim,

Any woman in their right mind would be crazy over you. Most women don't like the "gangsta" persona like the media portrays as the thing that gets women. They want a sensible guy like you that will love them and treat them like they should be.

I agree, either way, you certainly can't be worse than me, I even have problems talking to anyone online through PM or IM, that is why I can't see myself having a good frienship online, much less a relationship.


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gbollard
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04 Jun 2008, 1:08 am

Have you tried emailing her? Direct Phone?

You need to find out if she's avoiding you. If so, knowing the reason would be good too.

More than likely, she's not online because of some other reason and you're just reading too much into it.



Tim_Tex
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04 Jun 2008, 1:42 am

gbollard wrote:
Have you tried emailing her? Direct Phone?

You need to find out if she's avoiding you. If so, knowing the reason would be good too.

More than likely, she's not online because of some other reason and you're just reading too much into it.


IM is the only way I can contact her.


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Deus_Imperator
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04 Jun 2008, 3:48 am

Please stay Tim_Tex, ever since I joined you've been here. You're one of the greatest people on this site and we will all miss you if you go.

Besides which, I'm your friend. (Even if you don't realise it).


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Tim_Tex
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04 Jun 2008, 12:14 pm

I haven't heard from my friend (the one that's the subject of this thread) in over a month.

I am worried that she has permanently cut me out of her life, even as a friend.


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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 04 Jun 2008, 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kalister1
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04 Jun 2008, 2:15 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
I am considering leaving WP because I feel that I have not made much of a difference on here. I have made maybe one or two friends on here, but that's it.

I have tried to be a good role model by being as mature and goal- and career-oriented as possible, but that has not reaped any benefits.

So, I feel there's no place on here for me anymore.

I can be reached at my e-mail address, [email protected], on Yahoo or AIM at timhomer2002, and on MSN at timhomer2008.


Your my hero :(