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HelloMeD
Deinonychus
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11 Apr 2010, 12:38 am

pumibel wrote:
But Darrell you have to think about this: If they were really able to implant this device and test you then why are all these child molesters still out being caught after they have victimized many kids? Why aren't they using it on the real predators who are out there destroying the lives of innocent people? Why would they concentrate this much time, money, and resources on someone like you, who may have done something illegal once, as a minor and obviously is remorseful. Think about all the resources the cops or FBI would be using just for you. You are not a likely target for this. And have you seen or read bout all the trials that go on in this country? That b***h Casey Anthony is still locked up and everyone knows she killed her kid. It has been months since they found the poor baby. She has not been tried yet. That is one of thousands of examples of how our justice system works.

I would believe aliens had implanted you before I would belief the cops have Darrell. Please consider what you are thinking and believing from a rational point of view- how would it look to you if someone else were to come to you with this sort of thing- someone you know is a good person, like you, who just isn't a criminal or sick deviant of some sort.

If praying helped you, maybe some deep meditation can help too. Give it a try and keep your mind on happier things, try to block out all of this stuff that is worrying you so badly.
I will try day by day to get better and hope that they are not going to come for me. I still feel that I need to talk on this forum and this thread has been my lifeline. my mother wont talk to me about this and that is what makes it so hard. I really need to talk about this and keep talking about it. the police watch me and know alot about how I live but they dont understand that I became the person they hated or diliked until I knew I was watched and how upset it made me.



Claradoon
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11 Apr 2010, 2:09 am

Hi Darrell.

I've been absent because I had docs & dentist etc. to visit. Even one of those wipes me out for a day; I'm not very strong. Especially transit is a pain in the.

Please tell me this: have you seen a psychiatrist lately? I don't mean psychologist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in the brain.

I know you saw somebody and you're seeing him again this week, I think? Was that a psychologist or psychiatrist or something else?



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11 Apr 2010, 8:55 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Hi Darrell.

I've been absent because I had docs & dentist etc. to visit. Even one of those wipes me out for a day; I'm not very strong. Especially transit is a pain in the.

Please tell me this: have you seen a psychiatrist lately? I don't mean psychologist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in the brain.

I know you saw somebody and you're seeing him again this week, I think? Was that a psychologist or psychiatrist or something else?

All I know is that he can prescribe medicen.



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11 Apr 2010, 9:05 pm

From what I understand the psychiatrist can prescribe, but not the psychologist- they are for talk therapy.



HelloMeD
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11 Apr 2010, 9:54 pm

pumibel wrote:
From what I understand the psychiatrist can prescribe, but not the psychologist- they are for talk therapy.
I thought it was the other way around. o well. anyway the police dont care which is which. I think I know why they havent com for me yet. they where doing an evaluation and the DA got mad and stopped it and patched more charges because somthing I typed and they are not going to go easy on me anymore but there is still the evaluation period that was placed there that still isnt up yet. I am scared that they are going to come for me in a few months. they say that evaluation periods are about six months. I just wish that they would have done a conventional evaluation and put me in for a while. nothing that has happened has been fair. they needed to talk to me and they didnt if that whould have happened there would have been more progress.



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11 Apr 2010, 10:26 pm

HelloMeD wrote:
pumibel wrote:
From what I understand the psychiatrist can prescribe, but not the psychologist- they are for talk therapy.
I thought it was the other way around. o well. anyway the police dont care which is which. I think I know why they havent com for me yet. they where doing an evaluation and the DA got mad and stopped it and patched more charges because somthing I typed and they are not going to go easy on me anymore but there is still the evaluation period that was placed there that still isnt up yet. I am scared that they are going to come for me in a few months. they say that evaluation periods are about six months. I just wish that they would have done a conventional evaluation and put me in for a while. nothing that has happened has been fair. they needed to talk to me and they didnt if that whould have happened there would have been more progress.


Darrell, you are going there again to that bad place in your head. How did you figure that the DA got mad and started coming up with more charges? This just doesn't make any sense. "They" don't have you monitored and are not coming for you. It doesn't make sense that all this technology and all of these people would be dedicated to catching you when there are real offenders out there trolling for victims right now. There are real criminals that they are waiting for evidence on because they do not have the ability to monitor people the way you claim they are monitoring you. It just isn't like that.

This is exactly what real paranoia is all about. It is irrational and it is debilitating. People talk far too lightly about paranoia. I really wish your doctor had been more proactive with you on the last visit. I hope you are telling him everything you are telling us. Could you print some of this thread out and take it to him this week?



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11 Apr 2010, 10:39 pm

HelloMeD wrote:
All I know is that he can prescribe medicen.

