scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+2

-10.

+5 I am feeling a little better than usual even though I am still getting some of the thoughts. The thing that boosted my score is yesterday I had a good autism conference. I met Temple Grandin personally. You can definitely tell she is autistic but she is nice. She loved my art. She said that my art is good enough to make a living at doing it. That made me feel good as the most famous autistic in the world said such a nice thing to me. I need to push my art a lot more so I don't get such low amount for my starve. She gave me good advice for my art. Also this person (I was selling my art at this conference as I was a vendor) that is part of a reptile organization loved my art as well. In fact she gave me a free booth at this big reptile expo in Seattle ( I live in Washington State). So this means before June of next year I have to have a lot more reptile drawings. I love animals. They make me at peace and happy. Even when I am at my lowest, my pet macaw at home cheers me up. He is the sweetest thing alive. Also my brother's autism app was a success there. That is shocking. My brother is a programmer and designed an autism app. I have never had a bad autism conference but holiday bazaars are a struggle. I had one last week that was a waste of time. I only made $195 for 2 days. For that one I usually made between $700-800 in 2 days. In autism conferences they usually buy prints rather than cheap cards. At holiday bazaars they usually buy some prints but mainly cards. The problem is that I am not perfect because this group called Ventures I am in has a store and I have my art in it and its not doing so hot. This means they might kick me out. Then that would cause a major crash. So this is what is going on right now.

-11 I didn't do anything to deserve this.

I thought I had a shot at true happiness.

F*ck it all, just F*ck...

I seriously doubt -11 Grisha...did you have pills in your hands ready to end your life last week. That's what -11 means and where I am always on the verge of being.

went back and re-opened an email from my boyfriend where he took a picture of itty bitty oranges just because he knew it would make me happy. so darn thoughtful and romantic, silly of me to hover at 0.

revised: +4

<3

-8

Went for a very long surf as soon as i woke up... same as pretty much every other day... wasnt as good as it usually would be... came home after i went for a drive just to kill time... came home and now im dying of sudden and extreme tiredness... Randomly just so rediculesly tired... Mother is pestering me to get a better job... it appears to be the only thing that is ever on her mind... it contributes a few negative points on the scale...

zero. oh im sleepy/tired/jumpy/whatever.

-5 Too emotionally exhausted to feel worse...

Sad.

+3

Usually I get wild ups and downs through the day so I'm satisfied with being in a more stable mood for now.

+4

...

Last edited by MXH on 04 Dec 2011, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

“Normally seven minutes of another person's company was enough to give her a headache so she set things up to live as a recluse. She was perfectly content as long as people left her in peace. Unfortunately society was not very smart or understanding.” -3 ugh.

I don't even know...