scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Why have I never been arrested, Im a screw up it should have happened by now. Because I am a horrible irresponsible person who should not have any freedom. lol

+3

I expected to be doing chemistry homework for a few hours. I completed it in 20 minutes.

+2. I am more relaxed right now than I have been in about two months.

-1

Various cognitive tests and symptoms seem to suggest I'm in prodrome schizophrenia. You think the negative amount would be greater for something like this, but I'm hoping I'm just a pscyho-hypochrondiac and my data is unreliable. Of course, maybe my rating isn't greater because the schizophrenia possibly makes me not care as much (Flatter emotions and all).

-8 lately I feel like my skin is turning inside out, I can't get certain memories out of my head. I wish I could replace them with good ones.

Last edited by Sextaesada on 12 Nov 2011, 2:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

4 or 5. Im sad right now.

-5. where is my man to give me a cuddle?

took my vyvanse at 4 this afternoon its still effecting me making it impossible to sleep -9

Numb and emotionless, and there is either something wrong with my eyes or my brain which ever one is causing the different colored random shapes I keep seeing out of the corner of my eye. Mornings are weird...

You just seem so depressed. You're not at all a horrible person and you seem pretty responsible to me. I wonder if you can find a therapist who specializes in the issues you're dealing with who would help you.

hmm, sounds good!

I am x in this equation: 2x=n.

+1 - Good week coming next week, long day today and a little drained.

Ok maybe I am not a horrible person.......but how am I responsible? I have been going on and on about how bad I feel and yet I still haven't put any effort into trying to get any help because I am paranoid about mental health professionals making things worse so the idea makes me anxious. A responsible person would tell themself to quit being stupid and just make a freaking phone call or go somewhere to inquire about what is availible. I am planning to drop out of college and have no motivation to really put much effort into the remainder of this semester.......and last night and the night before what was I doing? Drinking.....yes lets drink when everything is going to hell that always helps.

Also I don't know I can afford a therapist who would specialize in anything specific, don't know I could afford one in general.....and I've tried therapists in the past that does not really seem to help so I don't know that spending what I have left from the college grants/loans on something that has proven insufficient in the past is a very good idea....or if I get on SSI, I probably could not afford it either.

Somewhere in the negative due to lack of sleep and feeling emotionally wrung out.

-10
Have you
Ever felt
Like you're floating on a cloud in your mind and you will die
Painfully if you fall off, but all you really want is just that someone will
Make an attempt to grab your hand because no matter how hard you fall,
Everything is going to be all right if at least one person cares
?

Meh. f**k this. I'll just get some more smirnoff downstairs. That'll cheer me up

share some with me!