(C-)PTSD Thread

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I used to only get visual flashbacks, but lately, I've been getting ones involving the other senses as well. They seem to bother me more. Maybe it's just that I'm more used to the visual ones. My PTSD has been really bad lately. One of my New Years goals will be to get my insurance sorted and to seek appropriate mental health services. I would like to try a different type of therapy than I've tried in the past, and I'd like to get a medical marijuana card.

Sweet Pea hugs for all of you.

Thank youfrom me ..! Sweet Pea ...!

Here is a very clear explanation of the way triggers affect people with CPTSD.
The video was recommended by my new trauma therapist.

I think it does a good job of explaining why people with CPTSD act the way they do.




https://youtu.be/nZnJMyNT620?si=xxJY2fyGvxiJUClC


The Window of Tolerance - By Beacon House

* Playback is prohibited on WP but if people click the "Watch on YT" link it should work.

^ Thank you for sharing! That was very helpful. I'm going to try to pay more attention to triggers. Sometimes I experience symptoms without knowing what triggered them, not that I typically make the conscious effort to figure it out. To make it through long-term, abusive situations, pushing stuff away often becomes the default. It's what you do to survive. Even with a lot of work, it still lingers.

I have CPTSD. I had blocked out most of my childhood due to this. I recently began therapy to address this so I could learn and understand, which has added to my healing process. I am beginning to remember my childhood in bits and pieces which is helping me to create a more whole me (especially the good times which there were not many of). I do feel separate from my body at times and from my past like it is someone else I am remembering. And functioning is not as great as it could be. It is hard for me to leave my house. But as I remember my past, I am able to reclaim what I "lost" or did not ever really own in the first place.

Having people tell me "don't overthink it" and phrases like that grate on my nerves but I try to let it go. Explaining would be pointless.

I don't like it when people say stuff like that too. It IS grating. When I push stuff away and try not to think about it, I end up feeling nothing at all, except for when I'm triggered anyway. It's not a good way to go through life.

Good for you for starting therapy. It's a difficult journey, but for most people, it's a worthwhile one.

^^

Welcome to WP and to this thread.

I hate, hate, HATE being told not to overthink it, or not to "let it" bother me.
I mean, like the logical people say, if I could stop my doom loops I would.

I'm glad you are starting therapy.
It's a very tough process wherein it often gets worse before it gets (a little) better.

I'm just starting a new trauma doctor with DBT and other methods.
I really like and trust her, but it's going to be hell unpacking stuff I've shut away.

I'm expecting something close to a breakdown in the next couple of months.
The hard part is that she'll need to know "everything" before anything will make sense.

There's a lot of stuff from early childhood I don't know much about either.
It's frustrating because that was formative.

A book I love on CPTSD and early trauma is Kim Barthel & Theo Fleury's Conversations with a Rattlesnake.
It's also about adult trauma / SA, but the infancy chapters are really helpful.


Kim is a PTSD Occupational Therapist.
I think I need to find of those, myself.






https://youtu.be/_LPBzZuAJ0I?si=xqA7OdX62AmR--b-

Have been through DBT therapy .. it was subtley helpful..but it seemed to be effective ..
I like to refer to it as " reframing tberapy". It may not feel as if it is directly helping at first,at least for me.
But as I went on with my life . Found it quite helpful. Even with triggers .. but sometimes , the trigger happens so fast . That it is hours afterwards ,before I consider other veiws ,on my trigger . That could be equally true .
Then slowly that most immediate triggers , that want to disable my life , ( for ever how long they might).
Are resolved more quickly in my mind with out long term , mental attn. to that most recent trigger .
Allowing me to give attn , where it belongs . With more immediate life happenings.That do not rely on old bad experiences . That may or maynot have been resolved .
Welcome to new members of WP ...just btw

I'd like to do psychotherapy. I feel like I mostly just need to talk and to learn how to talk. Sometimes I think about telling my brother, but the shame just runs too deep for that. I know he'd be supportive but a part of me wonders: what if he isn't? Yeah, not very rational, but this kind of thing usually isn't. If someone knew, I might feel less alone.

I'm in awe of my therapist.
She's won my trust and I respect her beyond measure.
Tuesday's session was so much smoother than I expected.
I thought I'd fall to bits with some of the childhood stuff.
That's where I'm starting.
I decided to be somewhat chronological, or I wouldn't make sense.
She needs to know how I got to my lowest points.

I didn't fall apart at all.
I don't know what it is that she does, theoretically or therapeutically.
All I know is that I feel safe, and heard.

We talked about comforts I can use when I'm triggered.
She wants me to have some ready before we get to the hard stuff.

I said I can't do the cognitive self-talk ones.
I can kind of do the somatic ones (stimming).
She said since I'm neurodiverse I should try music.
I nearly keeled over, because that's exactly what I need.

She helped me to think of "anchor" songs.
These are songs that can ground me or bring me back from the edge.
They're songs with positive memories where I felt safe.
We're working on finding anchor songs for each season.
I found some winter anchor songs straight away.
They're songs from childhood that help me with winter flashbacks.

The goal is that I'll have an emergency kit of anchor songs by season.
Eventually I can have them by trauma.
They aren't just songs I love.
They have to be somewhat related to the bad.

For example -
My childhood SA happened in winter with snow.
I picked a song from childhood that has good memories of snow.
It's a memory of my dad teaching me to skate on a river, in the snow.

She doesn't even know a lot of the trauma yet.
She doesn't even know about the childhood SA.
In fact, only a few "little" things for background info, from childhood.
She still knew that my body would react best to music as a comfort.

I'm building my anchor library now.

I forgot to say that she showed me an app used by combat vets with PTSD.
It's for cataloguing their own anchor songs.


It's called "Virtual Hope Box", by Military One Source: An Official Defence Department website.

I haven't opened that yet, but the idea is really cool.