Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear Kelvin,

I had a dream about you the other night. I woke up wondering how you are in real life. I wanted to contact you but guess there isn't much point. Let the memory stopped where we were. What we had was beautiful. I forever miss those short and passionate sparks between us.

Love,
Melbi

Yes, I can see. I totally forgot that I typed ''charming psychopath'' in my post and was mystified and shocked as to why you were being confrontational out of the blue (considering how I've been lately I thought you were trying to push me over the edge to make me hurt myself again). I sent last nights PM without even reading what was here.

I guess my first BF was kinda like that (used me for sex) but he never left me. I left him in the end.

No, I don't want to ever hurt you [or anyone] on purpose; it's something I cannot actually do, but I don't want to either, so they both fit.

If he was one, he probably would have tried to get back at you in some way for leaving him; though the plans for such can be long in the making, so it might not be an immediate thing (impulsive behaviour is still intermixed with social cunning, and some have more patience than others). They want to make others feel like how they did (they only care about their feelings). Plus, they'll constantly lie for their own gain, and they'll never admit fault at all, as they truly can't see what they do as being a bad thing. They don't let others know of their plans and what they do, they just do it, and they'll deny it all until the proof is right in front of them (they can't trick people if people know everything). They're also really good at manipulating others into thinking that they are the victim; like if he had friends, in the least he'd be lying about you and saying all the horrible things that you did to him (which you didn't actually do), and they're awesome at turning "normal" people against each other. They're also awesome at saying the right social stuff to get what they want (there's always a nefarious purpose to their social approaches).

In the end, they're just people who actually appear to believe their own lies and have no guilt and remorse. Luckily, you most likely won't run into one, as they're usually in jail or hanging out in social circles (or scoping out their next victim in the shadows if they're a quiet type). They're completely opposite to someone with an ASD (who come with their own unique challenges, but they usually don't want to hurt others, just like normal people).

Dear two certain members,

We still don't care about your private lives, and the forum has a PM function.

Sincerely, Asp-Z.

Dear Aimless, I've not heard from you in some time as, I'm hoping that your doing well and all?


Sincerely,
ProfessorX

Well, the breakup with me and him was rather smooth actually and as far as I know his friends and family still like me. Sounds like you think you have me all figured out though.

What do you mean? Do you recognize yourself in what I wrote? Well, I was just pointing out how a psychopath will behave in a certain circumstance (in reply to what you said and whether your ex-BF might have been one).

As far as I can tell (doctor Daniel, so take that for its uneducated opinion. Though I've been right numerous times with others), you aren't anywhere near a psychopath in behaviour and personal history. I was never able to put a label on you so you could receive help, as you didn't fit any of the disorders I know a bit about.

Dear shit-for-brains in the shopping centre,

Please don't stand behind me and shout. It hurts, and it is illegal for me to hurt you back.

Thank you kindly,

- Rachel

No, not at all, but some people might think I'm such based on things I've done lately (see: "manipulative", "social games"). It sounded like you were referring to me in a subtle way, but oh well, my mistake. Sorry.

I know what label I fit now, but nobody other than Melbi and a mental health professional would believe me .

Dear Ly,

Yes, you said that we should stop checking IP addresses on the Post Secret account- right after your friend got caught out using it to harass other members, wasn't it? I don't remember agreeing, though. Your demands do not constitute an agreement.
If someone makes anything that could be construed as an attack on one of the inner circle, you and the other vocal ones bay for their blood, but if one of your friends makes a blatant personal attack, that's different. They had good reasons- the other person was annoying, or something, and totally deserved it.
And of course there is a consensus on issues such as this- consensus, of course, meaning that if anyone disagrees with the 3 or 4 most vocal people, they are ignoring and/or shouted down.

It's no wonder I don't post much anymore on that messageboard; it's left a bad taste in my mouth ever since I became a moderator and got to see what some people are really like.

