Rants

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Your ok .

Why do I do this to myself?
I am addicted to the Internet. This is a problem. A huge one.
How am I going to survive in college?

im listening to 2UE right now. OH MY GOD WHAT A PILE OF s#$%! this is the most racist homophobic stuff i have listened to in a long while. my comrade was just on there talking about the palestine rally tomorrow but i missed that bit and was listening to the responses. this woman(and the commentator agreed with her) just ranted about migrants coming to this country and bringing their problems with them when they just should leave their problems behind and forget their hardship as she, a white woman did, decryed the rally tomorrow as unaustralian because patrick dared to say australia should not support an apartheid state, and then she went on a homophobic rant about the children of same sex parents turning out messed up and she gave the example of a family at school where both parents were female and the beautiful(she stressed that) daughter turned out messed up because she was picked on. basically she blamed the victims for the bullying and not homophobia in society and the bullies. did i mention the anti refugee rhetoric? then to top it off they both took racism to another level- patrick didnt specify his race/ethnicity so the woman asks if he is palestinian and the commentator is like he sounds like a uni student( he isnt and what? palestinians dont go to uni?) and he didnt sound palestinian. what the hell does that even mean? was he expecting arabs to all have a stereotypical "wog voice" and act like a lad or wear baggy clothes or something? what the frack? the next was the same but the one after that was better and supported same sex marriage and gave the example of his friends who had a loving relationship and showered their kid with affection and the commentators response was to ask the gender of the child!! ! garrrrrrrraaaaaaggghhhhh this is why i do not listen to talkback radio!

I absolutely hate feeling sexual impulses anymore, I abhor pornography and lately I've ever been in the deepest, most hopeless depression -or- I'm horny and all I can think about is sex. The week before last I was taking anxiety meds before my doctor's appointment and I had the best week, zero desires in my head, nothing. I just read, brainstormed, researched, on my favorite subjects, felt good. Now I here I am this week, unusually horny and it pisses me off. I don't want a relationship and couldn't have one anyway, stop making me think of the physical requirements, dear Nature. Ugh, I hate, hate, HATE it. It always reminds me of my own physical insecurities and I just HATE sex. I've had it once, loathed it, yet I keep having these feelings. Its such an annoying, conflicted feeling. I DON'T WANT A PARTNER..yet my body tells me otherwise sometimes and it makes me want to punch a wall. I can't have a good day it seems, either get super depressed and only want to sleep OR sex, sex, sex. I try to eat as healthy as possible but maybe I'm just eating too much fruit or something and its f*****g with my body's chemistry.

Also I posted this in the book thread but I'm seriously PISSED off at the book I'm currently reading, the characterization is so non-existent and its the slowest read ever..yet I have this oath to myself to never read a new book until I finish what I'm working on. I'm the kind of reader who voraciously gobbles up literature, I finished Gone With The Wind pretty fast and could comprehend what was going on. Not so with Yamato: Rage in Heaven . I want to strangle the author. To make matters worse I have a stack of awesome, good looking books sitting before me.

I recently ordered a new laptop. But the keyboard has an interesting feature space saving I didn't notice before ordering it.



WTF is with those arrow keys!
Why would they manufacture something so unconscionably stupid!

I think thats your parents speaking their, another member here she's asian to who's in the same boat, who says you need a college education?

I don't need one I can read a book or go on a holida (in my tent ) well away from the NT's ,I even had my own private island in my tent in Sydney recently , overlooking the harbour take that Richard Branson my own private island and I didn't have to work a 7000 hr + week

I'm really annoying and nobody likes me!! !

I can tell that the prof for my summer course is annoyed with me (after only two classes). He asks these questions aloud to the whole class and the class shouts out answers...only sometimes he asks questions that he answers himself and doesn't expect anyone to shout out an answer...and I can't tell when he wants an answer and when he doesn't so I shout out at inappropriate times .I'm sure I've also done other things to annoy him that I'm unaware of....I'm a rather annoying person and tend to get on my profs’ nerves! He never picks me when I have my hand up to ask a question and he used to walk around the class throughout the lecture but recently started staying on the opposite side of the room from me (I sit at the very front).When I went to ask him a question after class 2 other kids were with me who asked questions and he answered their questions thoroughly...but when I asked him something he told me to go home and read over my notes in what I thought was a really rude way. Everyone else in the class loves this prof and two other girls I met in an ASD support group at my university loved him too....so I actually wanted to take a course with this particular prof. I'm so annoying that I managed to piss off a prof who got along well with 2 other girls who are on the spectrum....and who the rest of the class like so much they actually spend their break talking to one-another about how great he is! I suck!! I'm so glad there's a rant thread.....................

