scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+6

One more day, and I think it might be a Star Trek day.

-10

Just like I said back then, nothing but a dream.

+1

Congratulations!
You are in the positives!! !!

This is the first time I've seen this!
So I wanted to celebrate it with you!

+8. I'm over things. I just posted about it in Haven incase anyone cares

chrissyrun,

Thanks. It feels good to know that a complete stranger cares enough to post such.

(I had a couple of other positive moments, due to care from my two friends. Now, I don't see feeling negative due to her.)

+1

Eh, I notice things occasionally.

That's awesome...be careful not to fall in love with her too quickly though. I did that and it kinds hindered a good friendship. It didn't kill it, but it's more awkward between him and I now. Just be warned.

Nah, I'm done with the dating stuff, at least for a long time anyway (that's not any devotion to "her", she can't come back, no matter how able I might or might not become). I don't have much of a desire for companionship, and I'm cool with my own company (after all, I have an ASD).

People are too confusing, and selfish for the most part.

Bout a 4, had a good day yesterday catching up with a friend and maybe I can get some more of her company. Today should be good as well. I need to get out of the house today for sure!

That sucks. But it's understandable.
For me, I can't wait to go back to uni and hopefully get a social life and date.
lol, I did sign up for a free dating website, and cute guys message me sometimes. But I say that I want someone of my same religion on my profile, so it's their own dang fault if the message and I'm not interested.
But I guess that's kinda juvenile of me....I need a real social life.

Indeed, people are selfish...but I am a person...and so is everyone else. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Make the best of it.

To me it's fine. I don't draw energy and happiness from others, rather, I don't mind associating with people I feel hold the same ideals as me; I don't need it though, as I'm quite content with pursuing my interest. If said people are there, then that's cool, as we can share stuff together (help one another), but if not, that's cool too. I feel loss like anyone else however when those I've become accustomed to leave, as it's something I don't do; I'll always be back, even if there is a break for some time, and I'll always hold the same feelings in my heart. To gain is to lose and all that jazz, though, and people tend to weigh up whether it's worth hurting someone for something they want; how they deal with this mistake is telling of how they are as a person.

Nah, it's not juvenile to want a social life, it's just the other side of the coin (my side of the coin is the rarer one); just because you have an ASD doesn't mean you're introverted and schizoid. Both are normal, whether social or asocial. The ASD just makes it harder [than the average bear] all the way to impossible to gain said social life.

I don't think it's dog eat dog, as I see no one eating another, barring some outliers. Obviously, I never understood the meaning of such.

Making the best of it.... That's an interesting idea. There's the cognitive process of how we mentally deal with the emotions of life from the causes, though there's no one right way to deal with it, rather, some make it a little easier to move with, but then, that's just appearances as these things are probably impossible to compute. Making the worst of it.... That's just as interesting to me. I suppose the majority get to define the best and worst, though that's a logical fallacy.

I like Lego so much better than this stuff.

-10, shoot me, please. had enough.

-10. A few care, no one understands. No one gets it. They are lost in a delusion that I am not so different from them, that the world really is a good place, that difference does not automatically mark you for harassment and rejection.

I wish they could walk a year in my place. I know that's cruel, but I wish that.

Pink Floyd "On The Turning Away"
Album: A Momentary Lapse of Reason

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

Only, it isn't them that's doing the turning away. It's me. It's a decision, a choice I have made, because I believe it is the best thing to do. I'm smart and I'm funny and I'm pretty and I'm competent and caring. On the surface, I am so high-functioning as to appear NT when I am just myself.

And then you get closer. You see all the faux pas. You see all the times I cannot conceal my emotions. You see all the times I allow my kids to be ill-mannered and irritating-- to run, yell, fight, question, talk back-- because I cannot manipulate them and will not punish them simply for being children.

You see that I am fucked-up-- and you interpret it as uncaring, indifference, self-absorption, weakness.

And-- you're right. I could change it if I wanted to invest the effort. You see the effort it would take-- for you. For you, it would be a reasonable effort. What you do not see is that for me, the effort would be immense, and unending. What you do not see, and cannot understand, is that, for me, "acting normal" is similar to what an unending high-pressure job interview must be for you.

Yet you do not understand why I choose the turning away. You say it does not have to be. You kill me a hundred times every time you convince me that it can be otherwise-- because, in my heart, I want it to be otherwise-- only to have me learn once again that it cannot.

LEAVE ME ALONE! TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS AND JUST LET ME GO!!

-3. Not happy. But then again a repeat of history is probably all I deserve.

-5
If I was normal I'd realize that I should not, by any means keep going in this direction. People expect me to be able to handle all this stuff and guess what I'm not going to .

+6 I just noticed my ranks is Velociraptor..I like this.