scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+2
Tired and worried I'll not get enough sleep for tomorrow.

I can't, I'm not tired enough.

I'm doing far better, today. The whole day, really... even if I woke up very late. It's been everything from a neutral 0 to -1. That's pretty good for me... :B

And my bonsai has no bugs in it, after all. I've been taking care of it, earlier, soaking it, and the bugs should've come up if they were there.... so yeah, great. :) I can take it to my apartment, without a problem, after all, now... I'm rather glad about that. =_=

-10, that took long enough didnt it?

-10
major failure with some pizza making practice
rather frustrated and pissed off with wasted effort and more

+2

-6

What's the matter, MXH and Titangeek? Or what are the matters?

I'm contemplating suicide due to irreversible bagginess under my eyes caused by avoidable squinting. If only I'd had the wherewithal to get the insurance forms processed so I could keep seeing that eye specialist. Also due to rejection. Also due to the cruelty of life in general.

I look old now. I don't want to be alive anymore.

-10

+10, off to bed.

I'm sorry about the depression Titangeek. Are you seeing a therapist?

Also "being a chicken" can be reframed as "being cautious and not moving until you've gathered all te information possible to be able to judge that you're making the right decision" and social ineptitude is social ineptitude... I understand, of course, but what yougain in being different socially and what others gain from your different ways of interaction are proabbly not something that you or they would wantto give up if given the chance. I don't know, I can't speak for you and am obviously trying to see the bright side of things, but I do truly believe that differences are advantages and differences also stick out, so there you have that two-sided coin.

Yeah, i am.
And the chicken thing is related to the social ineptitude, at least in this case

"depression+social ineptitude+me being a chicken" and add being a failure and unwanted

Titangeek - I know that nout having the courage to be social in the way you want to be (if that's what you are referring to) is very frustrating. But I will say there are advantages to being the hold-back-til-you're really-sure-about-the-situation type. Maybe that's not very helpful now but in the future I hope there will be a point when you can appreciate the merits of your cautious nature.

MXH - no one is a failure. That's such a broad statement it's meaningless. veryone is the best at something because everyone is unique, there's not a person on earth like you soyou've spent your life honing a talent that may be hard to identify and define but is the sum of your most frequent and meaningfrul experiences. If you haven't gotten what you wanted in the past the glass will eventually be filled and will overflow and your unique talent, the thing you're best at in the world, your purpose, will have nowhere to go but out into the world where people will gain from it and appreciate it like no other. And in that state you will not be unwanted. But You are never truly unwanted, it's more a case of the people who would want you not knowing of you because your specialness is still latent within you and not in plain sight. That's the best I can say and I hope it means something to you.

Also I've said it before but All Is Full of Love by Bjork is a very good song for people feeling unwanted and lost and hopeless.

I edited this because my keyboard froze midway and I posted a half-finished thing by the way.