scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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To all the minuses: hope you guys feel better soon!
+1 today

-5 I am scared for dad's life. He is experiencing angina and I read its a symptom of coronary heart disease, the worst killer in the US. The only good thing going on now is my favorite restaurant is letting me put up my art on the walls. Also I am having an autism conference soon and Temple Grandin is going to be a speaker. The other problem is that I am starting to hear minor voices at least in other sounds like the road was making fun of me and so was the rain. I know this is kind of normal to hear voices in other noises though. I am also starting to see a lot of people either in the corner of my eye or in front of me and they disappear. As some of you know I am afraid of the government spying on me. The problem is one of our friends is applying for a job at the FBI. They already know everything about me. This makes me scared that he will turn against me. I am scared to death about many other things as well but I won't get into them here. The main reason it is happening is that I am stressed out. Also anxiety attacks every day. The assessment is on December 8th if it doesn't get pushed back. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my mom is my caregiver and she gets paid. The problem is with this program that they only look at the last week. If they choose a month that I am doing well (I have my good and bad months) then my mom will lose all the hours. Sometimes December is a good month (because I look forward to the next year) but all the stress is sure to make it bad. I am already going downhill. With all this stress its perfectly normal to get like I am getting. I am sorry that my messages are long every time I post on this thread. I just don't want to bother you guys with a new thread every time that I want to get my feelings down. I know my pills have no effect when I am having severe stress. It works well normally.

I've been all over the place today, but if I average it all out (the lowest being -10) I get about -2.

So... -2

+10, to think there are ways to get 'high' without drugs......I think I like this Occupy (insert city) thing. This could be good or bad depending on ones prespective.

Hm? Elaborate please

This is true. Its called "weed"

Well I live near Denver, Colorado and went to the Occupy Denver protests last night....and it was awesome, and I want to do it again, was what I was getting at.

Weed is a drug...it is also an herb and natural, but that does not disqualify it from being a drug.

yeah, just a joke I like. I tend to think of it more along the lines of "intoxicant" like alcohol; alcohol for some reason is usually not counted as a "drug"

Well if alcohol was considered a drug, then people might question why other drugs aren't legal.

Indeed. Meeting difficult issues with the skewing of the meanings of words and phrases is a very functional tactic around the slow-minded majority.

I'm at -10, now. I want to die. I just have nothing to live for.

That is how I usually feel......but for better or worse I found something I freaking enjoy the hell out of but I still feel I don't have much to lose so that is part of it. I mean I could be arrested if I start going down to Denver to protest more but what are they going to do? there is nothing they can really take from me anymore.

On that spectrum... 3 or 4.

-5

glad you are enjoying yourself, but I don't really see any value in these protests.
-3

The point is to bring attention to some of the problems going on in the world...and to the fact that people are not happy with the way things are going. I've been unhappy with society and the economic/political system for quite some time and I feel its about time people made a stand so damn right I'm going to want to get involved with it. I don't expect everyone to agree but I've been waiting for something like this so it would be a shame to miss out and regret it later on.