I started listening to this song...never really paid attention to it until today (Jar of hearts - Christina Perri) and GRRRR it is stuck in my head and reminds me of a past/current love. I can't get this total slut out of my head. Totally broke my heart. Trusted him, loved him, and he just ruined me. He'd ignore my messages, txts etc, anything dealing with our relationship. *ANYTHING* else he'd answer. So another pair of best friends, gone, *poof*. It's been four years...still in hell. So thanks dude. Way to ruin something awesome by being a slut. It would've been nice to know if I was EVER cared about or just some warm place.

PLUS...

All bad drivers...stay off the damn road. Geez...they need to make people do more road tests. Swifter fines. Oh good lord some people are stupid/arrogant/asses/etc. It's like they say...I am driving, I own the road and I can do whatever I want. Well grrr. GO away idiot.

Just stab me in the back over something that had nothing to do with you. I hate catty people, and I'm not going to get sucked into becoming another one.

Well if that's the case, you must be a statistical outlier. I'm not prepared to take my chances and count on being a lucky outlier like you.

Argh, I hate my stomach and bowels! They hurt terribly and I'm nauseous! Gastro doc appt on Monday.

They changed the type of apple juice in school, I always drink a carton of apple juice but now it tastes like puke, and there's nothing else I want to drink. Jeez thanks. Also, my parents have merrily invited around lots of people for next Saturday and didnt even think to tell me, like they never think to tell me when something happens. Grr.

All because I'm a girl going into the gaming industry does not mean I'm going to play Nintendogs and help little girls find cutesy little DS games.

I have every right and reason to play "the games guys play". So shut up and let me play my Skyrim and Resistance!! !!

After all, I am "one of the guys" right?! !!

Only just saw this sorry, figured I should type a response... idk, I have trouble really talking to people in the first place, like I have every intention of being sociable but I always hit the same problems:

1) I don't have anything to talk about or any real interests, let alone ones in common;
2) Even if I do, I feel like if I say anything that isn't blandly related to an immediate task (ie. college work) that people will hate me or I just won't make any sense;
3) I think people will neglect me or abandon me immediately once I'm of no social use to them;
4) I act like I hate people because it's a convenient way of dealing with the fact that I think people hate me/don't want to be hurt by people;
5) I think I have something like BDD, I often end up being late by like an hour or so because I see myself in the mirror or w/e and lose confidence, try on all my clothes and just end up lying in a pile on the bed crying and trying to pretend that nothing exists. Often I don't want people to take any notice of me or see my face for that reason, and defend myself by not speaking or saying anything of note.

I used to feel like I could improve myself but I have so many compound problems that it feels impossible. It's difficult to focus on anything else, too. I'm incredibly stressed out right now because I'm in the last month of college and the grades I get are going to determine which university I get in to, and I feel like if I don't do well I'll be losing the only thing that makes me worth anything as a person.

e: to add a little more ranting to this, I just had the WORST DAY. Spent a couple of hours doing the aforementioned mirror thing and completely missing my chance to go in and get work done, then I got back home and my neighbour was playing THE LOUDEST MUSIC I HAVE EVER HEARD. No, really, the bass was making me feel ill. So I left to my parents' house and my brother was giving abuse and making threats at my parents, including threatening to punch my dad, then he said I was "just a spaz"... let's just say we all ended up talking to the police. Brother really needs to go to the hospital but he refuses to stay in. Now I'm back home I should be better but I'm just fretting the possibility that there will be more noise :/

I wasn't originally going to reply to anyone in this thread, but I can relate to what you guys (Almajo and Colinn) are saying here.

I just woke up from a dream in which I had struck up a friendship with someone I see quite regularly at work (though we don't have much of a social contact between us). The dream was one of those very LIFELIKE ones, not very surreal, and went on for a while, so that kind of worsens it.

The point is that I, too, don't have a lot of friends. I have one friend and one acquaintance. I should consider it wealth that I have friends at all at this point (I met them both about 2 years ago), but sometimes I think I may not appreciate them enough. I don't quite know what it is; in the past, friends and even relatives have turned their back on me or we've otherwise parted ways, and as a result, I feel this kind of social anxiety about getting to know anyone. They say "A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet", but I keep in mind the possibility that if I let anyone too close, they might hurt me (or I might hurt them with my social cluelessness and awkwardness).
I've sometimes been going to social events and hobby clubs, in part with the intention of meeting new people. This is also how I met my 2 current friends. But otherwise, I find it very, very, very difficult to connect with anyone.

But now, after this dream, and some other issues of the brain, it almost feels like I'm going slightly insane because of my failure to smoothly interact with other folks.