Say something positive about yourself.

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People say I'm a good friend and that I'm nice. They say that, even though I'm not a big talker, I make it count when I do. Although there are some everyday conversations I can't be a part of (marriage, children), my functioning in daily life is improving and I am more a part of regular conversations now.

I try to act accordingly in an honorable fashion, but sometimes get into conflicts within my real life

I'm obnoxious

I make a good sandwich

I keep on f*****g up

I always try to find something helpful & beneficial to help any/all

I like to dance to have innocent fun.

I firmly believe that I am a viable person.

As my new shirt reads
Autism does not define me.

I've always wanted to see something truly beautiful like kind deeds. It's so hard to learn without them.

I really don't want to die.
What I want for myself is to be financially stable, free, and able to love and be loved.
Unfortunately, the latter is not possible.

I understand what you are saying.
The very last sentence can be overcome though.

As for this thread:

I can see the beauty of snow.

Why can’t you be loved, Magneto?

I've done some good here and there.

Have you done it there and here, too?

It's better to want to do little good deeds than to want to do little bad deeds.

I have some very neutral days---but I do have days where I help people a little bit.

I'm not entirely sure. But there are a number of factors which I think are contributing to this. The first and most obvious is just being socially inept.

And I'm an Atheist trapped in the middle of the Bible Belt.

My step-father is from Libya, and I grew up there. In that culture, men and women are heavily segregated in society. Boys and girls go to separate schools. For social events, there are separate guest rooms for men and women. Males and females simply do not interact outside of family except for in very limited, controlled and heavily monitored situations. Women can get in some very serious trouble with their families if they're caught talking to men on the phone. So I never had any opportunities to learn how to approach or talk to women. I returned to the US to go to college when I was 20, and even sitting next to a woman at a cafeteria table was a new and strange experience for me.

Add to that the Islamic religious indoctrination which filled my head with damaging ideas about what constitutes a "proper lady". I remember at least one or two women who seemed to be trying to capture my attention at one point or another during my college years, but were too far outside of my comfort zone. It also did not help that I had drilled into my head that when I do find a proper lady I have to jump into marriage immediately, which just doesn't work in American culture. I feel like if there was some way I could turn back time and relive my college years armed with what I have learned since then, my chances would improve.

But that was back then.

Now, there simply is not an adequate pool of single women in the appropriate age range available anymore. Everyone is taken. It's simply too late now. The older I get, the more difficult it is to meet people. And the longer I remain chronically single, the more my self-esteem and hope dwindles, and the less attractive I become. By my age, men are expected to have accumulated a wealth of "experience", and the longer I remain single the more suspicions it arouses. "I like a partner who knows what he's doing", "He'll blow his load after one or two minutes", and "There must be a reason he's stayed single for so long" are common comments people like me receive. It's a never-ending negative feedback loop; a dwindling spiral of despair which perpetuates itself infinitely.

I hope that answers your question.

I'm still trying to believe there's Hope for us all.

I am a really good artist and rock at out of the box thinking.