Okay, so that means he's either a psychiatrist or a family doctor. When you see him this week, could you ask if he's a psychiatrist? And if he's not, ask him to refer you t a psychiatrist?



HelloMeD
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11 Apr 2010, 10:58 pm

pumibel wrote:
HelloMeD wrote:
pumibel wrote:
From what I understand the psychiatrist can prescribe, but not the psychologist- they are for talk therapy.
I thought it was the other way around. o well. anyway the police dont care which is which. I think I know why they havent com for me yet. they where doing an evaluation and the DA got mad and stopped it and patched more charges because somthing I typed and they are not going to go easy on me anymore but there is still the evaluation period that was placed there that still isnt up yet. I am scared that they are going to come for me in a few months. they say that evaluation periods are about six months. I just wish that they would have done a conventional evaluation and put me in for a while. nothing that has happened has been fair. they needed to talk to me and they didnt if that whould have happened there would have been more progress.


Darrell, you are going there again to that bad place in your head. How did you figure that the DA got mad and started coming up with more charges? This just doesn't make any sense. "They" don't have you monitored and are not coming for you. It doesn't make sense that all this technology and all of these people would be dedicated to catching you when there are real offenders out there trolling for victims right now. There are real criminals that they are waiting for evidence on because they do not have the ability to monitor people the way you claim they are monitoring you. It just isn't like that.

This is exactly what real paranoia is all about. It is irrational and it is debilitating. People talk far too lightly about paranoia. I really wish your doctor had been more proactive with you on the last visit. I hope you are telling him everything you are telling us. Could you print some of this thread out and take it to him this week?

I can hear people talking about me in the next room, I just hope that there is hope. I am not an evil person I am not the best. I know that I have made mistakes but do I really deserve the punishment that puts me in for fourty years? What sort of offense as a teen should deserve forty years as a punishment?



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12 Apr 2010, 12:04 am

Darrell we know you are not a bad person. I think that everyone had their moments of weakness and make mistakes. I think you are not worse than I if we were to compare all the good and bad things we have done. I really doubt you have done anything that will put you in jail.

There are teens who get life in prison- far more than 40 years, but they killed someone. That is who the police monitor and track- people who have committed real crimes and they need evidence to convict them. The police cannot gather evidence now for a moment you spent as a kid unless you killed someone.

You should write down all of your thoughts and fears and take this to your doctor this week. If you are scared just leave out any details of a crime- be vague about that if you want. Tell the doc that you have been feeling persecuted, like people are spying on you, gathering evidence about you. Be sure to tell him about the drugs you used to take (like the Risperdal I mean) and about the implants you think are in your body. You need to disclose all of this in order for him to know how seriously this is affecting you. It is good to make yourself notes. I cannot go to the doctor without notes or I will not get out what I need to say.

BTW- are you taking anything besides what is prescribed for you?



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12 Apr 2010, 12:15 am

pumibel wrote:
Darrell we know you are not a bad person. I think that everyone had their moments of weakness and make mistakes. I think you are not worse than I if we were to compare all the good and bad things we have done. I really doubt you have done anything that will put you in jail.

There are teens who get life in prison- far more than 40 years, but they killed someone. That is who the police monitor and track- people who have committed real crimes and they need evidence to convict them. The police cannot gather evidence now for a moment you spent as a kid unless you killed someone.

You should write down all of your thoughts and fears and take this to your doctor this week. If you are scared just leave out any details of a crime- be vague about that if you want. Tell the doc that you have been feeling persecuted, like people are spying on you, gathering evidence about you. Be sure to tell him about the drugs you used to take (like the Risperdal I mean) and about the implants you think are in your body. You need to disclose all of this in order for him to know how seriously this is affecting you. It is good to make yourself notes. I cannot go to the doctor without notes or I will not get out what I need to say.

BTW- are you taking anything besides what is prescribed for you?


I know what I will do I will show him this thread and if he reads through it he will get the gist of things. that would work. at first the thread was about thinking logically about already being convicted of a crime but now it is about being afraid still of getting convicted. I still think that they are waiting to convict me I dont know what is going to happen or if they are going to show me mercy. I dont know. no one will talk to me. I am scared because no one will let me get closure. though I dont want to get closure in the way that I am going to prison for the rest of my life which forty years is just as good in my opinion. I am just scared. I dont know what to do if I am going to prison. I am not an evil person that needs to go to prison for forty years and the law is the law. what can I do if the law will not recognise that I am not an evil person that deserves to go to prison for forty years.