- Rachel

Dear Kyaan's parents,

Please let me know if your son is going to be at his piano lesson. You probably think that if you just turn up out of the blue I can deal with it and I'll just think "Oh good, that nice little boy Kyaan is here; what a nice surprise! ".
You're half right. I do like your son. However, while you'll never see any signs during the lesson that I'm stressed by his being there unexpectedly, this is because when I'm in public, I use iron self-control to stay "together" at all times. When I get home, all the stress comes out in a meltdown, which my head and wrists really don't like.
Next week I'm going for a walk during his lesson time. You haven't shown up for 3 or 4 weeks; you can't just expect me to be there the next time. I have the full support of the owner of the music teaching studio on this- even without knowing how much unpredictability hurts me, he understands my position- because your behaviour has gone into the realm of rudeness.
Also, please, for the love of God, get your son a piano, or batteries for his keyboard, and BUY THE DAMN TUITION BOOK! He is never going to make any damn progress if the only time he sees a piano or has access to learning resources is in his lesson.

- Your son's teacher

To Joseph,

Your postcard was the most adorable thing I've seen in a while. I'm not surprised you like Switzerland, what with the clocks and all.
I miss you too- you're one of the easiest students I have.

- Your clarinet/recorder teacher

Dear Myself, I'm constantly trying to be uinderstood though a great amount of my work simply winds up like water in a stream i.e easily lost..Well, I'll keep trying..



Sincerely,
ProfessorX

Dear "MsY",

Can you please stop stalking me on the other forum I post on? I'm starting to get too perplexed about the intent and the purpose of such an act. Maybe you think I'm some pathetic 6 year old who needs supervision from a self appointed nanny on the internet. Or maybe you're just monitoring my posts waiting for me to say something bad so you can use it against me to make a certain somebody lose even more care for me (and hence making me want to hurt myself again). Maybe you're just deeply insecure and paranoid about me trying ruin your happiness (y'know if I was out to do that I would have done it by now. I could very well return fire for what you tried to take away from me that time but I'm not going to). Maybe you're just doing it to try and intimidate and scare me, who knows. Whatever your intent is, I've made your presence there known to everyone, and they'll all be sure to keep an eye out for your next visit to my profile. Sitting back and just letting you continue seemed like the wrong thing to do.

Regards,
YOUR.........(oh you know who I am)

To my brain,

You are being f*****g ridiculous. Noone is trying to kill you. If they are, they're inept, because they could have killed you when you slept.
You cannot make people die by checking your email at the "wrong" times. That goes with anything that involves "zOMG everyone who I love will die unless I do this at this precise second!".
You are not writing offensive things to people and then erasing all evidence of them at the last minute, thus making people hate you. They would have asked about it if you were.
There are no poisonous substances in your bedroom that your dog is going to eat and die.
You do not leave the gate open so that the dog can escape. You know perfectly well that you're always very careful to shut it properly.

Just when I thought I was ok, I'm now again dreading going to bed because of your nonsense.
I can't hit you too much to make you behave, because, well, it hurts, and you do some things very well. So just... stop. Please. Ok?

Thank you kindly,

- Your owner

Dear monster inside me,

You have reached, crawled and expanded into every inch of my mind. You are not just a parasite anymore, you are part of me now, and there is no way to exterminate you without me dying. You are controlling me at this very moment. See what happens now that I'm alone with only my thoughts and you? You make me obsess and scream again and torture me with guilt, reminding me of how I screwed up things I once had. You're making me think of those packets of pills I have in my room, but I won't get up to get them, I must defy you. What did I do to deserve to be born with you?

Your host,
blue_bean

Dear Mother,

You keep calling me irresponsible and getting upset at me for putting off paperwork that is yet to be due, but then I find out that you didn't even turn in the VITAL financial aid form AND fix the mistake on the FAFSA form that you told me you had done already. I might not get aid this semester now and that means I might not be able to go to University for half a year. Thanks. And you know what, telling me not to worry and that things work out is crap advice! Not everythign works out, especially if you don't do something to work at solving the problem yourself.

Next time you feel the need to get all up in arms because I don't do something two weeks before it's due, remember that you waited three weeks before even telling me that "oh yea, remember when I told you I solved the financial aid form issue, well that wasn't exactly true." (But don't worry about it, it isn't a problem I'm sure!)

Dear Melbi,

Another semester starts tomorrow.

You have label on your head, and some people look at you as a Autism+depressed psycho. But it doesn't matter.

You are there to learn, and there are also people who are supportive.

Be confident, and brave!

You will be alright =)

Much Love,
mini Melbi inside your heart