Dear my boyfriend's weirdo female best friend,
You are an unbelievable b***h.
Firstly, you disgust me to the core for last summer when you were posting messages like "I love you." and "I am your one and only" and "There is no-one like you" etc. all over his Facebook page, and your excuse was "I was nearly raped."
...
You sent me this in a text message casually mentioning it as if it's just one of those things that bugs us now and then... I\m absolutely outraged and will never EVER forgive you for this! HOW DARE you treat such a horrific crime as casually as this!! I think I know a thing or two about being "nearly raped" and I think you need to f*****g cop on and have even a tiny morsel of consideration for those who really have suffered sexual abuse. You think that getting drunk with a strange guy and ending up snogging him is "nearly rape"?? How think do you think people are? But of course, you pretty much forced your poor best friend, my beloved boyfriend, into taking for absolute truth, because he's too nice and often scared to say no to you. I have no idea how he can be best friends with a dirty manipulative prick like you sending him on guilt trips every time you're cranky. He deserves far FAR better than you and I hope one day he sees you for what you truly are, selfish wag.
Secondly, are you SERIOUSLY not over your jealousy after us being together for a year and a half now?? You twit! You have your own boyfriend, you're still best friends with my boyfriend, I've never stopped you two from hanging out, I've never actually done anything to you apart from ranting about your screwed up actions like I am now. You are the only one of the three of us who decided to turn the relationship into a soap opera, but sadly that soap opera is all in your own head you maniac! My boyfriend and I have not once tried to stop you from being part of his life any more. You are the one who chose to get pissy and you started blanking me, started giving my boyfriend more physical affection in front of me, started suddenly trying to steal my best friend which was absolutely hilarious for us because you had never EVER expressed the remotest bit of interest in HIM before! It's an insult to him and more so to yourself to think that he'd be thick enough to fall for that, and that he'd start wanting to hang out with you instead! Now, all this time later, you still give me the silent treatment and make the odd attempt to steal my best friend who just plays along to keep you happy and then has a "WTF?" conversation with me afterwards, which is always very entertaining.
I have never in my life come across such a freak. You treat your best friend like s**t and are actually convinced it's perfectly right for you to do that, and won't admit that you're sexually attracted to him (LOL), you keep giving me the silent treatment which means that you're definitely still jealous which is just pathetic and childish (a year and a half, come on like!), you randomly try to make my best friend like you more which has and will never work because you treat him like he's a lesser being than you for no reason whatsoever and it's such an insult to him that you should dare pretend to be nice to him on those occasions that you think it will be hurtful to me. It doesn't work, you're making a laughing stock of yourself, and I'm loving every laugh I get out of you! Pity you had to ruin the fun by abusing the term "rape" and hence everyone who has suffered it or other sexual abuse.
You disgust me and are an embarrassment to have in the world.
I hope my boyfriend's eyes are opened some time soon. Because I don't keep secrets from him about how you make me feel.
Yours in rage, bewilderment and amusement at the same time,
Me!