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12 Apr 2010, 12:19 am

It will be OK. You should let the doc look at this so he will know how to treat you for the problem you are having. I wonder if your current medication is doing it? Psychotropics have some really bothersome and alarming side effects sometimes, and one drug will interact with another in ways you couldn't imagine. Don't stop taking anything on your own though because that can really mess you up. I have personal experience on that one.



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12 Apr 2010, 12:49 am

pumibel wrote:
It will be OK. You should let the doc look at this so he will know how to treat you for the problem you are having. I wonder if your current medication is doing it? Psychotropics have some really bothersome and alarming side effects sometimes, and one drug will interact with another in ways you couldn't imagine. Don't stop taking anything on your own though because that can really mess you up. I have personal experience on that one.
I wont stop taking any of the medicen that he prescribes anymore unless he tells me to. I hope that the words that I have written on wrong planet can get through to ether my mother or my srink. I wish that I felt secure thought that it is me being mentally unfit or somthing like that. then I wouldent worry so much. I feel that my mental state is going to pots because I cannot think of anything else but the things happaning to me. I try to watch my dragonball and dragonball z anime's but I get distracted by my affairs and upset again.



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12 Apr 2010, 1:44 pm

Usually the best stuff to distract your mind is busy work. I have a lot of that on any given day, but if you have a hobby that takes a lot of concentration, like painting miniatures or putting together models, it is far better than a TV show for distraction.



HelloMeD
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12 Apr 2010, 4:29 pm

pumibel wrote:
Usually the best stuff to distract your mind is busy work. I have a lot of that on any given day, but if you have a hobby that takes a lot of concentration, like painting miniatures or putting together models, it is far better than a TV show for distraction.
what I normally do to distract myself is play video games. I particulerly play most often is oblivion. I get into leveling my character and I get repetitve about it. I dont know what a stim or stem is but I would gess that that would be one of mine aside from pacing. I find anime is my relefe aswell whene I can engross myself. though recently thinking the reson why they where after me in the first place was the downloaded anime collection I had I got scared and destroyed most of my anime. I have gone broke trying to get what I can from wallmart in the way of anime. still waiting for some of it to catch up to what has been aired in japan. the snail pace of things bothers me greatly.



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12 Apr 2010, 5:57 pm

HelloMeD wrote:
pumibel wrote:
Usually the best stuff to distract your mind is busy work. I have a lot of that on any given day, but if you have a hobby that takes a lot of concentration, like painting miniatures or putting together models, it is far better than a TV show for distraction.
what I normally do to distract myself is play video games. I particulerly play most often is oblivion. I get into leveling my character and I get repetitve about it. I dont know what a stim or stem is but I would gess that that would be one of mine aside from pacing. I find anime is my relefe aswell whene I can engross myself. though recently thinking the reson why they where after me in the first place was the downloaded anime collection I had I got scared and destroyed most of my anime. I have gone broke trying to get what I can from wallmart in the way of anime. still waiting for some of it to catch up to what has been aired in japan. the snail pace of things bothers me greatly.


What were you downloading? Title? I doubt it was illegal. You can always watch online- there is the anime network and lots of sites that show hundreds of titles.



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12 Apr 2010, 6:12 pm

pumibel wrote:
HelloMeD wrote:
pumibel wrote:
Usually the best stuff to distract your mind is busy work. I have a lot of that on any given day, but if you have a hobby that takes a lot of concentration, like painting miniatures or putting together models, it is far better than a TV show for distraction.
what I normally do to distract myself is play video games. I particulerly play most often is oblivion. I get into leveling my character and I get repetitve about it. I dont know what a stim or stem is but I would gess that that would be one of mine aside from pacing. I find anime is my relefe aswell whene I can engross myself. though recently thinking the reson why they where after me in the first place was the downloaded anime collection I had I got scared and destroyed most of my anime. I have gone broke trying to get what I can from wallmart in the way of anime. still waiting for some of it to catch up to what has been aired in japan. the snail pace of things bothers me greatly.


What were you downloading? Title? I doubt it was illegal. You can always watch online- there is the anime network and lots of sites that show hundreds of titles.

the fbi dont take kindly to you downloading files over bittorrent that you havent payed for. though I am into the whole unlicensed deal whene I can find an anime that hasnt been licensed on scarywater especially. I think that I may pay a visit to scarywater again or anime suki they have unlicenced titles that you can watch. though the Idea of unlicensed is in limbo legally right now. I am watching on hulu and Utube anime and the anime network has few titles that you can watch without registering. the problem with online titles is that I only have 256k download speed on my broadband right now. until the end of this month I wont have any more speed than that until I rework my yearly plan out to 1.5mb connect.